THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Chris Stacey of Nashville, Smyrna, Murfreesboro. Chris is a 40 year old goober who thinks he is a professional softball player.. I thought chics played softball? Chris has a gorgeous sweet wife, until recently he was caught in Mickey D’s parking lot getting oral from a local scally. To make the situation worse, he was caught by his son! Chris takes steroids and uses a juiced bat in softball.. I guess to make up for having a tiny Greg.