The Real Housewives of Orange County premieres tonight on Bravo. Make sure you tune in because Gretchen Rossi is going to explain her vibrating actions. I wish Slade Slimey would explain why he owes $80K in child support to his ill side scratch.

**Tamra is DIRTY ARMY Strong.  I decided.  I moved this to the top because I know everyone is typing in “Gretchen Rossi Vibrator Cord” in Google.

Also See: The Gretchen Chronicles

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, WTF is going on with the House Wives are they losing ratings or are they just big freaks? Could it be the husbands put them up to this? What do you think nik.

You know Gretchen… she is into some weird Jungle sh*t.  The purple vibrators just don’t do it for her anymore.- nik

TMZ.COM: “Real Housewife of Orange County“ Gretchen Rossi says her late fiance didn’t leave her “millions and millions of dollars” — and she’s right, he only left her 2.5.

We got a look at Jeff Beitzel‘s trust — amended a month before his death — and even though Rossi tried to make it look like he didn’t leave her much in a “Real Housewives” reunion special, she actually pulled in a pretty penny.

Gretchen was awarded $2,500,000 — some of which she collected from Beitzel’s life insurance policy. Rossi’s not the only one who sounds disappointed about the dough — we hear some of Beitzel’s five ex-wives aren’t too happy with her haul either.

Told you… Ladies can milk any old Trout.  Poor guy thought he was in love… I give her two years before she is broke only because Slade owes so much money to people.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, You need to scrounge up a print edition of today’s (8/23) LA Times Frontpage. There is a half-page ad (page A 24) for the “Women’s Empowerment Conference & Expo”, hosted by Gretchen Christina Rossi. Half the add is a picture of her. I don’t understand how anyone thought this was a good idea. I guess they figure chicks who read the LA Times Front-page must not watch a lot of “OC Housewives”, and don’t know the truth.

They obviously didn’t see the picture above or there must be a Bullet exhibit at this Expo.- nik

Also See: The Gretchen Chronicles

The word on the street is that Gretchen and Slade are expecting. Is it really Slade’s kid… who knows?
All I have to say is that the child will be born Douche and that these guys are so desperate for attention, I think they are having the baby for media.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Gretchen must be showing us the way to “talk” yourself out of a 147 MPH ticket in Nevada…Looks like it worked she was written up for a lesser charge after “self proclaiming” showing her girls to the officer..The judge has ordered Gretchen to attend Traffic Safety School.

Gretchen stop sending me bullsh*t to get more press… if you aren’t naked or doing blow (yes, I have it) I don’t care.- nik