She’s Triflin

May 5, 2014 Krusty, San Antonio 11

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik this nasty beaver morphed human is by far the WORST!!! She’s offered every guy and vmc a blowjob and fuks random guys in the park. She thinks she looks good when in reality she’s hideous #yuck I mean c’mon I’ve heard of adult acne but she’s 30+ with a major crater face! Nik I bet you wouldn’t touch her with a 10ft pole.



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Nancy White Is Fake

April 16, 2014 Krusty, Toronto 10

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Nancy white college Parks famous blow Job princess. Anyways Miss Nancy here thinks Shes tough sh*t but really isn’t.  Shes just a fat snitch and tries to pull the pregnant card so people Dont bang her out well Nancy your just obese so nice try. Anyways shes the nastiest fattest bitch ive ever known and lies.



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Such A Thug

March 3, 2014 Krusty, Vancouver 47

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, a picture is worth a million words. Just look at this trailer trash! He is defiantly not a winner, who goes around bragging about being in JUVENILE detention? Sounds like an after school program to me. Nickname sketch, can you guess why he’s called that!? TOTAL METHHEAD. Cody your a twat and nobody liked you. Stop banging 13 year old children and erring then high! People should beware of this wannabe. OH I heard he’s been sucking dicks lately too.



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Crazy Stripper

February 17, 2014 Krusty, Montreal 17

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik, here is Catherine Belair. I think you should post her up here because she is one of the most craziest stripper I’ve ever met.I first met her when I was drunk downtown on st. catherine street. She first approached me telling me how sexy I was and how she wants to take me home with her. Me being wasted not really being able to make a wise decision since all my friends ditched the drunk guy (me sadly), agreed to go with her. She brought me to her house and right away stripped me like a hungry beast she tore my polo I wanted to bust a nut so I jut went along with it. After I busted I woke up the next morning hung over listening to this dumb french broad cussing at me calling me a ni***r and how n***s wish they could be with her but she stays with her own kind or sum sh*t. She continued talking her bs as I realized this women is nutso and a complete racist as well as biopolar. So I left. Two weeks after I went to a bachelor party with my boys at a stripper to my surprise the same broad was there stripping . She right away came up to me saying how she missed me and shes sorry for getting me mad she misses my dick and all. I was like thinking this girl must be mad I just explained to her Im at my boys bachelor please continue your work and leave me alone.She then said F*** you ni***r and walked on. She gave one of my boys A dance and he had to push her off because he smelt terrible. we then continued to enjoy our selves with the others for the rest of the night. At the end she went to my other boy who is black with dreads as well telling him how she love to have sex with dreads He laugh and we continued on. Three days after I get a friend request from her and a message saying how she misses me. I obviously ignored this and continued youed with life. About a month later I found a nice girl I met through my moms church She’s really sweet I really like her we start going out everythings going good I was happyier than ever after a few weeks going out Catherine belair messages my girlfriend on facebook sounding dumber than ever since ses a french girl she cant write in english for the life of her horrible grammar but whatever thats not the point of this story. She wrote to my gf how I am scum and how she sucked my dick and stuff and suposibly I keep telling her I want her again which is total false info and how she feels she must tell her because she is a good women and doesn’t like cheating and how my gf should leave me so catherine can continue to be with me in peace. Which is nuts I only saw her twice in my life before i met my gf and she wants to ruin the best relationship I’ve ever had. Now I here single depressed while this crazy women is still messaging me even though I keep saying leave me alone. She keeps saying she’s obsessed with my dreads and kept one for good luck while i was sleeping she took it. I’m totally freaked out by this girl. I hope one day my ex can understand how crazy this woman really is and how everything she says is nuts. Everyone should watch out for her especially if you have dreads



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Tell That To Marylin Monroe

October 18, 2013 Denver, Krusty 17

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, her job at shotguns said she was to big for her job as a stripper there and she said tell that to Marylin Monroe ! Haha fair comparison right Nik? Young dumb and full of cum.

Marylin would have agreed.- nik



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Ironically He Just Won’t Go Away

