THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Manhattan socialite Leslie Usherwood.  Yes, she is a very pretty girl but like most girls in Manhattan she has an ugly side.  She will do anything to be the most talked about girl, she is lucky and comes from money, so most of her life is shopping, vacationing and partying… what’s new right?  I wanted to get your opinion on her and do you think she is hot?

Anyone else notice that Socialite’s are not attractive. They just dress the part, but in real life they are average looking at best.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, not sure if you are aware, but here in Manhattan you have a ton of gay fans and love what you do.  Someone has to tell these b*tches the truth.  This here is Nabeel Minhaj, he is a very popular guy around NYC.  We all love him and a few nights ago we were talking about how if you Nik Richie were a gay man, you would totally look like Nabeel, which is a compliment by the way.  Xoxo love bug.

I always wondered what I would look like if I was Gay.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this ITG is getting out of control.  First off, I’ve read something about it on every website possible and not one time have I heard you being credited for this.  This is what I read the other day as the headline of another ITG article.

“The ITG is among the latest unhealthy fixations for the body-obsessed. A space between the inner thighs when standing with legs together has become an unhealthy form of ‘thinspiration’ for many teen girls. Eating disorder experts say that sites devoted to the trend provide a place for people with anorexia or bulimia to ‘hide out’ and postpone treatment.”

Nik, what you are doing for this country is great.  You should be considered a hero, because of you so many girls will grow up pretty and skinny, instead of letting themselves get fat and obese like most of this stupid country we live in.  Anyway, even they don’t give you credit, you seem not to be bothered and I like that.  We all know you started this.

It’s the New York Daily News, they never give credit to anyone.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, a buddy of mine emailed a few pictures of this beauty and I can’t take her off of my mind.  I’m pretty positive she is an African American supermodel that is Albino.  Something about her makes her so different and unique and that is what I think I love about her.  Wanted to see how you feel about this supermodel?

I feel nothing.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Chin-Chilla has totally hit the jackpot with Landry.  Not going to lie, it has been killing me since they got together.  A few months before they started dating, I was seeing Landry and a few other NY Knicks (not going to mention names).  Landry was such a sweetheart, he was a great person and trusted me… all the while, I would leave his place in the morning and go hook up with one of this married teammates before they would go to practice/game.  It came to a point where I had to choose one, the married one or Landry… at that point Landry was a nobody and barely making any money, so I decided to go with the married guy since he was going to leave his wife for me… Well, I totally f*cked up on that one.  The guy never left his wife and Landry got a fat 37 million dollar contract and Chin-Chilla.  And Chin-Chilla is having her baby in the same suite that Beyonce has, she totally made it in life…  I totally feel like I had the winning lottery ticket in my hand and lost it.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the worst mistake of my life.  You win Elaine.  You f*cking win.

Well if it makes you feel any better she lost in the first round to Brock’s Chick. Last March Madness Chin-Chilla got to the Final Four, but she was a model back then… not an almost basketball wife.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, won’t bore you with the details.  This is Valerie your typical model who claims she’s from Miami, New York, LA and all the other usual suspect places. She doesn’t have a real job and she’s never really booked a commercial paying gig… but she has all the finer things in life how is this possible that she is acquiring these things.

Valerie acquires everything in her life because of her +2′s, without them nobody would even care about her.- nik