11.19.09

Nik You Should Date Danielle

Posted in Manhattan, The Dirty

Would you rock her world?

Would you rock her world?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Danielle Se*ra, a naturally pretty girl from new york who now resides in Fl. what do you think?

Hate to break it to you… not all of her is natural.  I must say though, something about those +2’s are making me ignore the nose.  Maybe it is because the old Hilton logo is perfect in that gap.- nik


Nik Richie

11.19.09

GUIDETTE

Posted in Manhattan

GUIDETTE

GUIDETTE

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl willingly calls herself GUIDETTE L- her real name is lindsay r*go. she thinks she is the most famous person on the internet and flaunts herself all the time claiming she is a dj and such.she even has two facebooks because she has too many friends. so would you with this italian princess? i dont understand how she isnt a dirty celeb by now, she already has the name.

She has two facebooks? That’s just pathetic, and she’s nothing special she looks like every other cheap meatball in Jersey.- nik


Nik Richie

11.18.09

The Vegetable Man

Posted in Manhattan, Miami

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Glenn J*hnson. He sells vegetables for a living and works with toothless crusty farmers. He grew up in Boca Raton and thinks he’s the sh*t. The reality he’s an old man still trying to act like he’s in college. He’s 28 and still lives with his brother. He wears eye cream, uses 4 different hair products to do his hair, wears tight pants, and way too much jewelry. These pics are from when he went to NYC to visit his sister. All I can say is he is the biggest slob I’ve ever seen. He just broke up with his gorgeous 22 year old blonde girlfriend an now thinks he’s a rockstar using a cranberry vase as his cup at the club. What a has been f*g. He’s also dancing with fat chicks with a lollipop in his mouth. He calls himself a badass but he wears a mouth guard to bed. He claimed to hang out with Taylor Swift while in NY..ya right. The best pic is of him spilling cranberry juice in chunkys hair.

I think you are in love with this guy or at least have a major crush on him.- nik


Nik Richie

11.17.09

No Comment

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I really don’t know what to say about this…sorry?? lol this creature is disgusting…but ya seriously I don’t know what to say, I’m sure you can figure it out by the pics.

Looks like a die-hard Jeffery Star fan.- nik


Nik Richie

11.17.09

Freaks On The Bus

Posted in Manhattan, New York

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I have the perfect new section for you..Freaks on the train.  Every single time I go on the subway I see the strangest people, wackos who look like they should be on the dirty.  For example this guy who looked like he was about 40 but still going through a teenage grunge hanging out by the graveyard phase.  I have seen guys talking sh*ts on the train, pissing, passed out, naked and just some wacky crazy sh*t.  The dirty is perfect for all the trash on the subways…

It’s times like these that make me thankful that I’m Nik Richie.- nik


Nik Richie

11.17.09

Negative 3

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Alright so Nik my buddy and I were having an arguement about who has hooked up with more and better looking women.  We were doing a point system one for hooking up and extra points for being hot…douchey I know but hey were dudes.  Anyways my buddy tells me about this one chick he took home and she didn’t even know where she was in the morning.  He was trying to remind me who she was and tell me she was a 2 pointer which equals someone hot, so he showed me this pic lol…I think I won.  What would you give her Nik (keep in mind I need her to be a -3 pointer in order to win).

Dude -50… she makes me want to boycott bread all together.  How did your boy even get that zipper down?- nik


Nik Richie

11.17.09

**Update** TheDirty Exclusive: Aaron Reid (L.A. Reid’s Son) EXPOSED!!!!!!!!

reid

THE DIRTY ARMY:  I want to stay anonymous, but i met Aaron Reid recently in Miami. He was cocky as hell, but i still agreed to have sex with him. After 10 minutes he was out and left me disappointed!!!!!!! So PLEASE put this asshole on BLASST!!!! Attached is a pic of his LITTLE wee wee hanging out his PJ’s!!!!

He has gained some major weight since his Super Sweet 16 on MTV… well sorry about the heart, but his Greg is 2.5 inches erect (no homo) so fat white chicks aren’t really missing anything.- nik

**Click on email to see my legal response**

aremail1

Jay-Z holla at your boy.  The real question is what would Universal Music Group share holders think of someone in business and legal affairs wasting time to help L.A. Reid’s son.  Last I checked Aaron Reid is not an employee of Def Jam and even if he is it is a waste of the share holders time and money.- nik

**FYI- I was trying to say orgasms not organisms… picked the wrong word on spell check.  My bad.


Nik Richie

11.12.09

NYC Would You?

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Jennifer St*o, the hottest thing to ever come out of NYC.  This girl has not one ounce of fat on her body, she has to of had the best doctor in the world do her boobs cause those things are perfect..Nik I’m excited to finally find you a yes…so would you??

Answer:  No, check out the bridge below her nostrils… that is definitely a Jersey nose.


Nik Richie

11.12.09

Total Poser

Posted in Manhattan

TOTAL POSER AND THEIF

TOTAL POSER AND THEIF

 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so this tool douchebag is Richard A*chmoody. He goes by a bunch of names like Fayden, Damien RocHeart (yeah really). He lives in Staten Island and is the biggest poser and creep you will EVER meet. HE claims he is a recording artist in the dance world, and he had one local NYC song that went nowhere. He says he is a producer and manager yet he can’t play a note and doesn’t know a thing. He uses other people’s talent and rides on their coat tails and passes it off as HIM, luring many young girls to blow him for their shot at fame. He also deals drugs and lives in a skanky basement apartment and is a WAITER at a staten island bar/grill. He steals and is a pathological liar. Nik, he even tried to f*ck a 16 year old girl by telling her she could go on tour with him. He was never on a tour, he was never anything. He is PSYCHO, violent, and beats his girlfriend and tells his friends she “likes” it. PLEASE put this ABSOLUTE LOSER WAITER POSER DRUG DEALING CON ARTIST ON BLAST! PLEASE!

Funny how much photoshop can change your age. Forgy Liar.- nik


Nik Richie

11.12.09

I Heard You Like Blondes

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, there is no way you can think this girl isn’t gorgeous!

Yeah, I like blondes, but I hate bull rings in noses.  I think it is so disgusting! It is -5 status… so this girl is a 0.6678423.- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"