THE DIRTY ARMY: These two reality wannabes obviously love poles. I guess their reality careers didn’t take off as well as planned.

Who are they again?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik. Have you seen Hef’s new girlfriend Melissa Taylor? Hef refuses to say she is an official girl (my guess is he is embaressed of her) she says she lives in the playmate house, but I hear she lives in room #5 at the mansion.

Why would you want to live at the Mansion unless you hated having sex?  Dating Hef is the same thing as taking an act of celibacy.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, here are the same shims from before with the Real Housewives chick! The one I am attaching thinks she runs sh*t and is hanging out with Kellan Lutz from the movie Twilight!

This troll is such a Hamptons celeb chaser.  Let me guess… you are from Jersey?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: The best the Hamptons has to offer (Real Housewives of NY).

She is by far the grossest looking Housewife in the history of Housewives on Bravo.  The fame has really gotten to her fire freckles.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Rosario on the left,  really can’t figure this guy out. He went to ASU, now lives in Chinatown/Chelsea. Likes taking gay poses with his “friend” and loves making kissy faces. He claims he slept with a lot of girls, but I think he likes it in the pooper. What do you think?

Rosario, really? Talk about Forgy doomed from the get go.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, your favorite horse from Belmont is actually a really well-bred horse. You’ll also note that he has a great-grandmother named Gold Digger, and a great-great grandmother named Thong.

I am starting to fall in love with this Horse.- nik