Maui | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 2

My Run In With Frank And His Wife

September 28, 2013 Maui, The Dirty 68

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, the confrontation my family and I had with the locals could not have been more dangerous. We were driving along the supposedly PUBLIC road to the supposedly PUBLIC attraction when we were flagged down by a friendly looking old man. However, looks can be deceiving.  He immiediately began screaming, cursing and yelling at us to “get off his land” (He was so riled up I could feel his spit hitting my face). We were trying to talk some sense to the beligerant old man when we noticed that there was a woman standing about 15 yards behind him holding a shotgun. He said “if you don’t leave now I will [...] kill you all”… That was about the end of the rope for me. He threatened my innocent family’s lives!?! This crazy guy and his wife need to be locked up! We went straight to the Hana police to report the incident (they were not in and no one answered the phone; guess they dont care)! The whole experience pretty much ruined what should have been an amazing day. The kids never stopped crying, wife never calmed down, etc.  One of Two things NEEDS to happen before someone gets MURDERED! If it is private land, the road needs to be officially closed off from public access (ie: gate, fence, etc.) Also, new guidebooks of the road to Hana must remove info about this location.  OR…If it is public land, the aggressive hostile locals need to accept the situation and deal with it! Specifically, to the crazy old pair who threatened the lives of my young defenseless family; I hope you rot in hell.

Looks like Uncle Frank needs to realize… without tourists being able to enjoy Maui, there is no Maui. Homeboy is not even Hawaiian.- nik

ALSO SEE:

The Road To Hana In Maui Is Extremely Dangerous, Beware Of Uncle Frank Trying To Kill Travelers



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The Road To Hana In Maui Is Extremely Dangerous, Beware Of Uncle Frank Trying To Kill Travelers

September 23, 2013 Maui, The Dirty 393

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, you need to spread the word on Uncle Frank. This man needs to be arrested for attempted murder. We visited Maui from our home on Oahu. I grew up on Maui and always swam at Blue Pool. It was one of my all time favorites. I took my fiancé for his birthday, this being the highlight of our trip. Instead of seeing the place I painted for him for his birthday, we were held against our will for over two hours. That awful slime Frank Oliveira (not a Hawaiian name-Portuguese) boxed us in our car with his truck before we could get out of there. We were trying to turn around to leave because there was a crazy man running at us on the road. It was “Uncle Frank” the fake Hawaiian. We tried to turn around….. But he obviously had planned and done this before. He got in his truck and came up behind to box us in. He had a shot gun. He threatened to kill us with his gun, etc….and held us there against our will. No cell phone reception by the way. This man has a criminal record and its just a matter of time before he kills someone…if he hasn’t already. Is that what’s needed for the corrupt Hana police to open their eyes? Hana police are worse than the Federali. We only got away finally because we apologized and talked him down from in our car for two hours, and I mentioned my family of lawyers. I don’t know if it helped that we are local. He followed us in his car after he finally let us go. Soooooo scary. This man should be behind bars. Don’t go there, or if u do, know self defense and be packing a gun. Blue pool is one of the most gorgeous places in the world, so I say, what a shame this Portuguese man is hiding it from us all.

Yeah, people who live in Hana are mean. Anybody else know this Frank guy?- nik



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MySpace Tom Is Not Dead

September 23, 2013 Hawaii, Maui, The Dirty 21

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, do you even remember who this guy is? Tom from a website called MySpace. Just wanted to let the world know he spends his days roaming around Hawaii taking gay pictures for Instagram (owned by Facebook).

So Tom became a professional photographer like everyone else on Instagram. Typical.- nik



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Claire Domerego, Put some Clothes On

July 15, 2013 Maui 3

THE DIRTY ARMY: Someone needs to tell Claire Domerego to put some clothes on – she does not have a body she should be showing off on social networks. This chick is about 25 procedures away from becoming a 4. Needs +2, an ITG, new nose, jaw-work, to get some sun, do some crunches and stop running around half naked and acting like she’s so hot/VIP at EDC. Once she gets some lipo, does some working out, gets a tan and some new +2s she might be a solid candidate for a head transplant – but until then she needs to put some fcking clothes on. No one wants to see your beaches whale ass running around Maui anymore.

