THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this is Grosse Pointe’ “Millionaire” Matt Swegles. He’s in “wealth management” but can’t manage his own life… divorced from a local news anchor (Heather Cattalo) and has a major drinking problem. There isn’t a single night that he’s not passed out from too much Gin and drunk texting any hot girl whose number he can get on Facebook. Friends every fake model in town and throws money around on fancy dates to try to get them in bed. Problem is, he can’t keep his Greg hard for more than 3 minutes (I know from experience) before he passes out like a p*ssy. Claims he wants a wife, but can’t keep his lies straight enough to fool anyone. Stay away from this dirtbag ladies!!!
Why is Amy Schumer holding his gut?- nik