THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, what is up with your horse Cigar.  Everyone in Arizona makes fun of her because she actually sounds like she has smoked a ton of cigars.

Which “Cigars” that she has smoked are you referring too? The Greg kind or the ones Indians blow?- nik

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Cigar you need to eat… I need you ready for the DIRTY Kentucky Derby. 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I dont think anyone ever told cigar that using a camera to check ur nose isnt as effective as a mirror. Maybe you can educate her?

Cigar how can you be training for the Derby if you are constantly in Aspen with the Scottsdale ski team chasing white tigers.- nik 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hahahaha. This one is the leader of the pack fo sho..

That kind of looks like Cigar? Did she get a haircut?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Here’s Dirty Sac’s Wendy. Apparently she’s a big deal in her own mind. But I thought you would get a kick out of this. Wendy, Uncle Chuck, and I forget what you call the other one….it’s a horse name. But it’s Cami on your Scottsdale site all the time.

Oh and here are 2 bulletin posts from this ugly donkey:

Date: Aug 10, 2008 5:30 PM
Subject: omg i am soooo sick
Body:
of ppl always running their mouth to my ex boyfriend, sayin i was doin this and that in the club, they heard i was hookin up w all these diff ppl and making up stories trying to make us have drama!! always drama! worry about yourself not what im doing cuz its all bs!!!

and

Date: Aug 3, 2008 5:05 PM
Subject:
if anyone wants to…
Body:
pay my bills, that would also be a nice gesture. lmk……

CIGAR, the pictures don’t lie (what is with your double chin?). Is your Ex-Boyfriend a Jockey? Just wondering. Uncle Chuck, can you stop with this wild lifestyle. I am really worried about you. Anybody have the footage of Uncle Chuck beating the crap out of some kid who calls himself Hurricane Justin outside of a strip club in Sac? I give UC two more years.- nik

DIRTY ARMY, as you know, I have a stable of Dirty Horses which include:

Sea Biscuit

Barbaro

War Admiral

Secretariat (Dirty Derby Winner)

8 Belles

Cigar

Well, I am thinking about purchasing this fine horsey from Dallas and need a quality name before I add her to the DIRTY stable. DIRTY ARMY, please send me more pictures of this horse along with names you see fit for this future champion. Think about it, embrace it.

(created by the DIRTY ARMY)

Which DIRTY horse would you bet on to win theDIRTY DERBY?

My choice would be Secretariat from Jersey by a furlong, for obvious reasons (below).

(click on images to enlarge)

EMAIL: Nik so you will never guess who came into my bar last night, CIGAR! She was trotting around the bar like a slow-minded typical Scottsdale girl. Everyone in the place was staring and laughing at her.

Yes, my beautiful thoroughbred CIGAR who thinks she is a supermodel because she was a wide receiver in the biggest scam in modern day history called the “Lingerie Bowl”.- nik

EMAIL: Nik this is too funny! He looks like an Umpa Lumpa! Cigar’s new name should be Skeletor! Keep up the good work General.

I cannot believe Cigar is dating a guy that has spider sides. Actually I can’t believe a guy would ride that horse in the first place… she is nuts and will be displayed at a museum one day under “women who were useless for our country”.- nik