She’ll never be gifted +2′s hanging around EDC festivals.- nik



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Shawn(a) C – Be Careful Maui

April 5, 2013 Maui, Would You? 8

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Shawn, now goes by Shawna. A recent transplant from califoria. Watch out people. (S)he is post op and will NOT tell you until after you’ve hooked up. Big druggie too, he*oin, m*th, meds, herb, you name it. Be careful with this one, and if you encounter and must for some reason sleep with a tranny, wrap it up she has herpes (and I\’m sure other things). Likes to pretend she’s a “model” and a “singer”. Nik, I know you don’t bat for the other team, but would you?

He’s trying to build himself a back story…I decided.- nik



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Size 13 Model

November 27, 2012 Hawaii, Maui 35

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I am seriously a bit distraught by what I have come across with this dirty. It claims to be a juggalo, or as I like to call them, a juggafailure. From what I know, these juggalos are very dirty individuals that have no jobs, no lives, they sit around and do drugs all day, they don’t shower or use deodorant and they have TERRIBLE grammar. Well this juggafailure here goes by the name Fatality Adynamia. That is her so called juggalo name but “it’s” real name is Rachel Ketterer. This thing lives in Flint, MI. She has her ugly face posted all over the place actually claiming to be a MODEL of all things. Mind you, she is about no taller then 5’2″, she is 29 years old, she has fat rolls all over the stomach area and arms, and she wears sizes in jeans ranging from 10 to 13 and shirts ranging from xl to 2xl. I almost forgot, her supposed “photographer” is none other then her very own fiance. Why anything would want to mate with this thing I don’t know and will never understand. Sadly, she is now claiming that she has photography company herself, which mind you I have seen the pictures. They are absolutely terrible. Regardless, could you please label this juggaskank failure a DIRTY so that the world can see just how disgusting this liar who “claims” to be a model really is. Prepare yourself for the images of her, they are very nauseating as she is very disgusting

Adding more hair doesn’t slim down you face, it makes you look more like a tranny.- nik



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Hambeast Juggahippo

November 27, 2012 Hawaii, Maui 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, hello. Ok here is one more of the juggalo failures that I feel I should report to you. This one definitely takes the cake, or should I say pie? She goes by the name Sherry “CherryPie” Burton. This big ol beast right here is from New York. What she is, I really do not know. She is a mixture of a lot. She is a juggalo “derp”, she is a hambeast, she is a whale, and she is a hippo. This “thing” right here is your typical 350lb, sweaty, smelly juggalette, which is a female juggalo. She thinks that it is ok to talk trash to other women and tell them they are fat and ugly. In my opinion, she has absolutely no room to say that to anyone at all. She lays claim to a lot of things that she is apparently lying about and I think that it is time to harpoon this whale right out of the water. Let’s get this hippo hambeast exposed for what it really is, and that is disgusting nasty TRASH.

I wonder if she fits in that chair…- nik



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I Thought Keisha Kimball Was Smarter Than Other Start Up Models

November 20, 2012 Hollywood, Maui, The Dirty 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so we all knew about Keisha and her going to Hawaii with some trout.  Well, we were actually wrong because its way worse than we thought.  She actually went to Maui with mega douche photographer Justin Price.  She went there with him for a photoshoot, but anyone that has been to Maui, knows that Maui is a couples island.  That is where you go with the wife, not the mistress to make love and look at the sunsets and things of that nature.  I really hope she doesn’t come back dating this douche.  I would be beyond disappointed.

Justin Price doesn’t date in exchange for pictures. He is a professional photographer who takes his insertion very seriously.- nik



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