Clinging to his 15 Minutes

September 19, 2013 Nashville 20

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey,Nik. This is failed boy bander Austin Clark (think pop/country Jonas Brothers).His band was first called The Clark Brothers and won the only season of the now cancelled American Idol spinoff Next Great American Band.They later changed their name to Sons of Sylvia and toured with Carrie Underwood a few years ago. But the band failed despite their cousin Ryan Tedder from One Republic writing music for them and a duet with Carrie. Nowadays he is a 30 yrs old driving a tour bus for a living trying desperately to cling to the fame that was dangled in front of him.He still keeps in contact with groupies he met on tour years ago as well as new girls he meets all over the country who fall for his sweet southern gentleman act and his talk of his “going places” in life(Fail). He is the son of a tent revival preacher and presents himself as a guy with wholesome values but in reality he is a sneaky liar who cheats on his GF and doesn’t care who he hurts or how many lives he affects and the faithful(I think) girlfriend is totally unaware. His job as a bus driver makes it easy for him to play girls in several states none of them aware that they are just one of many. He doesn’t care if they have a boyfriend or not.He needs several gullible girls to string along because likes to talk while he is on the road driving for hours and hours and skypesex (prob records it too)with them when he’s bored in hotels.If you’re talking to him BE WARNED you are NOT the only one who is! He plays girls all over Nashville and since he goes out of town so much sometimes he IS in town when he says he isn’t. Being around musicians here all the time I’d usually say more power to him but this pathetic pasty white loser with a freckled bodysuit and bee sting bitch tits needs to be put on blast for causing drama and break ups and why squander and opportunity to be Dirty Army Strong?

He’s still searching for his 15 minutes, getting a pic with Romney being part of the cleaning crew is not impressive.- nik



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Obsessed Dangerous Spy

September 19, 2013 Nashville, The Dirty 51

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I never thought I would post on here, but I need your help. This isn’t for me but a good friend of mine. Here’s the story, a guy friend of mine met a girl, I will name her name because she is psycho and deserves it. Nichole Bruner is her name, she dated my guy friend and she was a stage five clinger and just really out of control so he called it off. He then started talking to another girl who approached him-pictures are attached. She told him her name was Bryland Hemingway… that girl doesn’t exist. Last week he stopped hearing from her then he got a call from her “sister” saying she had been murdered by her ex. There are a lot of crazy details but long story short we have done some research there is no such person as Bryland Hemingway and the number she has was a Florida #(she said she was a traveling physical therapist) after he stopped hearing from “Bryalnd” Nichole text him out of nowhere after two months. We are almost certain she staged all this and had the girl pictured pursue My friend. Nik, we need the DA army to identify the real name of the girl in the picture. Also to warn people to stay away from Nichole Bruner of Tuscaloosa…she will date you for a week then try to move into your house.

Whatever happen to holding hands in the park and writing love letters… romance is lost.- nik



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Sommer Ratajczak Loves Purple Crayons

September 12, 2013 Nashville 17

THE DIRTY ARMY: Sommer Ratajczak living in Clarksville, Tennessee is the biggest DDR infested whore alive. She has made a lifetime career being a server at red lobster. She had been caught twice sucking a black crayon In the bathroom there. How she doesn’t get fired is simple. She’s servicing the married manager. I hate a cheater so the jokes on him, she has the DRdthat keeps on giving. Her poor ex finance Jacob was clueless for a long time until he came home early from a trip and found her getting banged by 2 guys. If you see this fat whale run!,,, she has been known to trade bjs for Pepsi. Also she has slept with the same men as her her mom and sister Tammy. All of this stems from serious daddy issues. Lets just hope no one tells her mom she was banging her moms boyfriend devin for 8 months of their relationship before he went on. Put this slore on blast. Talk about PP she let some guy drop a deuce on her lips for 150.00 true story. She is the one in white in first pic, fat girl on right in third bathing suit pic, that’s her and mother n last pic.



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Number One Trumpet

August 26, 2013 Nashville 3

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy right here will let you believe he has all this ass ton of money, cars, and connections to whatever fuking celebrity out there. He tries to impress people with the “my dad is a DOD GS-14″ or whatever. Who fcking cares. In reality, he is a fcking womanizer. He will fck anything walking. Or at least try too. He is probably out there spreading some disease. WHO THE FCK KNOWS. He is just another army toolbag that sucked so bad in real life he had to join a band of almost all idiots. He has be caught in many lies, about how he went to Africa and was in a war zone there, how he is blowing shit up where he is now, and probably trying to say that he has killed someone. When in REALITY, the first sign of anything, he was FCKING SCARED. That is the kind of soldier this fucktrumpet is. Ladies beware, he will use the fuk out of you. Oh, don’t let me forget to mention, he has fathered a baby. Has he ever seen it? No, I am pretty sure his family doesn’t know. He is trying to use that as a gain to live off of post. He is a FCKING IDIOT. One last thing. HE DOESN’T KNOW LUKE BRYAN AND FOR CHRIST SAKE, HE DRIVES A FCKING ALTIMA.

That smile is definitely for the gays.  I decided.- nik



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Ms King

August 26, 2013 Nashville, Would You? 6

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Erika King. She thinks every guy wants her and she falls in love with a new guy every month. She claims she wants to be a bikini competitor next year. She  loves attention so we should give it  to her

Answer: No, she shouda used something to cover-up her flap.



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How Bad Is Molly For You

August 8, 2013 Nashville, The Dirty 551

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, hey whats up? I was reading a post earlier about what other drugs you have done and I got interested. Because I smoke weed everyday and its never been a big deal cause its just weed. On occation I will do some ‘Cid cause that sh*ts just fun, but only like 4 times a year. I also refuse to have a drink. All my friends have been doing Pepsi for about a year now but I’ve never touched it. But then I went to Bonnaroo this year in Tennessee! The first two nights I was there I just got completely railed off some dank headies! But the third night I tried some Molly. And ever since to be honest with you I have been fiendin for it. But I still would not consider weed a drug. But Molly is honestly the funnest thing I have ever done. But what I wanted to know from you guys is, how bad for you is Molly?

Molly is bad, but I’d love to hear thoughts from drug addicts on Molly… please leave your love notes in the comment section on this post.- nik



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Jim Made Her This Way

July 26, 2013 Nashville, The Dirty 137

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Jim and Whitney Mongiat.  They are a Tennessee couple whose nasty argument went viral and are headed for divorce court. It all started when the couple of 15 months were headed on a weekend trip to the lake, when Jim had a change of heart about going. This set off Whitney’s temper, as she had an epic tantrum, and Jim got it all on camera.  I’ve been in the same shoes as this girl before and I know her husband egg’d this on.  Trust me, there is a ton before the video starts that we don’t see.  I have no doubt he pissed her off so bad and mad her crazy and then started recording.  I hope this loser gets what he deserves.

Poor Jim.- nik



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It’s Our Time – Lawyer Mike

July 23, 2013 Lawyer Mike, Nashville, The Dirty 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I went and checked out our old buddy Lawyer Mike and see if hes dropped any new hits.  Dude, hes blown up huge, mikes getting 100,000 views per vid almost 200,000 on this beaut.  If im not mistaken he’s banking off Youtube now.  I noticed you don’t have a thedirty.com anthem might I propose Lawyer Mike, dude’ll kill it.  I’m sure you could even pull off a green screen colabo…think about it, its his time!

I’d be honored if Lawyer Mike dropped a Dirty Anthem.- nik



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