The Great Pumpkin

February 15, 2011 Fish Lips, Oregon State, Portland 59

Someone call Charlie Brown...it's Jordan Myers THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

Someone call Charlie Brown...it's Jordan Myers THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

Someone call Charlie Brown...it's Jordan Myers THE GREAT PUMPKIN!

THE DIRTY ARMY: This nasty b!tch is Jordan Myers. Her voice sounds like she’s been a chain smoker since she was born. She sounds like a man and looks exactly like one too. She’s a cheerleader at Western Oregon University and is a dirty jersey chaser. She has disgusting leathery orange skin, and cakes on make-up to hide her manly features. She LOVES to shit-talk, but can’t stand when it’s dished out to her. She says she likes to have guy friends…but really…it’s just because she blends in with them. She’s a sloppy alcoholic who’s drunk all the time, and tries to get with any guy that has a pulse. She’s disgusting and honestly, it’s time for this b!tch to be put in his…(sorry her) place.

Does she honestly think she looks better like that? This is one ugly fish. But hey, at least she can swallow. -nik



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Stealing Sleezy Slooty Season

February 15, 2011 Fish Lips, Wichita 47

Stealing Sleezy Slutty Season

Stealing Sleezy Slutty Season

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Season. She thinks its cool to dress up like its halloween everyday of the year. She has slept with over 40 of my friends and after they got tested they all tested positive for DRD. People in the city of Wichita need to beware of her little shenanigans. Shes a thief and was caught stealing from her job countless times SO WATCH YOUR SH*T! She LOVES f*cking guys in bands. And what guy in a band wouldnt like to fuck an easy loose b*tch. About 2 years ago she tried Over-dosing on Tylonel because a guy in a band didnt want her. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT WOULD DO THAT! This girl needs to stay in her cave and get her eyes fixed. Nobody likes an ugly cock-eyed girl.

I’m a little scared to say anything negative in fear she’ll try and OD on Midol or something.- nik



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I Suspect A Greg

February 12, 2011 Fish Lips, Seattle 33

I Suspect A Greg

I Suspect A Greg

I Suspect A Greg

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this (girl) is hilarious. And I mean in a way to laugh at. She acts like she is going to be the next Tila Tequila or something. Her name is Emily Ann Ross, I have only met her once but I know she loves the greg and especially the purple crayon. She adds literally 100 people a day, and then she try’s to tell people everyone adds her, why would anyone add this weird looking chick. She posts statuses updates every hour and every guy friend likes and ogles over her pics. I don’t get it cause to me she looks like shes probably hiding a greg. Shes still a senior in high school and is engaged to this forgy obviously. Hopefully he reads this and finds out hes with a girl(guy) that gets hammered and cheats on him with a bunch of Russians all the time. Anyways I just thought u should know shes a joke.

Her upper lip must smell really good. -nik



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Chump Aresnault Small Cust

February 11, 2011 Fish Lips, Paris 3

Chump Aresnault small cust fuck

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, ok for starts this guy thinks he is the biggest french pimp that ever lived even though he’s only hooked up with four chicks all dragons. This guy f*cked his best friend of four years girlfriend. oh did i mention the guy beats off while chocking him self, how pathetic. What else can i say about his character, the only pussy he got was the left overs from his homie, the guy would fuck his own beast of a mother if he had the chance. He has to be the biggest loser i know he lives on his own and still has to get his parents to do everything for him….What a stain.either way ladies if you see this guy out at the bar stay back i know for a fact he has herpies and lies about it. oh thats the fat wh*re victoria peppin in the picture.

His ears automatically make me think he falls into the Forgy French stereotype.- nik



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Wannabe Singer

February 11, 2011 Fish Lips, Hollywood 3

Ivy Levan Singer/Model Goes Nose skiing.

Ivy Levan Singer/Model Goes Nose skiing.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This is Ivy Levan. She is an aspiring musician and retired model… Would you go play in the snow with her Nik?

I thought ghosts weren’t real.- nik



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Younger They Get The Sluttier They Are

February 11, 2011 Edmonton, Fish Lips 52

Younger they get the sluttier they are

Younger they get the sluttier they are

Younger they get the sluttier they are

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t have to say much about this petite. Kayla May is fresh. She rides as much greg as possible. Unbelievable amounts of makeup are smeared over her face as she goes to the bar night after night thinking she is somethin to look at. Hell i don’t even know what background she has in her but i know i wouldnt touch any of them after looking at her. She’s cheating on her current boyfriend (the bald one that’s over a half a decade older then her that she’s straddling) and he’s entertainingly oblivious. Wake up and smell the fish buddy shes a bar star! Aside from your constant complaint status’ on facebook that nobody truly cares 30 seconds for, you’ve been secretly busted at the bar numerous times with your 30 second teasers of grabbing greg and swapping spit. Better start thinking about getting that dog your soon to be X just bought you cause you probably won’t be together much longer.

She’s just growing into the woman she’s going to become.- nik



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She Thinks She’s Hot

February 10, 2011 Fish Lips, Oklahoma 8

she thinks she is hot!!

she thinks she is hot!!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl needs to be put on blast. She thinks she is so hot a claims to be a good girl with her church friends. But when she is around other people she tells them about how much sex she get from so many people and how she gets fisted all the time. Get this she also thinks she is a model.

Just because you take a picture of yourself does not mean you’re a “model.”- nik



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Absolute Mess

February 8, 2011 Fish Lips, Sacramento 32

hide your husband hide your kids

hide your husband hide your kids

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is maryssa h*rris aka the big black momba, she smells lik a used can of chew, she blew a guy in the break room of a blockbuster… she is always homie hopping and she can be seen trying to get with blake and tre…she thinks she gets all the dick the only ones she gets are the green dill pickles from snookies cabinet, the onlything looser than her six pack(i call it a fat pack) is her fish lips….and im not talking about the ones on her face.

Sacramento is to LA what Jersey is to New York.- nik



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