Maui | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities

Is Hawaii Shannon A Lesbian

June 24, 2014 Honolulu, Las Vegas, Maui, The Dirty 178

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I met Shannon one night in Vegas and she blew me off. I tried giving her my number and she refused to take it. I know she is from Hawaii and most locals are gay. I’m assuming she is a lesbian. She is always going on vacations and rubbing up against this dark haired girl. I was wondering if anyone knows if they are dating? I’m a good looking guy and usually have no problem landing hispanic looking women. I drive a SL Mercedes and live in a 2 million dollar penthouse. What is the deal?

I think she is Hawaiian bro.- nik



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Jelli Okamura: Wailuku, Hawaii

May 29, 2014 Hawaii, Las Vegas, Maui 21

THE DIRTY ARMY: Jelli Okamura, or “Jelli Belly,” is the worst Hawaiian fatass of Maui. “She” went to Bob Miller Middle School in Henderson/Las Vegas, Nevada. Then, Baldwin High School in Wailuku, Hawaii on Maui. Sadly, this retarded Oriental has failed to grow up and continues to belittle people way above “her.” Really, why would a person like this think theyre superior to others when they can’t even take a single step without huffing and puffing? As far as gender, guy or girl? No one knows for sure! Those are some very masculine facial features, in my opinion. I can’t remember ever meeting someone so trashy, and her noodle smell makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know how she lives with herself and sleeps at night. Furthermore, I’m not sure how she can manage to look in the mirror without crying hysterically because it looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Hideous doesn’t even begin to describe her appearance since this bitch can’t survive without eating every second. If all of that wasn’t enough, she’s dumb beyond belief! You know that show, “A Thousand Ways to Die” that’s full of Darwin Award winners with no common sense? I strongly believe she’s stupid enough to make it on that show eventually due to her having no self-control with food at all. Fortunately, she would be doing society a huge favor in that case since she’s never contributed anything positive whatsoever. Would you bang this pathetic excuse for a human being, Nik?



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I Just Don’t Get It

April 24, 2014 Maui, The Dirty 179

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I saw this chick on Instagram and noticed she has a ton of followers, and literally thousands of guys commenting on how gorgeous she is. I like you am not a fan of tattoos or weird piercings, but even ignoring that (which is a little hard to do) I think this chick is cute, but by no means mind blowing. Not to mention what is she going to look like when she’s older. What’s your opinion? Am I missing something? Yes, the armpits are rusty and she needs to laser away the red rat on her side. Ugh!

I can’t tell which is worse, the sunflower or the diamond?- nik



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Missing Pregnant Woman

February 18, 2014 Maui 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Just hoping you would spread the word about a friend of mine that is almost 6 months pregnant and missing. Charli Scott was last seen on Sunday Feb. 9th by her ex boyfriend and the father of her unborn son. Her ex claims he called Charli for help when he got his truck stuck in a remote location on the east side of Maui. He says she picked him up and drove him to his truck, it took him 10 minutes to fix it and they left the area Charli following behind. He then says he lost sight of her on the way back to Haiku but didn’t think anything of it. Charli has not been seen since. Her dog who was with her the night she picked him up was found many miles away in the opposite direction unharmed. The day after Charli was reported missing, her 4runner was found at a local surf spot known as Jaws, flipped on its side and burnt to a crisp. A couple days later her clothes, blanket and shoes were found near a bay located miles away from her truck and where her dog were found. Nothing new has come up since. Basically Nik this girl’s family could use any help they can get. The Maui Police Department is not the most reliable and hasn’t really done much so far. Charli’s ex hasn’t even been named a suspect and he failed the lie detector test they gave him! Many people have been taking their time, money, and gas to help look for Charli and any donations would be a great help.



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I Don’t Get The Big Deal About Devin Brugman

November 12, 2013 Hollywood, Honolulu, Maui, Newport 19

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t get all the hype on this site about Devin Brugman.  Yes, the girl has some of the best natural boobs you will ever see, but her face is like a 3.4144 in my book.  Which makes her a 6.2256 total.  I have met her many times and she is cool, but when she isn’t wearing those glasses, the only direction you really want to look is towards her boobs because you are so disappointed in her face.  Thoughts on this Dirty Army?

She is below normal looking to me. All real rack.- nik



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What Is Devin Brugman’s Deal

November 4, 2013 Hollywood, Maui, Santa Monica, The Dirty 172

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I must know.  You had a post about this girl yesterday. Real or not her boobs are more than worth following. Anyway between all of the instagrams, tweets, tumbr for her personal and “bikini business” there is lots to see. Some of it is pretty casual and I don’t see pictures focused on red bottoms or 2K bags. On the other hand she is always jetting off to Miami, Mexico, Hawaii (shes from Hawaii so I guess this is ok). Last night she posted a pic getting on a PJ. It’s 3 girls. How does a self proclaimed full time college student do this much traveling?  Don’t tell me that “a bikini a day” is making her PJ level money. Is she dating a trout? Is she dating some young LA royalty? Is she just another escort/porta potty? While I’m at it is there a difference between an escort and a porta potty or is it simply one giant category? I feel like a regular escort who isn’t getting pooped on might deserve a little more respect.

Can someone tell me the cost in fuel to fly private from Hawaii to Miami? Because Target sells better swimsuits than the ones she is wearing.- nik

ALSO SEE:

Devin Brugman Has A Body Of A Goddess



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This Is How The Unemployed Tim Tebow Is Spending His “Free” Time

October 17, 2013 Dirty Athletes, Maui, The Dirty 36

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Tim Tebow is keeping in shape (in case an NFL team calls) by vacationing in Hawaii and getting oil rubdowns from his sister.  Nik, how long before he’s the new College Gameday guy like Jesse Palmer?

They wont let him be an analyst on TV because he drops Jesus bombs every sentence.- nik



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US Women’s Soccer Team Players Alex Morgan And Sydney Leroux

October 9, 2013 Dirty Athletes, Hawaii, Honolulu, Maui 17

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Alex Morgan (-2′s) and Sydney Leroux (+2′s) of the US Women’s National Soccer Team were recently walking on the beaches of Hawaii as fellow Soccer player Abby Wambach and her fiancee, Sarah Huffman were getting married there.  Nik, how many beers and shots would it take you to consider letting these girls handle the balls in your life?

I can’t talk about my true feelings here. I’m invited to a wedding Alex Morgan is in. So I have to be nice.



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