So my dumb ass thought it would be cool to bring JV and Scooby in the VO booth to help motivate me. Talk about bad idea…
Just let me be a Hunter!
EMAIL FROM SCOOBY: Nik, as you know JV is still upset with me because he thought I big leagued him at Firehouse in Scottsdale Sat night. That is so not true! he and I are like brothers and would never leave my wing man anyways. He’s making such a big deal of it that he even unfollowed and blocked me on twitter. This whole thing doesn’t make any sense. I was seriously in the fire truck for only 15 minutes. Not my fault DJ Jon needed me to entertain bottle rats while he got ready for his set. So I went back to check out my text log to try and figure this thing out. I think JV was blacked out since we got after it that night or something cause he kept texting me the same thing over and over again. I don’t understand why he couldn’t just talk to some chicks outside for the few minutes I was gone. Gayden was even there doing frat laps and blowing kisses to randoms people. So weird. Anyways, Nik here is the text transcript. Click Here To Read Time Line. So as you can see it was nothing. It took me approximately 23 minutes to get him in the fire truck. He started walking home after 11 minutes. Talk about no patience. Jesus!
This is not what he told me Scooby, according to his records you got in the Fire Truck with 30 chicks and when he asked to come up you slammed the door and pretended like you didn’t know him. You big leagued him hard, I told you his heart is fragile right now and you crushed it. Talk about a terrible friend.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so I’m from the westside and have seen Junior Varsity around for the last few years. I know he has a Dream Killer but I saw him on Saturday with his friends and no DK, he was pretty drunk so not sure if he remembers me but I’m sure he remembers himself trying to Dougie the whole night… lol… anyway then Sunday I saw him at the Cards game with a hot girl who was definitely not his Dream Killer… Nik, whats up with that?
I have been introducing him to my leftovers. JV is back on the market and complaining that every chick I introduce him to tries to make him buy Gucci purses.- nik
[JV is on the right]
JUNIOR VARSITY: Nik, I went and celebrated my 26th birthday this past weekend in Laughlin Nevada. It was a great time, 15 of my closest friends came and only 1 ended up leaving actually making money so Laughlin did get the best of our money. Anyway maybe next year you and Scooby will not Big League me on my birthday.
Dude I told you a million times, Laughlin is Junior Varsity level (Vegas= Varsity) and your friends are from Glentucky… Every time I try to hang out with your Westside crew they ask me to take pictures with them. If they were chicks I would understand, but hanging with guys that smell like Axe and claim the Cardinals doesn’t sound fun to me.- nik
JUNIOR VARSITY: Nik, so as you know I was offered a great job opportunity to work for a up and coming company. I have decided to take the job since I can no longer handle Ari’s bullsh*t and have had enough. This is my 2 weeks notice so I will have plenty of time to find and train the next JV, thank you for all the opportunities you have opened for me and I will always be grateful for that. Maybe in the future we will be working together.- Junior Varsity Out
JV asked to be called Varsity and I refused. This is your chance to work for TheDirty.com and live the dream.
You are qualified if you can:
1) Wake up at 7am Mon-Fri
2) Pick Up Venti Vanilla Latte with 2 Splendas and lots of cream
3) Use a computer
4) Compose and Receive Emails
5) Make and receive phone calls
6) Change oil in late 90′s vehicles.
If you answer yes to 5 out of the 6 questions then your are qualified, send your resume with a letter no more than 500 words explaining why we should make you the next Junior Varsity. Please email it to [email protected]- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Courtney P*wers aka Dirty JV’s girlfriend and I’ve wanted to submit something but never have anyting good, so finally I do. This morning while JV was cooking me breakfast I turned on ESPN and all they had on was the Drama Queen Brett Favre on so I jumped on FaceBook, and I see this message at 6:22AM from this Scottsdale douche bag Casey Ottl*y: So I don’t usually make a habit out of emailing random girls on facebook that I don’t know but I couldn’t help myself in this case.. You are absolutely beautiful babe! I’m so sorry in advanced if this seems a bit weird an too forward but I had to write and tell you. I’d love to chat with you some more and maybe get to know you better. I bartend at Jackrabbit in Scottsdale. You should come in and see me sometime. Drinks on me”. JV and I couldn’t stop laughing for a few minutes… Nik how many times do you think this guy “copy and pastes” this email to girls at 6:30am? What a joke, get some real game douche.
Courtney, I think you should leave JV for him. He might be the one.- nik
**Update: So Casey’s Ex-Girlfriend emailed Courtney to thank her for saving her from getting back with Douche Bag Casey. Apparently Casey was trying to get back with his Ex and told her he is a changed man and she believed him, until she read the post and realized what a Douche and loser he will always be. Dirty Army comes through again and saves a young lady from wasting her time with an idiot like Casey.
So I am hosting PURE Nightclub and doing Venus Pool with Kid Cudi over Labor Day weekend in Las Vegas. Look at Junior Varsity already trying to fight for his own room. I wonder what the rest of my staff thinks about this?
Junior Varsity: Nik, today marks my 1 year of working for the greatest website on earth, TheDirty.com. I wanted to thank you for the opportunity you gave me by giving me this job, and I hope I am working up to my high expectations you have of your employees. Without you I would have never been able to experience the things I have in the past year, partying in Miami, Dallas, Vegas, New York and countless other cities. And I can say you have made my life better and for that I thank you. Thanks for rehiring me after the numerous times Jewbacca AKA Ari Golden has fired me due his God Complex. And without you I would have never met the love of my life Courtney and for that Im most thankful to you Nik. I got your back and let me know what is needed of me to take TheDirty to the next level. -JV
Stop sucking my Greg and get back to work.- nik