THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I think it’s time to put an entire city on blast. To even call this spread our suburb an actual city is a travesty. It’s a place where being a top douche actually gets you status, fake friends, a used luxury car, lots of blow and a plethora of DRD’s. It’s time to officially claim Los Angeles as America’s DOUCHETOPIA.
Let’s let these hipsters, fakes and phonies now that we are all laughing at them. Being a name-dropper, sponging free drinks at clubs that are smaller than my bathroom, skipping out on paying for meals and crashing parties in the hills where you are not wanted and bogarting others weed is not real “status.” Wearing your sisters drainpipe jeans and a rock tee that you stole from a Good Will donation drop box is not “hip.” Nobody wants to see how low your v-neck tee can be cut or peep those stupid tattoos. Wash your hair and shave that stupid mustache, stupid.
Trying to do business with these fools is infuriating. They move so damn slow, what we call “West Coast Time” and trying to get one of these flakes to call you back on time is like pulling teeth. I always thought that LA was for people that couldn’t hack it in a real city. What are your thoughts Nik?
I think it’s time to put LA on notice. Maybe build a wall around this sub-par city to keep the douchiness from further spreading. Thoughts?
Only 1% of LA (Hollywood) is real, the other 99% are there for sexual purposes. I decided.- nik