THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik My cousin is friends with this chick named Emma Str*. She lives in the United Kingdom and I swear she thinks she’s all that. She’s about 45 years old and she’s trying to get with my 19 year old cousin. She should find someone her own age! She’s also always going to the club to meet younger people so she can fit in and feel good about herself. Nik, would you with this cougar?

45 and still going to raves, she is triple the age of most of the people there…she also forgot to apply her Mac force-field around her eyes.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I was driving through San Diego the other week and I saw this. Looks like not only is Frog’s protein powder sweeping through Europe and taking the world by storm, he is also opening Gyms throughout California. And I thought he was only investing in Canada?! This dude is so into himself he even puts his picture right next to the logo on the sign. Must be tough watching all his success nik! lol.

I’m sure it’s an underground steroid factory.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, just wanted to keep you up to date with my friend Cheryl Cole.  Not sure if you know but she has been going through a divorce with Ashley since he can’t keep his d*ck in his pants.  Anyway believe me or not, Cheryl and I have a mutual friend she was telling me how when Cheryl found her self on your site she was pissed off but did mention she liked a man who isn’t afraid to be blunt and say whats on your mind.  Not sure if your single nik, but I could put in the good word and see if we can set anything up?  Let me know here is my email address xoEliz*******@yahoo.co.uk.

If she ever comes to the states she can look me up.  After seeing her ghetto tattoos I kind of got over her.  Sorry Cheryl.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I heard you on the radio yesterday!  I was so stoked DA Strong!  It made my drive to work awesome being a huge fan of your website and addicted to your voice SO HOT!  Anyway like probably everyone who listen to Kiss FM they googled Rhian.  The girl they asked who had a crush on.  I thought it was random since even the DJ had no idea who you were talking about.  Thanks for spelling it and you are right she could be marriage potential if she had blue eyes and lost 5lbs.  I laughed when you said that!  luv you nik and here is some pics of your girl!

Yeah, she is the first chick I have been physically attracted to in a long time.  She has a lot of flaws, but I am banking on the English accent to get me through them.  For some reason I can see myself inside of her?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I saw that you said yes to Cheryl Cole and thought these pictures might change your mind pretty quickly. First of all she is a purple crayon lover, married to a black soccer player. Secondly, check out the nasty tats. Nik, what is your policy on sticking it in after a purple crayon?

I can always count on the DIRTY ARMY to set me straight.  She is beat (Stripper Tatts) with a soft body… what the hell was I thinking?  She is a scam with a dress on and I don’t stick it in after PC because I can’t feel anything… might as well sleep with air.- nik

Also See:  Britain’s Most Successful Brunette

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik just found out about ur site and have the perfect girl for you. her name is kelly.  she came to the states for vacation, I sleep with her and then she ignored me after that, and tried to embarrass me when I saw her and made out with some dude…she called me a creep and assh*le and would tell me when she sleeped with someone else on her vacation…She did a way more than one purple crayon guy, this is just the pictures of the guy she has slept with and me…Im the guy in the brown shirt hugging her, I don’t know why she would have it up but it says “eww worst night of my life” under it.

She banged out that stranger because of his chest sex appeal.  Not for nothing, but I think you are in love with this UK troll.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik In a last ditch attempt to find you a brunette this is Cheryl Cole pretty much Britains sweetheart, Member of the UK’s biggest girl band Girls Aloud and shes a judge on the X Factor, Simon Cowell’s version of American Idol over here. Its been in the news today that her footballer husband has been caught having a second affair. Would you?

Answer:  I would let her date me for a couple weeks and see if there is any chemistry.  We just got to work on the knee caps, but love is possible.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I heard you put girls in their place, knock em down a few notches.  Maybe you can help my friend Anna Mc** out, she thinks she is a big time model and smokes a lot of rope to pursue those dreams..She says she looks like jessica rabbit and asks everybody to see if they agree with her.  This girl is getting worse and worse by the day, adding another drink, another guy and another hit to her daily regimen.  Nik maybe you can help this girl out before its too late.

This girl is a 3.96672812 at best and that is being generous considering we can’t really see her teeth (Dentists are not invented yet in England).  Her face is super plump and her gut really concerns me.  Honestly, it is too late.  She needs to retire and put clothes on for the rest of her career.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik they say your the best…so tell me what is that on the right??  Most people who see this thing are stumped, it always makes an appearance somewhere and obviously draws a lot of attention..  I have noticed that it spends most of its time taking pictures with people (probably cause their dumbfounded as to what it is)  and when it is not pre-occupied its gazing into everyones eyes in its proximity…One time as it walked by me it stroked my chest with its fingers, single most disturbing moment in my life.

This is why I refuse to go across the pond.  Only in Manchester, UK will you find such garbage.  I am talking about the Guy Ritchie look a like.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, today I found this stunning picture of Frog. Where has he been. Rumor has it he is catchin a plane accross the pond to party with you in Newport. Where you going to be? BTW why does it look like he is hanging out at a FORGY playhouse.  Looks like frogs been hitting the juice pretty hard lately.

Those belts are killer… stoked to be home for Thanksgiving and Frog is more than welcome to hang.  Pumped to make my #1 Rank Alumni appearance at MVHS for the football game on Friday.  Let’s tailgate, who is with me?  Frog stay you!- nik