THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, if you had a gun to your head and the killer said he would only let you live if you took a dump on one of these girls chests.  Which one would it be?

Answer:  Honestly, I would hershey skirt hard on the one in the middle… hoping that she would get some light brown shrapnel to the chin.

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I don’t care what anyone says… I have been with you since you started dirtynewport.com and Canary is by far your hottest dirty celebrity.  I do have to give you props because now that she is famous the Hardrock in Las Vegas flies her out every weekend and puts her up just so that she can hang out at the hotel.  Very smart on there part considering it is the only reason I go there.

You mean you go to Alexis Park and walk across the street and you front like you are staying at the Hardrock.  “Circle Bar Warrior” is what I call people like you… fake it till you make it, so you can slay a dragon that is out of your league.  All good.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Hey Nik, I saw Canary this weekend in Vegas at a club all over this douche.. Do you think she was all drunk and thought he was the guy from LMFAO?

Great… Canary’s face is turning white again?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, it seems like Canary had a crazy date night, who is this tool she is hanging out with?

Canary’s face is starting to get Ghostly again… I hope she is not reverting.- nik