THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this here is Anita, I personally think she is the most amazing looking female I have seen, she has a very exotic look about her.  I truly do believe she has what it takes to be the nanny for Press.

Nope, I don’t want Press seeing her reflection from Anita’s forehead. The vanity aspect is not good for child growth.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ok, I have been so frustrated with the girls people have been submitting to you… I have to pray that they are self-submissions and not just blatant stupidity. I think I finally broke your code, or at least have come closer that anyone else in a while. This girl is everything you like, from the blonde hair, the nose, dream killer eyes, perfect +2′s and back dimples. So, Nik, did I find a yes?

Answer: Not really sold on the nose and she could lose about 5 more pounds. I do have to say this one is warmer than most. The lips look soft and the eyes look like they would go well with a nice glass of wine.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this chicks name is Rebeca Penteado.  She manages one of the gyms in the Hamptons, fyi Nik, we love you here, you know us rich people love GOSSIP.  She thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread and always talks about her big Brazilian booty.  She is trying to become a bikini model… do you think she has what it takes?

I have seen those fingers on an animal once.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Maggie. She’s literally obese, b*tchy, and LOVES little kids. All of her friends are 12-16 pretty much and she’s 22. It’s really weird and everyone makes fun of her because she has sex with kids because she can’t get with anyone her age. She also thinks she’s a “professional” photographer. No. Just no. Please put this thing on blast.

Her future will be pretending to be someone else online…she will also have red hair.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I would. So this is Shelley, she’s 5″2 and puerto rican. She’s really really sweet and has a big heart. :’) If not, please in detail tell me WHY you’d be so clueless as to not? She doesn’t photoshop and she gets her friend to take pictures for her to put on facebook.

Answer: No, her pig like nose and snaggly teeth make her unattractive.

(Click On Image To Enlarge)

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy Braden Hilton got married at 17, divorced at 18, and married again at 19, because he got the girl pregnant. He was married to the second girl, Jessica for a while and then cheated on her with her old friend Ali and got her pregnant too. Jessica is now pregnant with their second baby, so basically: he’s had two different wives and two baby mommas and he’s barely even 20. These people are so trashy, they are crazy! He claims he is in love with both of his baby mommas right now, I hope these kids get taken away!

I thought people in the Hamptons have money, why doesn’t his Dad just pay for these babies to be erased?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this fat giiRl is just nasstty her past hobbies involved having sex in back yards and behind buildings with random black thugs who she did not even know the name of- but all that is a secret SHH her current hobbies consist of screwing hillbillies, and tatted up wanna be white boy gangsters, getting hair extentions, changing her hair color every week, going to the tanning bed until her skin is as orange as an oompa loompa’s, badly photoshopping her pictures that no one in their right mind would want to see, and of course partying. Sadly this girl thinks that she is the ‘cats meow’.. She makes plans with nice girls, and then stands them up, and is over all just a disgusting human being with no morals.

She looks like John Travolta.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik She go by Moe Dollars. Her mother named her Natasha but really her mother should have just swallowed her. and down the line. She frequents your local hotel/motel to suck off old men for money. She’ll sleep with your man-and your father- hey, nad even ya grandfather. And dont tell her your name, most likely she’ll have it tattooed on her body in no given time. Keep your eyes open and ur dick in your pants….Good luck.

It must be really hard to tattoo on flab.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Tracy Anderson. She is known as a trainer to stars like Gwyneth Paltrow and supermodel Gisele and has numerous DVDs on the market. She claims her method of exercise can achieve perfection in any woman. She was also involved in numerous scandals ranging from being fired by Madonna, extramarital affairs, to scamming clients at a studio in Indiana before she started obtaining celebrity clients. While I applaud her efforts for trying to get people in shape, I think it is pretentious of her to claim her method of exercise can create perfection, hence implying her body is perfect. Do you think her body is perfect?

Besides the manly REFUND Gap, I am kind of worried about the little nudge sticking out in her lower region (first image).- nik

EMAIL FROM MICHAEL LOHAN: Nik, in further response to Sleazeball Konoski’s sopposed subpeona, any lawyer will tell you that in order to make the claims and demands he has, or file any motion requesting what he has, Erin would have to own copyright to the IMAGES. (and although he claims Erin does own copyright, she doesn’t). The person taking the pictures owns the copyright. In so much, now that Konoski is WRONG again, but still managed to get his name in the press, let’s see how much he cares knowing he lead to a sex tape being released by a person who owns the images, and has granted the right to do so. KONOSKI…U Are A PIECE OF GARBAGE AND You Are MAKING MATTERS WORSE FOR Erin and her family. Stop using this to get L ..Paid and you are disgusting name out there. Now the emails and hebience are going to be posted. Cease and Desist yourself butthead.

Mr. Kono Grill, I am pretty sure Mr. Lohan called you a Butthead. That is next level.- nik

Also See: Have You Ever Taken A Trip To The Hamptons

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