THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m die hard Dirty Army and was out and about on Friday in Scottsdale and everyone was wearing these stupid ugly sweaters and I can’t help to think how retarded it is.  So on Saturday I went out on the Westside and came across the same situation, a bunch of people dressed up in stupid ugly sweaters.  I thought I recognized one of the douche bags but couldn’t remember from where and then all the sudden it hit me… JV is one of the idiots with the sweaters on, I had to get real DA on him and snap this pic of him and his friend.  Nik, please tell me you agree that these ugly sweater parties or pub crawls or whatever are stupid.

Ladies if this guy in the gay sweater and white sox hat interests you. He will be at McFadden’s this Friday on the Westside at Westgate. I will be there too trying to help him lose his virginity. Also, if you need +2′s make sure you bring Toys for Tatas. The girl with the most toys has the best chance of winning free boobs and a 30 second make out session with JV (ok, JV part is optional).- nik

**Dude stop being so Junior Varsity level out on the AZ streets.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I follow JV on twitter and I couldn’t help but laugh when he called out Reggie Bush about dropping that potential touchdown that allowed the Cowboys to get right back in the game.  I was at the game and had to take this picture and send it to you guys.  Nik, what you think about Reggie Bush’s Performance?

I loved his performance. He got -.3 points in Fantasy Football. What a bust.- nik

So this rapper by the name of Gilly the Squid (17 year old high school kid) has been stalking me since he was 16. He is from Mesa, Arizona. Every time I go out on the weekends when I am home in Scottsdale this kid is waiting outside clubs trying to make me listen to his music. I never do.

This last Thursday he was standing outside PCL trying to give me a CD. I told him to stay in school and study and he told me to go F*CK myself. In my moment of clarity I apologized knowing this kid drives 30 minutes every time just to see me and he claims in emails that he is DIRTY ARMY.

Finally, the conversation ended with me telling him to make a Dirty song and I might listen to it. The next morning I had this in my inbox. Not bad for 17… what do you think?

Gilly, I am hosting an event on the Westside at Westgate Dec. 17th at McFadden’s. I want you to perform this song and see if it is really you.

Update:  Click Here To Download This Song

So my dumb ass thought it would be cool to bring JV and Scooby in the VO booth to help motivate me. Talk about bad idea…

Just let me be a Hunter!

EMAIL FROM SCOOBY: Nik, as you know JV is still upset with me because he thought I big leagued him at Firehouse in Scottsdale Sat night.  That is so not true! he and I are like brothers and would never leave my wing man anyways.  He’s making such a big deal of it that he even unfollowed and blocked me on twitter. This whole thing doesn’t make any sense.  I was seriously in the fire truck for only 15 minutes.  Not my fault DJ Jon needed me to entertain bottle rats while he got ready for his set.  So I went back to check out my text log to try and figure this thing out.  I think JV was blacked out since we got after it that night or something cause he kept texting me the same thing over and over again.  I don’t understand why he couldn’t just talk to some chicks outside for the few minutes I was gone.  Gayden was even there doing frat laps and blowing kisses to randoms people. So weird.  Anyways, Nik here is the text transcript.  Click Here To Read Time Line. So as you can see it was nothing.  It took me approximately 23 minutes to get him in the fire truck.  He started walking home after 11 minutes.  Talk about no patience.  Jesus!

This is not what he told me Scooby, according to his records you got in the Fire Truck with 30 chicks and when he asked to come up you slammed the door and pretended like you didn’t know him. You big leagued him hard, I told you his heart is fragile right now and you crushed it. Talk about a terrible friend.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so I’m from the westside and have seen Junior Varsity around for the last few years. I know he has a Dream Killer but I saw him on Saturday with his friends and no DK, he was pretty drunk so not sure if he remembers me but I’m sure he remembers himself trying to Dougie the whole night… lol… anyway then Sunday I saw him at the Cards game with a hot girl who was definitely not his Dream Killer…  Nik, whats up with that?

I have been introducing him to my leftovers. JV is back on the market and complaining that every chick I introduce him to tries to make him buy Gucci purses.- nik