11.20.09

Already Doomed

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Cassie Jo.  I am sure from the pics you can see that she has a mac forcefield, shes a sl*t, and a bit of an alcoholic (she carries around that flask everywhere she goes)…the best part about it is, she is only 18.  This girl can find any reason to sleep with a guy, he’s cute, he’s sweet, he’s nice, he’s hot, he’s strong, he’s really smart etc…Clearly she spends the whole day in front of the mirror, I don’t think I need to say more about that. She was dating a guy almost 10 years older then her when she was 15.  Nik this girl doomed..also why is she orange.

I look at her shark skin eyes and all I can think about is THIS VIDEO.- nik


Nik Richie

11.06.09

In Or Out?

Posted in Dallas, Michigan

In or Out?

In or Out?

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, This is John, a Michigan transplant here in Dallas. One of my friends meet him on a dating website. After a few dates, she thought that he just looked OLD (he is only 27 and has wrinkles, crow’s feet, and leathery skin from too many tanning beds). Come to find out, he is gay and only on dating websites to meet girls to pass off to his Socialite family! Nik, please out this little froggie! At 5′6, it wont be a surprise that he is bottom!

He looks Forgy to me, no doubt in my mind.- nik


Nik Richie

09.22.09

Nik, Do You Know This Guy?

Posted in Detroit, Michigan

Do you no this boy??

Do you no this boy??

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I’ve been talking to this guy online who goes by the name “Brett M*ron” from Holland/Grand Rapids MI, I’ve never met him and he claims to be your best friend from AZ when he went to school there. But I find it suspicious that he doesn’t have photos of the two of you and that he also happens to be “deaf” and he wont talk to anyone outside of the internet because he doesn’t have any “way” of communication outside that. But yet, I find it really hard to believe that he has NO way of communication, and can work at an insurance company, teach tennis and play blowing on his team without even a cell for texting. I just don’t no what to think and if he is real or not…Can the Dirty Army find out if this guy is legit and if anyone can recognize him!

Never met him in my life.- nik


Nik Richie

09.22.09

Gross

Posted in Detroit, Michigan

GROSS

GROSS

THE DIRTY ARMY: This girl flashes her sh*t all over East Lansing! Please put her on blast! GROSS.  ps: she posted these pictures

All she wanted for her birthday was a purple crayon.  And all he wanted was a chubby lil girl.  That girl is gross.-nik


Nik Richie

09.21.09

RackStar Engaged

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik, just wanted to let you know Rackstar is going to be off the market… she got engaged this weekend in San Diego. Do you think you’ll be invited to the wedding Nik? And how long do you think before the engagement is over or how long do you think the marriage will last?

Biggest mistake of her life.  It is not Fate, it is the lies he feeds you so he can sit on your chest.- nik


Nik Richie

09.09.09

Someone Needs To Learn How To Drink…

Posted in Detroit, Michigan

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I don’t know this guy but a friend of mine posted these on facebook. I thought I owed it to the DA to send them in. I’m assuming he lost the game of Edward 40 hands. Forgy none the less…

Edward 40 Hands is so lame… man the Midwest is boring.- nik


Nik Richie

09.01.09

Locker Room Fun

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this fruitcake is spencer.  This guy was, well is one of those douchebag  jocks who go arond bragging about every chick they have banged out or sit in the locker room comparing their muscles.  Sorry for the blurry pics Nik but they clearly show how gay this guy is, the girls he says he has been with; all a lie, they deny it.  I have seen him turn down girls to go after party with the guys and shotgun a few beers and whip out their funnel.  He tucks all his shirts in, wears a lot of pink, pampers himself and moisturized frequently throughout the day.  He has also sported wood while in the locker room, guys only lookerroom ofcourse. Ladies I wouldn’t even waste ur time with this guy, you won’t get any and he will say he slept with you, its a double negative.

Dude college is a time where you can be honest with yourself,  just come out of the closet already.- nik


Nik Richie

08.30.09

Pickin Up Mexicans

Posted in Michigan, The Dirty

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik its the new way to pick up mexicans for some work, drive by and see which ones make it on.  This way you ensure that you get the biggest and strongest ones, the ones who can enter a moving vehicle…

Red Bull gives you wings?- nik


Nik Richie

08.30.09

Coolest Brothers On Earth

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik you had some a post up yesterday called seniore guido with a douche named moses.  If you thought that guy was bad meet his brother Terry, Moses is training him well to be a slimy cheeseball.  This guy looks up to his older bro like he is a god and tries to do everything his brother does, even though his brother is actaully slightly retarded.  These two guys were known as the stupid kids growing up, this guys brother could barely form a sentence and they both did those special ed programs and sh*t like that.

