11.20.09

Sloot Of The Year

Posted in Chicago

Sloot of the year 09

Sloot of the year 09

 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik surprised this little fake Brunette on the left with her BIG nose is Christine or KIKI as she likes to call herself. This girl likes to think of herself as pretty nice and an independent women..all of which is untrue. This girl doesn’t have a real job and she thinks and tells ppl that she is a supermodel lol Where this girl gets all the money to go party with her friends every night and get wasted I couldn’t figure it out for a while but now know…Isn’t it legal to be a prostitute in Chicago , oh ya it is..IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. Anyways this girl goes out all the time, I have never seen a girl go into a club and be latched onto a guy like they have been dating for years as fast as her, I’m guessing within 15 minutes of wherever she goes this will happen. I have seen this girl sit at a guys table and refuse to move for whatever reason she says thinking that the guys will want her there and buy her drinks, and possibly buy her at the end of the night. She’s a total sloot!

I’m confused why do you keep saying “she”?- nik

 


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Dirty G Still Around?

Posted in Chicago

Dirty G still around?

Dirty G still around?

 

THE DIRTY ARMY:Hi Nik, this is the infamous Gracjana aka Gbrat. This 30 something washed up rat face has been banged by EVERY guy in the lower mainland. She wishes she was an escort but she is too ugly even for that so she puts out for free. This alien has the nastiest body, no eyebrows, is balding and has the biggest refund gap I’ve ever seen! She’s made a living out of partying and will put anything up her nose and been fired from every job she’s had ranging from Brandis waitress to Joeys girl. This uneducated, jobless ditch pig is used and abused! She went to jail in Vegas for stealing a bikini (real winner!). Not to mention she hangs out with girls half her age to feel young again. There is no plastic surgery that will bring this girl back she is a write off and a total waste of life.. enough said! Later!

Her thighs are completely unproportionate, and I think she might have a touch of downs judging by her face.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

Corporate Reject

Posted in Chicago, The Dirty

Corporate Reject

Corporate Reject

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, please welcome Fat Joe to the dirty. Where do I begin…he’s a 28 year old “corporate” reject. He claimes to make millions working at the Home Depot. Obviously all he can afford is a fake gold chain to match his yellow teeth….look at that grill. I would hate to have to make-out with him bc his huge nose would get in the way. I think he still may be a virgin.

Let me guess… he lives in his mom’s basement surfing porn all day.- nik


Nik Richie

11.20.09

I Worship DW!

Posted in Chicago

I worship DW!

I worship DW!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This girl is the definition of a D-BAG of females! The JoJoShow is a douchebag!!!!!! She should have her ass whooped! She quotes her lover of the seven seas DW! that is Donnie Wahlberg, all over Facebook! Noone cares! you think your so cute, GET a nose job and bigger t*ts! & what is wrong with her lip?

Whose Donnie Wahlberg? Should I know him?- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

I Didn’t Hit It

Posted in Chicago, The Dirty

9-copy29

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Johnny and his car.  He makes sure he gets to the clubs early every night so he can park his car in front of wherever he is at, oh and did I mention he was a promoter.  I heard he co-owns that car with one of his friends, they switch off day and night.  Johnny is the king of deception, he lures little c*ke heads or other fiends back to his apartment…ya nothing new eh, but he doesn’t even have any!! he tricks you just to get you back, you have to stay and drink with him or try and find your own way home.  But he is more then happy to have all of yours if you so happen to have some.  Nik this cheese face needs to be blasted, he claims to be worth millions (which he can’t touch of course) and preys on any new club rat he can find.

Looks like a taxi driver to me.  Who wants to see an 02 Hummer in front of a club.  That car blue books at 19k.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

Weathered Trash for sale!!!

Posted in Chicago

Weathered Trash for sale!!!

 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, maybe you have been to chicago and can answer this question…why oh why do girls look like this?! Broad-ass shoulders, ugly fake hair, pathetic excuse for bee-stings, i don’t get it!!! I think “would you” would be rhetorical here, no? Call me callus, but I would rather drown that be saved by this thing.

She’s so orange that she blends in with the sunset, and her orange swimmer.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

Chris G Is A Legend In His Own Mind

Posted in Chicago, The Dirty

0-copy15

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Chris G…The man, the myth, the legend.  This guy is a personal trainer and a professional douchebag.  He hits on every single girl that walks through his gyms doors.  Then at night he goes out with his ‘big time’ friends and flashes his guns to all the ladies.  He has been kicked out of clubs multiple times for grabbing chicks and even throwing a drink on one.  All because they don’t give him the time of day or because after you talk to him your not allowed to talk/flirt with other guys or he goes crazy, must be roid rage.  This guys a joke he runs his mouth at the gym all day bragging about all these dime pieces he bangs out.  He went off one time telling me all his tricks of the trade, the hooking up trade that is.  His number one trick is to do that gay arm wrap and drink when drinking with a girl, it works every time apparently lol.  Guy is a joke, and that chick he is with, the pregnant looking one is some hoe he is draggin along while he’s out trying to get with girls.

I have been struggling the last couple weeks on coming up with a good name for the Tools that sell Gym memberships.  These guys are the scum of the earth and peasants in my mind.  Every membership pusher I have ever met is a major creeper.  Any thoughts on a good name?  I know this Chris guy is a trainer, but that is close enough.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

Nasties Girl In Oak Lawn

Posted in Chicago

haha . nastiest girl in oak lawn

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, the one on the left is colette me*nyyyy. aha yeah on the dirty once again because i def believe she just deserves to be on here. she’s probably one of the nastiest girls i’ve ever seen and needs to just stop. shes a wh*re and really doesnt realize it. she cant fight her own battles and likes to have people jump her “best friends” for her. she swears she the hottest and shes not. oh yeah btw morgan shes your “best friend”? lmfao you’re stupid for believing that because if she still had keel and kelly by her side, you wouldn’t even exist to her. she goes through friends almost as much as she goes thru boys. or tries to go through boys. haha. smooth coe. real nice.

I didn’t know bunnies had muffin tops.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

Really? This Thing Can’t Be Serious

Posted in Chicago

Really? this thing can't be serious

Really? this thing can't be serious

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, ok.. I almost just threw up…multiple times. This thing on the left needs help there is no way she can possibly think any of these poses, what she is wearing on her lard-like body or all that shit on her face is sexy. Invest in a mirror, life coach and diet plan. I’ve run out of ideas of how this could be explained.. it’s not Halloween or a fatass parade or a public service announcement on how not to use your little sisters Walgreen’s makeup…Nik help me out because I just don’t understand.

Those flap jacks are horrible, it’s like she never even had a chance.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

Brodeo

Posted in Chicago

Brodeo

Brodeo

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this bromance is outta control. My best friends all dress and act like they are 25 years old. Too bad they aren’t. I think they’ve been going to to LA Tan a bit much? Frank & Mike are as bad as the Shomos who also come to my club in my hand-me-downs.

I could have sworn that was a father/son duo. They both have extreamly weathered faces, and that “I’m better than you smirk.”- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"