THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so here is the hottest chick in Australia again… the one and only Kaysha Louise.  It seems like she definitely took your advice and stopped doing all her photoshoots with her jealous ass friend Imogen Lovell.  It is about time Kaysha dropped the dead weight and pursued her career like she should be.  She is a work of art and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for her.

She is the hotter friend. Kaysha, stay free and fly like a butterfly looking to poop on pretty flowers.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: What are your thoughts on Inna Shevchenko leader of ‘Femen’ (the topless Feminist protest group)?

Just a ploy for attention.  She wouldn’t be doing this is she could afford +2′s.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this might be the greatest invention ever made by man. Give it up to the Aussies!

Seems more like a genius move by Durex condoms to get on TheDirty.com- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, just thought I would give a little info on this. I was with her manager this past Saturday night and the reason he declined for your show was cause he honestly didn’t know what the site was so me being a DA strong guy I got into a 45 minute long discussion as to why TheDirty rules and why it would be a good move for her to go on. Try again. Now that he knows I’m sure he will go with it.

No, she is dead to me.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Geri Zuidema aka “Deenii Zee”. She is a Melbourne crystal meth addict who is obsessed with selfies and kik messenger which is where I met her. She gave me her mobile number one night and the next night she was sucking my greg. You’d think that her big lips would make her good at sucking Greg.  We had sex and and I could not climax. Talk about a dissapointment. What do you think Nik?

I tried that KIK app. It sucks.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I was browsing online for V-Day gifts for my boyfriend when I stumbled across who I’m pretty sure is Jessica Green modelling for Aussie lingerie company Triumph. I personally used to think she was pretty hot but I don’t think these pics are very flattering… shes looking pretty soft and a bit average. What do you think Nik? Any of these pics changing your mind?

Why are her boobs so small?- nik