Merlin | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities

GetRad Makes The First Move

September 15, 2010 Berlin, GetRad, Merlin, Scottsdale, The Dirty 7

[Merlin stop copying my style]

EMAIL FROM GETRAD: If you are in town, lets get a drink tonight, I leave tomorrow, would be rad to see you. later, G Rad.

GetRad, I am not ready to meet. Let your voyage in life be strong and when I am ready to ride the white horse on the great wall of China during the 4th night of the eclipse I will send you a note via pigeon. That is all my friend.- nik



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Seriously… I Thought This Was America

June 10, 2010 Merlin, Scottsdale, The Dirty 56

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik I see that Merlin is once again working at TheDirty.com, what happened to medical school??? I guess working for Ari has much more opportunities for the lil fella.  Seriously what could this sex predator need help with…remembering the names of the girls he banged out, keeping Ari’s sex sheet in order, or keeping his facebook/post comments updated?? Did Ari, the seasoned vet sex pred, realize that he needs an assistant to step his game up and start knocking out some 4′ and 5′s instead of the 2′s and 3′s he’s working with now.  Nik I really can’t understand what this is all about.   I remember what happened to the last assistant Ari had who racked over 100 hours a week and never made it into the office…could Merlin be performing the same servicing as she was??  Are JV and I not holding it down or something?? Nik let us know whats up… and is it just me or could these two be related.  Thanks…Gayden

If you haven’t noticed… there is a war going on in the office between Corpo and Creative here at TheDirty.com.  JV and Gayden are slave driving while Ari just sits on his Facebook all day asking his new assistant Merlin if these Facebook rants will get him bukakepottomus:

FB Rant 1:  2 girls from American Junkie wanted to c*m over last night, a sure thing n a not so sure thing. I challenged myself w/ the not so sure thing n she said “not on the 1st night”. So I got mad n kicked her out. Called the 2nd girl n we hooked up, in the middle of it I called the 1st girl (I bet she thought I was apologizing) When I heard her say hi instead of saying hi I just put the phone by my bed n let her listen to me rail it out. Bad?

FB Rant 2:  Guys, why would u ever call a girl a sl*t or a wh*re? R u a f*cking idiot! That is a girl using her talent (head & warm hole) 2 get what she needs (free dinner, free drinks, a date, attention). Don’t hate on a girl for that! U bring a girl home, try 2 f*ck her n if she does call her a sl*t? U will ruin it 4 the rest of us (esp me!), she will never want 2 do it again. If u get some action just be happy n keep it quiet!

FB Rant 3:  Vegas this weekend, any very well educated, successful, caring, tall, extremely hot nymphomaniacs going? Hopefully you are not too young and immature because I hate that. I am looking to have an intelligent conversation over some chardonnay and talk about our future together.

Now do you see why I say chicks that sleep with my agent have no soul.- nik



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Jimmy TheDirty.com Ultimate Stalker

April 22, 2010 Merlin, Seattle, The Dirty 42

Jimmy the Dirty.com ultimate Stalker

Jimmy the Dirty.com ultimate Stalker

Jimmy the Dirty.com ultimate Stalker

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, if you notice in the Seattle section there is a huge fight with “Jimmy VS Ric ” well, I wanted to send you all of these photos proving Jimmy finds girls from your website to hang out with and try to sleep with.  Allyson, you got her boobs in Arizona, Nickel a dirty Celeb, Pucker a dirty Celeb, Kina, a girl who slept with a dirty staff member and is always posted and Olga a girl who is always posted.  He screams creepy, and needs to ditch his grandmothers bejeweler for his handcrafted shirts – Ric for the win!

I hung out with Nickel for a bit in Las Vegas… she has become a professional Hustler and told me she is still in love with Medical Merlin.  As for this douche, it looks like he can’t live without a flatiron (FORGY).- nik



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The Dirty Merlin Has Done It

December 9, 2009 Merlin, Nickel, Scottsdale, Seattle, The Dirty 23

I just wanted to congratulate Merlin… all that hard work of stalking, brainwashing, phone sex, naked texts and saying “I love you” to Nickel has paid off.  He has officially conquered her with his EMO skills.  Live long and prosper at Hot Topic Merlin.

1merls

I inserted pink names to save their relationship from creepers.



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Merlin Is A Creeper Mystery

July 26, 2009 Merlin, Scottsdale, The Dirty 74

creepermerlin

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I made these undies about your wizard Merlin who works for you.  I think you should sell them.  He rolled up to me at Geisha A-Go Go one night and followed me all over Scottsdale until I broke down, but it was only because I thought he might hook me up with you one day.  He texts me all the time and always leave drunk msgs on my phone.  Anyway email me so I can send you the good pictures that Merlin wishes he could see.

Never going to email you… your body type does nothing for me.- nik



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Merlin Can’t Save Her This Time

July 24, 2009 Merlin, Nickel, Seattle, The Dirty 115

5pennyhead-copy

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I see you blast wh*re-able pictures of all the other dirty celebs, but you REFUSE to blast this one of Nickel. You have responded time after time that you don’t want to hear Merlin b*tch. Rumor has it Merlin is over this girl and boinking some scottsdale sleezy few nights a week. Man up to your balls, f*ck the immunity you have given this jobless wh*re, and post this this. Simple enough. Seattle needs to know how bad the acne and how long her 5head is. Dirty Army Strong, and won’t give up until you hit the submit button.

Merlin asked me on the drive to Vegas today what my favorite post of all time was on TheDirty.com.  I said, “Great question Forgy… not sure.”  Well Merlin, I think I found it.  Final Answer.- nik

**Nickel, do you think in the winter that thing freezes up?  I only ask because I got these wicked new ice skates and I want to break them in somewhere.



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Merlin Is Getting Hardcore Love Today

July 13, 2009 Merlin, Tennessee, The Dirty 30

THE DIRTY ARMY: My name is Wang and I want to tell you I am in love with Merlin.  When I am going down on a guy, I think about Merlin.  Merlin, I am going to f*ck you.

P.S. Nik here is my picture so you know I am hot like you.  I email Merlin all the time and he never responds, do you think you could give me his cell?

Wang, he is immune to your scent… email me directly and I will give you his number.  Your release will be so much better if you can hear his voice.  I decided.- nik



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Merlin Stalker

July 13, 2009 Arizona / UofA, ASU, Merlin, Scottsdale, Seattle, The Dirty 35

merlin04894

THE DIRTY ARMY: Merlin, your really hott and I have a crush on you. Your like that kind of hott where I am laying in bed About to sleep and I decide I have to email you  to let you know you make me think about you when im about to sleep naked. I mean I Am always naked – but this is intense. Merlin I am going to f*ck you.

Sorry Stalker… Merlin is for the Gays.  It’s not happening.- nik



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