THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m sick of hearing that MN girls are dogs! So not true. This girl named Lauren is completely and definitely Nanny material. She is sweet, wholesome, and beautiful. She deserves some positive attention. If you want more MN beauties you will post this. The question is Nik, would you?

Answer: No, I would never sleep with the help and even if I broke my rule she is way too soft in the stomach… you can tell she sucks in for every picture.

THE DIRTY ARMY: NIk, this little beauty is Jacobi Leckness AKA Jo-hoe-bi, the dirty Arby’s c*ke-wh*re of Rochester. When she’s not shoving all sorts of illicit drugs up her gigantic nose, she is on a mission trying to f*ck other girl’s boyfriends. Not only did she f*ck her boyfriend’s best friend, she ALSO f*cked her best friend’s boyfriend along with ruining countless other relationships. This 19 year old “hottie” enjoys finding men 26+ but beware boys she’ll lie to you about her age and her extracurricular activites until it’s too late. There is no doubt she is a dirty b*tch and needs to be put on blast.

She didn’t need a nose job before the drugs, its obviously swollen.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl thinks she is Gods gift to men?  For everyone that doesn’t know her, you are probably wondering why the hell she would be thinking that.  Well you can thank the Vikings practice squad, all those have and it’s very sad because that gives her the fuel to think she is super hot and everyone wants her.  I guess at the end of the day, she is happy, so can’t hate to much.

She is God’s gift to Blackmen.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I don’t know what you think about this girl… but I believe she is near perfect.  She has beautiful long hair, nice full lips, gorgeous, skinny legs, no refund gap and the perfect smile.  I truly melt when I think about her and my greg gets a nice tingly sensation.  Can you believe she is from Minnesota?

I know her well, she is not from Minnesota.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so on Saturday, Joe Mauer asked his girlfriend of 1 1/2 years to marry him. She of course, said yes. The soon-to-be Mrs. Mauer went to Cretin-Derham Hall High School with him. Apparently, they have been friends for about 7 years, but never dated in high school. They recently “rekindled their friendship a few years ago.” Maddie Bisanz, a nurse, is now the most hated girl in Minnesota. Joe Mauer has a 7-year contract worth $184 million. Please tell me this won’t last!

This is the best Joe Mauer can do? Not for nothing, but the nose and 22-head are very unique.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Chole is from Toronto the whole peace sign Kris is attempting is a total fraud his guilty conscious got the best of him so he tried to play it off what do you think Nik?

I think Kris is going to be banging so many b*tches now that he is rich from the Secret Contract (payout non-disclosure) he just signed.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, on my way to work this morning I was listening to one of the local radio morning shows and they were discussing their current hot chick of the day. Amanda Roadmen. People in Minnesota are being duped. Check out the website.

Hey 93X the girl Amanda Roadmen doesn’t exist. This is a fake person who stole another girls pictures. Wake-up and read TheDirty.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, alright, here’s Marissa, finally a Minnesotan worthy of Would You.. Sweet, smart, and in a long term relationship. so tell me nik whats wrong with this girl? WOULD YOU?!

She is not worthy of a “Would You”, but Minnesota should be proud that they have at least one normal looking girl. Someone tell Zuckerberg to put his shirt back on and tell his friend to relax on the sneaky fingers.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Megan Retzlaff, this chick constantly posts about herself every 5 mins on FB about how hot and sexy she supposedly is and that she is a public figure with her own FAN PAGE, blah, blah. Megan, and all you other women, a fan page is one where a FAN (not you) sets it up for YOU….not where YOU create YOUR OWN fan page…gimmie a freakin’ break. Nik, do your thing, but be careful she is well connected and admired, at least according to her bio: “Tekno Doll Swimwear Cover Girl/Model, NOS Promotion model, MAXIM’s Hometown Hotties 2011 contestant, Model for Ricekiller.com Calendar coming soon. Cookie: For Him Magazine ‘like’ Contest. “.

There is no such thing as “modeling” in Minnesota. Facebook makes people delusional.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Sameerah she’s your typical girl comes from the suburbs goes off to college meets some d1 athletes and turns into a complete wh*re, shes been f*cked by the whole ku football team and both the Morris twins who she also got pregnant by her first year at kansas but she lost it bc shes also a raging alcoholic… This girl gets out of control drunk every weekend thinks shes ghetto (keeping in mind shes from eden prairie minnesota!) and starts fights, I say both the twins because she didnt know which one was the father!! Now that shes in the ku calendar she walks around like her sh*t doesnt stink, Nik please put her on blast.

Is it true she got in the calendar by doing personal favors?- nik