Shelly’s Anal Blow-out

March 11, 2014 Melbourne, Sydney 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: This girl shelly Watson or shelly darlington has 4 kids to 4 different men, she is a stripper in adelaide. She will crawl up anyone’s arse just to have a toilet buddy, she is the biggest bogan you will meet, I mean you can pretty much tell from her masculine jawline and eye-brow ring. The super surprise is saved for when she bends over, which she insists of doing, her massive colossal veiny haemorrhoids which she completely, everyone can see it, just treat it already. She is incompetent of doing anything on her own and uses her best stripper charms and uses them to make everybody do everything for her, then when they refuse she turns on them.



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Plastic Surgery

March 11, 2014 Melbourne, Sydney 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: When do you know when to stop ?



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Do Not Adjust Your Computer Screens

March 11, 2014 Melbourne, The Dirty 32

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, do not adjust your computer screen. This is Anna and Lucy Decinque. These twins from Perth Western Australia have had $200,000 worth of plastic surgery to look exactly the same. They share everything including a job, car, bed and a boyfriend! They all sleep together in the same bed! They say they work as nurses but how did they afford all that surgery x2???

Can someone ask the boyfriend if they taste the same?- nik



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Does Every Girl With Trashy Tattoos Model

March 7, 2014 Melbourne, The Dirty 161

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across yet another Instagram “model”.  Why is it any girl covered in trashy tattoos thinks she can be a model? Also why are people so blinded by horribly done tattoos that they’ll make any trailer park insta famous without any regard to the quaility of the tattoos?! I blame social media for giving these trash bags even a glimmer of hope as real models. What do you say Nik?

I heard in Australia tattoos are considered high class. Models must have body art down under.- nik



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The Australian Embarrassment Brie Bentley

February 25, 2014 Melbourne 3

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Alyshia Lang a.k.a Brie Bentley, originally from Adelaide, Australia. This chick was heavily overweight and unpopular in high school and is the dumbest bitch you’ll ever meet. She is a regular drug user (which assisted in the weight loss) and can’t seem to understand how disgusting she truly is. Her attention whoring on Faceboook is becoming extremly boring and embarrassing. She constantly advertises her services (as if any man would touch her).  This girl needs a major reality check and I think you would be the perfect person to help her Nik.



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Does Renee Have +2s

February 17, 2014 Melbourne, The Dirty 19

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so you have named Renee Somerfield as having your ideal body but you have never touched on the subject… Are those +2′s real? Like to know what you think.

No, they are real.- nik



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Rhiannon Has The Eyes

February 6, 2014 Melbourne, The Dirty 22

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Rhiannon Langley, I follow her on Instagram and it seems Aussieland has all the hot girls… she’s sort of hippy-ish but has the most GORGEOUS eyes and rockin body with a great ITG….with all that, what do you have to say?

Those might be the eyes I’ve been searching for, definitely not the nose. Tell me more.- nik



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Talk About The Perfect +2s

January 21, 2014 Hollywood, Melbourne, The Dirty 51

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! DA strong for almost 3 years now! I follow this Aussie chick on IG and I think her +2′s are perfect! I know you’re gonna say she should have done the nose first, but are those not magnificent?? I’ve thinking about getting them done and I want them exactly like this. How many CC’s is that?? silicone/saline? You being the +2′s master, what do you ( or the DA) think? How does one achieve this look?

Looks like the left is 650 cc’s and the right is 700 cc’s. Does Aussie Nose have a name?- nik



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