They both have never ending jaw lines.  I have never seen a jaw line hit the temporal lobe like that… could be the reason they are ratards.- nik


Nik Richie

08.27.09

Stumps

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik can you please have a party here and bring some dirty girls. The only dirty girls we have are hideous fat and usually like multiple guys…All of which I am not cool with.

Her legs literally look like fat tree stumps. She would be the perfect person to take hunting because she would blend in with the forest.- nik


Nik Richie


 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

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+2 Factor: when a chick gets a boob job it increases her value two points on a ten point scale

+2's: fake boobs

30k Milli: a guy who claims he make millions, but really only make around $30k a year and spends all his money on stuff he can't afford; a poser

6 head (5 head): when a person has a enormous forehead (measured in inches)

Affliction: a brand of clothing worn by losers

Afro-Brow: hairy eyebrows

Air biscuit: fart

Anti-petite: no way near small

Aquaf*gs: underwater f*gs

Babushka: a big giant, Harlem Globetrotter-like afro, that explodes out of the panties of a Crabby Patty when panty security has been breached

Beak: Nose like a large bird

Beat: disgustingly ugly

Bissues: b*tch with issues

Blanimal: A black animal

Blast (putting someone on blast): putting someone in the spotlight and/or exposing them; talking crap about someone

Bucket Seats: nice ass

Butterface: everything looks good, but her face

Cadirack: not easy on the eyes, an eye sore

Caker: chick who wears way too much makeup

Cannibal: a lesbian. Because they eat their own kind

Car-Tastrophe: beat looking people in a car

Ceptor head: looks good except her head

Cheesecake: real fruity guy

Chubble: problems fat people cause.

Combustible Cougar: horny for young men

Combustible face: Hazardous look

Cougar in Training (Baby Cougar): a girl who will grow up to be a Cougar because her mom is one and/or she is starting to look and act like one

Cougars: women who are 40 or older who try to be 20 (by getting plastic surgery, wearing tons of makeup, dressing like they are 20, etc) and usually date or "prey" on younger men

Cougar-Troll: an ugly cougar

Cougarville: place where cougars come from

Cougarwood: place where famous cougars go

Cougrrrr: Very ugly cougar

Count gutula: big stomach

Crabby Patty: p*ssy

Crash test dummy: a dumb friend that you can convince to do anything

Dale Boy (Dales): a guy who claims to be straight but acts like he's gay (or really is just gay)

D-Bagalicious: sensational D-bag

D-Bag: Douche bag; someone who sucks at life; a total jerk

Dirty Army: the group of people who are fans of thedirty.com

Dirty Bird: dirty/sl*tty British chick

Don: a young female gold digger looking for a new wealthy father or sugar daddy

Douchetard: douche + retard

Drag Hag: someone who hangs with drag queens

DSL's: D*ck sucking lips

Dugout Driller: aggressive gay guy

Egg Roll(s): fat Asians

F*gadocious: super gay

F*gtastic: overly gay

F*gtician: professional f*gs

Fake SGM: people who are not in the Scissor Gang Mafia but pretend to be by giving the scissor gang sign in pictures (and NIk will point out the reason why they are not cool enough to be in it)

Fanny Pack's : beat girls that have no appeal

Farm: a person's ass

Fattastrophe: group of very fat people

Fifty cake mistake: big girl who loves cake

Fifty Yarder: only looks good from fifty yards away

File You Away: putting a hot guy/girl (whatever works for ya) in your mental hard drive so you can masturbate to them later

Flesbian: Fake lesbian

Forgy: Short for, "For the gays"

Frat Rat: a girl who loves to hang out with and/or screw guys in fraternities

Freetard: a free retard

Front Grill: teeth

F*ck Trophy: baby/kid..."What bout that chick you met at the club the other night, did you hit that?" "Naw she's got a f*ck trophy."

Fugly: f*cking ugly

FUPA: a fat upper pu**y area. Men can have it too.

Gaysian: a gay Asian.

