11.04.09

Tobbie Busted

Posted in Chicago, Iowa

tobbiebusted

tobbiebusted

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl’s name is Tobbie W. She frequents the city of Chicago, but lives in Des Moines, Iowa. She is so messed up. She tells people she is a stockbroker for Morgan Stanley when she is just a secretary with a corner office because she sucks her boss off nonstop. She once slept with her friend’s fiance’ when she was a bridesmaid and never told her friend until after the wedding. She sleeps with married men, has had a 3some with another woman and her guy friend and has recently caused a divorce. Nik, would you hit this? PS She had a kid when she was 17… and has had over 200 partners since.

She sounds like a great human being.- nik


Nik Richie

09.22.09

Livin’ The Dream

Posted in Iowa

Livin' the Dream

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, caught this at the 808 the other night, guy’s name is Will Lem*on, basically thinks of himself as a Van Wilder, even though he got kicked out of his fraternity two years ago. At 24 is going on his sixth year of college and all he has to show for career prospects is being an assistant manager at 808, with the best gig being occasional bottle service. A picture says a thousand words, confirm he is for the gays. Put this douche on blast.

Dude… never graduate.  It is not worth.  Keep banging college chicks until you die.- nik


Nik Richie

09.22.09

Iowa Douchebag

Posted in Iowa

Iowa

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik this is Hiesty he is major D-bag and is a pathological liar. So in my mind, he is perfect for Iowa’s first DirtyCeleb. This guy tells girls he works on ground breaking research for cancer and that college coaches are in constant contact with him in case they need a back up kicker. What do you think?

I think that his jacket looks like its made from an airplane seat.- nik


Nik Richie

09.11.09

Crying Wolf

Posted in Iowa, The Dirty

l_d3423dd5233247a2ac22e14b9b6bfdcf-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Will somebody please sleep this girl already.  Nik she calls herself Wolf.  The poor thing depresses me when I see her around, can someone please stick it in her and put a smile on her face.

Any volunteers?  It is all the same on the inside.- nik


Nik Richie

08.28.09

SGM?

sgm?

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik,  real or fake? look at that butt juice before you decide.

Fake

Real SGM are not carpet munchers, nor do they have thunder thighs.- nik


Nik Richie

08.25.09

I Wonder…

Posted in Iowa

i wonder...

 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, what do you think the kids will look like?

It’s like a half eaten oreo.- nik


Nik Richie

08.20.09

Back To School

Back to School

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was thinking you should send out an official request to your army to begin sending in the dirt so we can see what this years freshman have to offer. Let College Season Begin???

Attention all college students, are you in a gay frat? Do you have a roommate who doesn’t shower? Do you know a new freshman who does the walk of shame as many times as they play “tonight is a good night”? The world needs to know and TheDirty.com is open for business. Studying is overrated… be my friend, it is cooler.- nik

Lets get a jump on College Season and Submit Your Dirt Here

If you don’t see your school just email me to add it.  Freshman 15 for life!


Nik Richie

08.13.09

Would You?

Posted in Iowa, Would You?

Would You?

Would You?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this chick has to be 20 on a scale up to 10… please tell me you would.

Answer: No, her nose is too close to her top lip, and she kind of resembles a gorilla.  


Nik Richie

08.04.09

Trashy Tattooed Tristi

dallas1-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Meet Tristi. She thinks she is gods gift to men. When in reality, she is just a nasty wh*re. She has been married ATLEAST 7 times that I know of. I have seen her lips tattooed on atleast 3 of her ex boyfriends. Claims to be a Suicide Girl and to have been a “model” for years. I’ve never known her to actually have a job yet she claims to be a band manager/promoter for large bands. To bad the closest she ever came to that was sleeping with the singer for a local small town band in IOWA. She is a total groupie and could possibly be a man! What do you think? She has horrible tattoos but makes sure to show them off in every picture.

She looks like a horse to me.  I don’t understand why everyone who gets tattoo’s automatically assumes they can play instruments?- nik


Nik Richie

07.16.09

The Burger Queen

bkmain

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I saw this lady cruising through the old BK Lounge on her fat person scooter and I just had to get your opinion on this. Too bad we got caught, she was so pissed at me!!

I think she is flipping you the BIRD.- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"