THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have a real treat for you. This born and raised Kansas girl is a real cupcake. Looks real sweet on the outside but will rot you inside out. Like a Kansas tornado, she’ll suck and blow everything in her path before destroying it. She calls everyone out for acting like they’re hot shit, but it takes a fake ass cow to know one. Caked in makeup, she goes to parties and is the first to throw up all over herself, but goes to work and gossips and calls everyone a drug addict; even though her parents do drugs. What a mess. If you come to Kansas, consider yourself warned, Nik.