THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this is Alex. He is the biggest loser in Fort Lauderdale. He has no friends b/c he is a real weirdo. He is soo creppy. I know a few girls that attempted to hook up with him and this guy has a Huge problem getting it up and keeping it hard! (TRUTH) You can find him on the beach with his GROSS hard nipples! EWW! Look at those things Nik, have you ever seen a guy with nipples like that?

He needs a nipple reduction stat.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Maya Simmons, before you send your pictures all over to OTHER PEOPLE’S BOYFRIENDS you should think twice. The first question I got from ALL who saw this was…How many kids does she have???…And consider this, try putting sheets on the bed and taking down the circulation fan next time you are TRYING to be sexy. You ARE the ugliest, dirtiest bitch I have ever seen. GROSS.

#@real life.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here is Chelsey Novak. She already got posted once but obviously who ever posted her does not know Chelsey very well. Chelsey Novak use to be a fat little cheerleader a few years back. Once her ex boyfriend Rex dumped her for being a dirty sloot she started throwing up everything she ate and started hitting the gym and then she got a boob job (which looks terrible). She worked as a shot girl at Brick in downtown Fort Lauderdale for a while where she would hit on every guy and promise them a “good time” when she got off work so that they would tip her more. She’s the biggest two face there is and she has no problem f*cking any of her friends over. She hits on all her friends boyfriends and tries to f*ck them but thank god most of these guys are smart and don’t.  She’s literally about 5 foot and thinks shes the hottest sh*t to walk this planet. CHELSEY, YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE STILL THAT FAT LITTLE GIRL THAT EVERYONE CALLED MS.PIGGY IN HIGH SCHOOL. Instead of getting TWO boob jobs that look like SH*T you should really invest in getting a new nose job because your nose seriously annoys everyone. You just always have this stank look on your face. You’re a groupie, bottle rat and a home wrecker. Stop going to the gym just to meet guys, everyone knows who you are and how nasty you are.

At least her legs still look the same.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Britney.  She works at my local club in Palm Beach, she is the hottest girl in the club and always getting hit on, but problem is if you don’t have cash or your not a Jersey Shore looking scum bag, she won’t hook up with you. How can I score this bar maid Nik?

Some chicks should never smile. You don’t want this girl, she bench presses way too much… her +2′s are being eaten by muscle.- nik