07.02.09

Cigar At The Beach

cigbeach

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, what is up with your horse Cigar.  Everyone in Arizona makes fun of her because she actually sounds like she has smoked a ton of cigars.

Which “Cigars” that she has smoked are you referring too? The Greg kind or the ones Indians blow?- nik


Nik Richie

03.17.09

Round 1 DIRTY March Madness Match Ups

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DIRTY March Madness Round One Match Up

  • Burnt Bacon (56.0%, 3,131 Votes)
  • CIGAR (44.0%, 2,430 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,558

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crowkrusty

DIRTY March Madness Round One Match Up

  • Krusty (70.0%, 4,431 Votes)
  • The Crow (30.0%, 1,900 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,331

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Click Here To Get Caught Up On The DIRTY March Madness


Nik Richie

02.18.09

Cigar Skeletor

cigar skeletor

Cigar you need to eat… I need you ready for the DIRTY Kentucky Derby. 


Nik Richie

01.16.09

Cigar

Cigar

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I dont think anyone ever told cigar that using a camera to check ur nose isnt as effective as a mirror. Maybe you can educate her?

Cigar how can you be training for the Derby if you are constantly in Aspen with the Scottsdale ski team chasing white tigers.- nik 


Nik Richie

01.05.09

Triple Crown Winner

Posted in Austin, Cigar

Triple Crown Winner

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hahahaha. This one is the leader of the pack fo sho..

That kind of looks like Cigar? Did she get a haircut?- nik


Nik Richie

08.14.08

Uncle Chuck/Cigar Scandal

THE DIRTY ARMY: Here’s Dirty Sac’s Wendy. Apparently she’s a big deal in her own mind. But I thought you would get a kick out of this. Wendy, Uncle Chuck, and I forget what you call the other one….it’s a horse name. But it’s Cami on your Scottsdale site all the time.

Oh and here are 2 bulletin posts from this ugly donkey:

Date: Aug 10, 2008 5:30 PM
Subject: omg i am soooo sick
Body:
of ppl always running their mouth to my ex boyfriend, sayin i was doin this and that in the club, they heard i was hookin up w all these diff ppl and making up stories trying to make us have drama!! always drama! worry about yourself not what im doing cuz its all bs!!!

and

Date: Aug 3, 2008 5:05 PM
Subject:
if anyone wants to…
Body:
pay my bills, that would also be a nice gesture. lmk……

CIGAR, the pictures don’t lie (what is with your double chin?). Is your Ex-Boyfriend a Jockey? Just wondering. Uncle Chuck, can you stop with this wild lifestyle. I am really worried about you. Anybody have the footage of Uncle Chuck beating the crap out of some kid who calls himself Hurricane Justin outside of a strip club in Sac? I give UC two more years.- nik


Nik Richie

06.26.08

Dallas (Horse to be Named?)

DIRTY ARMY, as you know, I have a stable of Dirty Horses which include:

Sea Biscuit

Barbaro

War Admiral

Secretariat (Dirty Derby Winner)

8 Belles

Cigar

Well, I am thinking about purchasing this fine horsey from Dallas and need a quality name before I add her to the DIRTY stable. DIRTY ARMY, please send me more pictures of this horse along with names you see fit for this future champion. Think about it, embrace it.


Nik Richie

05.03.08

TheDIRTY.com DERBY

derby2-2-copy.jpgdirty-derby-copy.jpg

(created by the DIRTY ARMY)

Which DIRTY horse would you bet on to win theDIRTY DERBY?

My choice would be Secretariat from Jersey by a furlong, for obvious reasons (below).

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Nik Richie

05.01.08

From my stable of Horses: CIGAR

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(click on images to enlarge)

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EMAIL: Nik so you will never guess who came into my bar last night, CIGAR! She was trotting around the bar like a slow-minded typical Scottsdale girl. Everyone in the place was staring and laughing at her.

Yes, my beautiful thoroughbred CIGAR who thinks she is a supermodel because she was a wide receiver in the biggest scam in modern day history called the “Lingerie Bowl”.- nik


Nik Richie

03.28.08

CIGAR

new-dou678ggfgche-boyfri76ghend-copy.jpg

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skele45rthyrthytor-copy.jpg

EMAIL: Nik this is too funny! He looks like an Umpa Lumpa! Cigar’s new name should be Skeletor! Keep up the good work General.

I cannot believe Cigar is dating a guy that has spider sides. Actually I can’t believe a guy would ride that horse in the first place… she is nuts and will be displayed at a museum one day under “women who were useless for our country”.- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"