August 1, 2013 Krusty, Scottsdale 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, count your blessings that you have not met this 20 year-old textbook piece of shit. His daily schedule involves: Shooting up her**n, trolling for aged 14-16 year old girls on Facebook to sexually harass, using the few friends he has for his own personal gain, and more often than not taking advantage of barely conscious/belligerently drunk females. If he is not picking up heroin.. He is using heroin alone in his room. A constant transgressor of forced blow-jobs, rape, and one-sided gropings, this twisted douche-bag has a well renowned reputation of sticking his dick into anything that is non-consensual and/or not fully aware. The rest of his plethora of disgusting sexual encounters involve, disease infested skanks, looking for a quick and easy lay. In addition to drd, he has also contracted: Ch***dia, and he***tis. Although he has grown past his consistent staring into his phone to check his hair, he now stares at his phone to figure out who he could use to obtain heroin. Why he has any friends is a question too difficult for even El Lord Jesús Cristo! If he considers you one of his friends be sure to look out for his overwhelming infatuations for every girl who even slightly makes eye contact with him, although he has no problem with fcking one of your ex girlfriends as soon as the week of the break up. Andrew treats everyone like shit, and manipulates the people around him to try to get everything he wants, from rides to go get with some girl from the internet, to money to get drugs since he blew his paycheck in 2-4 days on h*roin. He is a grade-a scumbag, and it doesn’t surprise me that every girl he has dated no longer talks to him. i have heared multiple stories about him forcing himself onto girls, and borderline raping them. the way he talks about women (of ANY AGE) is repulsive. “Her tits are huge. her ass is sooo hawt. this bitch is sooooo sexy. id fck her sooooo hard.” It never stops. the few times he found a girl stupid enough to date him, not only were they under age, but he cheated on them with other underage girls. this guy is a complete fcking pedobear. if you dont have a pssy, money, a car, or h*roin, he wants nothing to do with you. A shocking graduate of highschool (Desert Hills, what a joke) he is an absolute retard and has little to no idea what everyone thinks about him who has unfrtunately crossed paths with this loser. amounting to nothing since then, he lives at home with his mom wo he treats like shit, and spends every penny from his checks on h**oin. I had not a single second thought about cutting him from my life a couple years ago. he fucks over the people he calls his “bestfriends”, and then talks shit aout them all behind their backs. he is a total waste of human life, and has gone nowhere very fast. dont expect him to go ny higher. everybody in the valley should watch out for Andrew Archer, not just the ones in Gilbert.



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Think’s She’s A Vixen

July 26, 2013 Krusty, San Francisco 8

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik This ugly ass bitch thinks she’s hot shit. Claims she’s a vixen and that she’s a bartender who works at Hooters. She also claims that she can beat anyones ass and has been arrested supposedly. On top of that this grimey bitch doesn’t take showers and has claimed to be pregnant at least ten times and every time she conveniently had a “miscarriage”. Put this grimey bitch on blast. She’s sooo desperate to be twitter and instagram famous it’s pathetic. She needs to wear some damn clothes that’s not going to have her fat oozing out.

Those high shorts and spanx need to be lost.- nik



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Aborigine Tits

June 4, 2013 Krusty, Portland 23

THE DIRTY ARMY: O. . . MG Nik! I can’t believe this bitch hasn’t made it on The Dirty before now! I will gladly do the honors! This is Alexis Riley. Or as she fancies herself, Lexi, a pathetic attempt to make herself cuter by drawing attention away from her . . . everything. This bitch has been EVERYWHERE! We’re talking, she makes the term “town bicycle” look like a prude. In a town where anyone can be a stripper, no matter how nasty you are or how unskilled you are on the pole, Lexi has worked a few of the most low down places in town which, as far as she’s concerned, gives her celebrity status. How she got a job with her bubble hips smashed into too tight clothes I dont know. You don’t have to get close to realize she has acne that stretches over her entire body that she tries, to no avail, to cover up with pounds of make up. Amongst her ridiculous wardrobe which includes everything from Hot Topic and even animal tails, she often wears a half corset thing which does nothing but squeeze her back fat out the top and bottom. And how she became a stripper for a short period of time with her inside out smelly vagina lips, I can’t even fathom. And then there’s her aborigine tits she likes to put on display for everyone, like some floppy flat dinner plate made of under filled water balloons in tube socks, with her nasty ass titty stretch marks crawling up from her nips like not even they can stand being on something so nasty. Don’t even get me started. Either way, the Portland clubs were kind enough to stop forcing us to look at such an atrocity and not even they will hire this nasty throw away back. If her looks weren’t enough to make you go running, try to carry on a conversation with her. She is probably the dumbest person I’ve ever spoken with. I think she may have some mental impairment. This girl is actually proud to be a Juggalo. . . like proud! She’s that fcking stupid. She’s loud and embarrassing in public and I was happy the day I finally ditched her. She’s seeks attention in any way possible and if every face in the bar isnt turned towards her, she gets louder and more obnoxious till they are. No one’s impressed with her but her own self. Did I mention she actually expects you to pay for her drinks? This bitch is no Portland skank. She should be so lucky. She prowls only the most desperate of the white trash coke dealers in the charming outskirts of Gresham and Troutdale. She goes from one man to the next and even some women until she’s used them up and taken them for all their worth, periodically trying to real one in to take care of her forever and will not leave you alone even though she’ll fck anything that moves. Did I mention she has a kid. I’ve never seen it, but she likes to brag about what a great mother she is, though she’s never had custody and no one has seen this so called daughter. Good job mom. I’m sure you’ll be recieving your mother of the year award soon. I’m sure you make your daughter so proud. The sooner she realizes that she is good for nothing but her floppy stink hole, and not, like she thinks, for keeper material, the better. No one would punish themselves enough to actually keep this one around. Who in their right mind would want to bring this hot mess home to mom? Who would brag about dating a proud standing Juggalo? An X stripper not even good enough for Pirates Cove? How about a known whore? No one. That’s who. As her one, maybe 2 X husbands can tell you.

Ran outta mud eh.- nik



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