Gestappo's : those who oppose the dirty army

Gills: side fat; love-handles

Grave Diggaz: dirty nails

Grazer: chick that likes to eat a lot

Green Bay: cellulite; cottage cheese

Gregalicious: Owns a greg

Greg-Juice: self explanatory

Greg: penis; tummy stick

Helmet Special: retard

Himstitute: tranny prostitute

Hoemerican: an American hoe

Horses (or any reference to a horse, stable, the derby, races or horse names): people with huge teeth and gums that resemble those of a horse

Insurgents: non SGM perpetrator/ enemies of the army

Jack Bauer: a person with a large fore head or a twenty forehead

Jay Leno: got a big chin

Kodiak: body of a bear

Lee push up bra: from the makers of lee press on nails

Long Head Clan: horse division ( horse head)

Lotto Baby: unknown father (a lot-of people hit that)

MAC Forcefield: tons and tons of makeup that looks clown-like

Mad Monkey: extremely drunk & out of control

Mick Jagger's : Big lips

Muffin Top: when a person's side or stomach fat bubbles over their waistband because their pants are too tight, forming the shape of a muffin

Multichin: multiple chins

Multi-Gregging: Gang bang on one chick

Nominee: person with no money

Nomo's: a place where no homo's are welcome

Noodles: referring to Asian people or descent

Nostrildahmus: Huge nose pipes

Onion: nice a$$

Oscar Myer: Got a Greg

Pack of franks: fat rolls on a chicks body..."Damn! look at the pack of franks on that chic"

Paki house/hut: liquor store

Patch Adams: balding

Pearl catcher: chicks who get c*mmed on

Pebbles: an attractive, yet underage and overly sexual young girl. (aka jailbait)

Pepperidge Farm: way too old

PGM ("Pinky Gang Mafia"): the rival gang of SGM whose members show their pinky finger when having a picture taken

Pickle Smoocher: rubs the Greg

Pig Fishing: guys who are out to just f*ck anything

Pirate: gay dude. Because they like semen on their poop deck

Poon lagoon: pu**y

Prop 8: gay person who wants to get married

Prosthetic Playa: fake wanna be player

Puffydumbbell: roid user

Purple Crayon: A black man's Gregr

Raisinets: ugly nipples

Red Cup Nation: those of us who agree that only red plastic cups should be used at parties (because all other colors are stupid)

Refund Gap: the huge gap between some women's fake boobs that is so big that they should get their money back from their doctor

Ronald Mcdonalds: High arching eyebrows

RVM: red vest mafia: Valet attendant

Sevenhead: means "Yes I ride the Short Bus!"

Sewerfront: Waterfront in Scottsdale

SGM ("Scissor Gang Mafia"): people who make a scissor/backward peace sign when having their picture taken

She-Boys: Trannys

Shim: a girl who looks like a man

Shimspital: hospital for shims

Shman: female type of man

Shopping Bags: droopy boob job or +2'S

Shotgun: a slutty chick. One cock and she's ready to blow

Shougar: a girl that is a cougar and a shim

Skankaholic: addicted to or being a skank; likes skanky chicks; an alcoholic skank

Ski Jumper: big or long nose

Slant F*cker: guy who only likes f*ckin asian chicks

Slim Slow Diet: a fat person who feels it necessary to show people her body..."Sick, see that fat girl in the bikini? Oh, she is feeling good about herself since she just got on the Slim Slow Diet."

Sloon: a chick that looks like she's mixed with snake lizard and baboon

Slug: Ugly slut

Snicker Licker: White girls who only like black guys

Soldier: a member of the Dirty Army; a fan/supporter of thedirty.com

Sorostitute: a girl in a sorority that is easier than a prostitute

Sphere Job: a boob job

Spongebob: a nasty female that has a crabby patty instead of a vagina

A Stallone: a really ugly Italian chick (or any chick for that matter)

Stay Puff: juice-muscular guy obviously on roids

Stretch Armstrong: face lift too tight

Sugar butt: a gay guy

Summer Teeth: some are here, some are there

Superhighway Gap: boobs miles apart

Synchronized Sucking : what aqua f*gs do

Talons: ugly toes

Tenderfoot: gay or feminine

Thunderstorm: extremely large thighs; thunder thighs

Too Fat Shakur:2-pac fat reference

Top Romin : a person that is broke

Tranimal: animal tranny

Tranny: a girl with so much makeup caked on her face that she looks like a transvestite

Tri-Tip: she can try the tip

Troff Feeder: an obese female

Trout: an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or "swim upstream"

Trout Mouth: looks like a fish

Tuna Factory: chick who has nasty lookin p*ssy lips..."That chicks gotta tuna factory goin on down there."

Unbeweavable: lots of weave

WNBA: a tall female who is manly

Would You?: means "would you screw this chick?"