THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have a bone to pick with you. I have heard of TheDirty and your name plenty of times in the last two years I have attended OSU. Never have I seen your site and I have no clue who you were. So Thursday I read the OSU paper and saw a picture of you and was instantly attracted to you and wanted to sleep with you. My friends told me you were married so I had no chance, but I don’t listen very well. I came to Big Bar to party with you guys and soon as I got into your VIP section, I introduced my self to you and first thing you told me is how sexy I was and how you love my huge boobs. I was so confused because everyone was walking up and taking pictures with this short mexican guy and I didn’t get who he was or why no one was taking pictures with you but whatever I was having a good time. Partying was fun with you guys and once I kissed you, I asked you if you were married and you said “LOL, me? Never”. Long story short, I wake up in the morning and the douchebag that was in your room was calling you Scooby… I was so f*cking confused. But I didn’t care I just slept with a celebrity so I felt really special. I get back to my sorority and tell my girls what happened and then we googled your name and who I thought was Nik Richie was not. Everything made sense after that, I jumped on TheDirty and come to find out, I was hooking up with Scooby and not YOU. WTF, you guys think its funny to play with girls heads like that? Nothing was cool about it? The fact I was calling him Nik the whole time and he was responding… now it makes sense why douche JV and you (the short mexican guy) were pointing to Scooby and I and consistently laughing at us… because the Joke was on ME. I just want to tell you and your whole staff… F*CK YOU. What you did was not cool at all.
Scooby thanks you for helping him end his 8 year drought.- nik