THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here is the hottest Alumni from Florida.  The girl is not only Asian but she has curves and a really sexy tan.  I had to get your opinion on her, I know you are not into Asian girls, but figured as hot as she is, she is worthy of changing your mind.

She does nothing for me. All Asian chicks look like this.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I’m seeing Ryan Lochte popping up at all the celeb functions, the last thing we need is him doing is any more interviews or being the image of America… not only is his IQ under 80 he also wears a grill, he is the definition of embarrassing. So I saw that he won best dressed at a Moet US Open party here in New York. Please people we need to stop feeding this guys ego, soon everybody will be wearing a grill.

He is our Forrest Gump.- nik

Also See: 

Ryan Lochte Is Embarrassingly Inarticulate

Gangster At Heart

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik Ryan Lochte is a gangster at heart, not a retard (like you stated).  Dude got a $25,000 grill made by paul wall for the olympics and then was banned from wearing it at the ceremony or wasn’t gunna be given his medal….that sh*t cra!! Dudes been sporting grills on the regular for years saying it shows his personallity…right…Anyway nik, this guy is an embarrassment to America, I’ll take good boy phelps over this douche any day.

White people who wear grills are RETARDED.- nik

Also See: Lochte Is Embarrassingly Inarticulate

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, it happened again Lawyer Mike has dropped his newest video for Mother’s Day in memory of his mother!  Nik, when the hell are these record labels going to wake up and give LM a record deal?

Lawyer Mike is the Kenny Powers of our generation.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, let me start off by saying that I have nothing too scandalous about Tebow. Since he has been getting a lot more attention I thought it would be funny to tell this story about his days at the University of Florida. He was kind of seeing a friend of mine named Jessica she told me about a time when he invited her to dinner at his parents house instead of going out for what may have been their first date. I’m not sure where they we’re in their relationship or anything but it wasn’t very far. We’ll while Jessica was at dinner with Tim and the parents his mother kept commenting about how Tim isn’t married yet. Keep in mind he was 21 or 22 at the time I’m not sure. His parents kept going on about the importance of marriage. We’ll Tim’s parents loved Jessica and they thought the dinner went well I guess. Jessica told Tim she just wanted to be friends. Tim then gave her this speech about god told his parents they should be together and how she is making this big mistake. Tim’s parents both called her and say that she is going to hell for not following gods plan. Can you believe that? Remember ladies when Tim invites you to dinner on your first date with his parents… Its pretty much a marriage interview.

Nothing against God, but he has Tim Teabow so brainwashed. It bugs the sh*t out of me how much Tim name drops God.- nik