THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is good ol’ CJ Stretch of the Kamloops Blazers… No wonder hes on the blazers, his f*ckin crotch is on fire. Although he is an outstanding young talent on the ice, theres something that we should all know. Lets just say CJ stands for C*m Junkie and Stretch just simply refers to his slinky dong. He bangs allright girls, plays great… but is just a sex maniac when in public. he hails from Irvine CA, so he might even be bi-sexual. Who knows though right? Nik what do you think about our future NHL’er Mr.Stretch?

Coming from Irvine, CA doesn’t make you Bi-curious it just makes you like Asian chicks.  I decided.- nik

Click to enlarge

Since you all know I am a Gentleman to the highest degree.  I would like to share my NCAA bracket with the DIRTY ARMY and get your thoughts.  Carry on.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Audra she is from NC , I grew up with her and she always would tell us one day she would get to Jordan and he would love her. Well looks like her and his AIRNESS are now “just friends” … Nik this is Micheal JORDAN we are talking about why do ex NBA guys like Dennis Rodman, Charles Barkley etc, Score better tail than the great MJ?

Yeah that is true… MJ does score some pretty RANK chicks, but from what I have heard he is a sex addict like Tiger which throws looks out the window.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: I have been dirty army strong for a few years now and being from a small city i never get any dirt until now..Mr. Heisman (Sam Bradford) has been in Pensacola, Fl for a few weeks now going through re-hab for his shoulder. This Frogy bastard surounded himself with nothing but Greg and vodka and Cranberry. What are your thoughts on Bradford Nik?

I think he is looking at that dudes nipples.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik she is a dum ritch snob. she drives a mercdes n alwayz has expensive clothes on n walks round like shes da sh*t. she thinks her sh*t dun stink. she been dating some purple crayon on the wvu team forever but he f*cks everyone else. she is a dum slut thinking hes gonna be with her when he goes pro. he luvs me and is with me and c*ms to see me in her car. he fux her friends shes a dumb c*nt n got fat..

Her lip stud is way to big, and she doesn’t realize that make-up doesn’t hide the size of her face.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, did you hear The Arizona Cardinals and former Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderson have agreed to a two-year contract worth $7.25 million. Does that mean your boy Matt Leinart will continue to hold a clipboard again next year? The Cards must not have any faith in Leinarts ability if they went out and signed a young Pro Bowl quarterback. I guess since he won’t have to worry about studying film and getting ready for games Leinart can continue to party with underage chicks.

Matt, at what point are you going to grow some balls and demand a trade.  All Arizona has done for you is make you look like a worthless joke.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, ever wanted some trashy men? Well if so THIS GUY is your man! ASSH*LE WARNING! I wont say this f*ckers name, but he is a football player for Portland State University. You should check it out! This guy (though I use that word loosely) is so nasty herpes drips out of his pores. Countless women later he will find you and don’t worry he might seem nice at first, but you’ll soon realize that he’s a huge douche nozzle. Also, if you have any gay friends don’t even think about this getting serious because he definitely wont hang out with them, but don’t worry it’s “OKAY” to be gay. If you ever need some he is available whenever and no the football team doesn’t win games so he’ll be available whenever you need. Though make sure you wear protection cuz this f*cker will give you something..

I wonder how big his man boobs will get when he drops out of school.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m sure if you have met Amare Stoudemire, you already know that he is a party animal. He is always out at all the Scottsdale night clubs drinking with his posy. What you don’t know is that he gets tables/bottles for free at the night clubs because he is famous and people want “famous” people in their clubs. You would think that since his tabs are almost always comped that he would tip fat. NO!!! He leaves 5$ on a 800$ tab!!! he is rude, disrespectful conceited and as cheap as they come. I have heard this from several people who have served him and his friends. Not only that he brings home random h*es from the bar and attempts to hook up with them when they are barely 18 and not even legal to drink! all in all Amare Stoudemire is a cheap, stuck up, *sshole! you don’t want him in your club he will only COST you money!

One time I took over his table at PCL as he was leaving the club and they asked me if I could tip a little bit more because Amare and his goons went through 5 bottles and left nothing.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik please warn the world about these two Waymon (left) and Justin (right), who somehow attend TCU. They are both on the football team however neither of them actually play, and they are both total CREEPS. Waymon CONSTANTLY texts girls who have no idea how he got their number and Justin was suspended for a few games because he was accused of raping a white girl. I guess they have also given up on football careers and decided to just become thieves since they both steal from EVERYONE. It’s thugs like this who tarnish TCU’s good name and they need to go back to wherever they came from.

Since when has TCU had a good name?  If you recruit thugs your school becomes ghetto.  TCU=’s Ghetto.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this girl has slept with every athlete at WVU. Claims to have dated them but really only got f*cked by all of them. She is a psycho. She even tryied to fight one of the boys girls at the club. She doesnt even go to school there she just sucks dick there. She went from white basketball players there to f*cking every football player. She is white trash..

True Life: I’m addicted to purple crayons.- nik