THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Chicago has hit a new low as the Landan Twins aka Shomos made the cover of Time Out Chicago.

Glad to see Time Out Chicago supports drug use.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, so I was working backstage at the Spring Awakeningg Music Festival this past weekend, and who do I run into? Your favorite day-glow trend-setting Twins from the Chi. I saw a golden opportunity, so I walk up and say, “you two look ridiculous, come take a picture with my friend Sunny.” The picture speaks for itself, and I knew that you Nik, and the rest of the DA would get a kick out of this one.

Triple dose of Gay. The Shomos (short homos) need to die already.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, how is it that these two orange little trolls haven’t popped up on your site in a couple of years? These little munchkins are still running around the Chicago scene in there peacocking bright ass ugly ass clothes. I saw them weasel their way past the bathroom line at the Eddie Vedder show on Wed night, then they apparently got to meet EV (f*ckers)…they are glowing orange. What is going take to make them go away?

I think one of them is shrinking.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was lucky enough to snap this shot of the Landon losers at the pool last weekend. After noticing a girl sitting spread eagle from across the pool, these three creepishly made their way in their direction. Playing lifeguard with their whistle necklaces and matching watches, I had the pleasure of watching them fail with their pickup lines. Sipping on Mai Tais and letting their guts hang, I heard them say “Do you girls want some chips?” Needless to say, the girls promptly laughed in their faces. Keep trying, fellas.

I thought they were identical twins, why is one gut bigger than the other?- nik

**Rookies: Shomos stands for Short + Homos.