THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, wanted to ask you what you think about Melbourne’s best kept secret Emily Sears.  She has no flaws and I really think she is very fitting for a man like you that demands only the best when it comes to women.  What do you think about her?  Is she perfect like we all think?

Stop trying to make me part of the investigation.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I am brand new to your website and I’m addicted.  I didn’t know people in Australia had such similar lives to you people in America.  I wanted to submit some girls and see what you think about them?  They are all “nail techs” basically that have tattoo’s, big fake boobs and are always taking some trips to random places.  I think they are hot and can rival any of the beat looking girls you guys have in America.

DirtyOz, welcome to potentially having Dirty Celebrities on TheDirty.com. Who are these girls… they are amazing. I want names!- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Kiwi Melissa Kate but now she lives her in Aussie land.  I have been in love with her since the day I met her.  She is actually good friends with my girlfriend and whenever we are around each other we are really friendly and super flirty.  Lately I have been thinking about her when I have sex with my girlfriend.  Is that weird or unusual?  Because I feel like I’m cheating on her everytime I do that.

Stop selling me on Australian chicks… they are not hot and have prisoner DNA.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: NIK! Put your dirty army to work, I cannot for the life of me find ANYTHING on this girl. No Facebook, twitter or instagram. I can’t believe something as beautiful as this is NOT on some social media site… She must be an attention whore. DA help me find the woman of my dreams.

All I see is a big nose and wrinkly pits.  You’re losing it mate.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, love TheDirty and you got a huge following here down under.  I totally forgot to submit this earlier when you first posted Sophie Peake.  She is a totally smoking hottie that everyone is frappin about down here.  The best part the girl is a stripper.  So she totally has the right to think she is hot as she is.  99% of her pictures are the same, her in her bathroom with barely any clothing on.  I want you to make her a DC, because we need one down here.

Gross, her belly button is cut like her cleavage.- nik

ALSO SEE: Is Sophie Hot As She Thinks

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, have you read the interview with your boy Kangaroid. Dude claims to have slept with over 1,000 Thai girls.  He claims he went to Pattaya for the sex, but then ended up staying for the steroids.  None the less, love how honest this guy is.  He is truly living the dream.  Click here to read full article.

You don’t just move your whole life to Pattaya for sex and steroids. Kangariods is running from something.- nik