THE DIRTY ARMY: nik This is Hannah. I think she is naturally pretty without trying too hard. What do you think?
Answer: No, her eyebrows almost touch her eyelids.
THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik. I just wanted to submit British soap opera star Helen Flanagan and ask you your opinion. She recently had a nose job and looks practically perfect. Do you think she should get any other work done?
I don’t like her nose job, the doctor raised the tip of her nose too high which brings attention to her chipmunk mouth. Also, she needs a breast lift STAT!- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, found this drug using asian chick on instagram. Jus wanted to say about her #nomakeup #noedit is just bs. 3rf picture is not edited but 1st and 2nd looks the same with the wierd dolly glow. FRAUD! xD
No edit eh….why’s your chin invisible?- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, i was on tumblr a few days ago and i saw this girl and i can’t stop thinking about her! she is just so beyond pretty, im a girl, and if i could look like anyone it would be her. i was just wondering if anyone could tell me in the comments who this girl is. and im interested in knowing what you think of her as well.
She’s photoshop, which only lives in your dreams. You can see some major effort fixing the box shaped gap.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Meet Brandon R Wilson. The biggest creep on Social Media. He goes by BRW***. He spends countless hours trying to befriend pornstars and asking them to follow him. If they do he spends countless hours asking for their panties, for free and for them to give him bjs. He gets mad when they ask him to pay for signed Playboy magazines that he requests they acquire and mail to him. When he is blocked he will go after their friends, family and coworkers asking them to tell them that he loves them and begging for them to talk to her for him. He thinks he is really hot stuff, but if his advance are denied he calls people things like ‘yeast infected c-nts’. He will also ask them to purchase him things off his amazon wishlist, as he makes it known he does not want to work. Did I mention he is a virgin and asks every girl to be his first? This guys will not stop harassing and threatening, even when the police get involved. Those pics of him are only a small example of what he sends out to them on a regular basis! You have to check out this guys twitter account as I cant do the awfulness of it justice.
Guys like him don’t get any freebies.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m sure you heard the news this morning. Your manager Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement. Sad day for United fans. I had a feeling you flew out there for a reason.
I knew it was coming. Thank you Sir Alex for all your inspiration and glory.- nik
THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you traveled half away around the world to watch your sorry football team lose to Chelsea. I was cheering against you the whole time. Thank you David Luiz for your acting skills.
We are 20 time champions unlike Chelsea. The game didn’t matter for us.- nik