THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Danielle Hatamian. She is well known in Nola for all the wrong reasons. She flaunts her stuff ALL OVER town and actually thinks it looks good! I have seen some big noses but this girl takes the cake— her nose actually HANGS OVER her top lip, LOL. She has gross streaky skunk hair/ extensions, HORRIBLE eyebrows, huge nose, cheap makeup, tacky clothes, and her boobs are saggier then a 90 yr old hookers. Not to mention the huge power vein down her forehead. She has cellulite all over and she lets it all hang out, its so nasty. She has so many life issues- including taking multiple pills and drugs and multiple personalities. Shes literally crazy. Shes a promo “model” and everyone knows they hire any desperate broke sk*nk. I feel sorry for her and want her to get her life together if she can. Dop you think theres any hope for this used up girl to get it together?

Danielle, a nose job and relocation (move to VanDirty) will change your life.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this pathological lying douche bag right here thinks he is a playa but the truth is, he’s a conniving, manipulating, self-centered, egotistical, broke b*tch. BUT as of yesterday, May 18,2012, he conned the woman that houses he and his children, into marrying him after she found out he was with his “other female” 3 days prior. Unfortunately, for his new wife, that ring, or lack there of, will not keep the notorious Two-toned Roca from wandering. This douche always has his next victim in arms reach hoping she will be naive enough to pay his way. So Roca, don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

Must be messing with a fat chick, that’s the only one who’s put up with his childish games.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik… So the wife and I were walking Bourbon St in New Orleans when we decided it was time for some more alcohol so we dipped off into this bar and this girl and her husband walked in behind us holding this baby… I was dumb founded and had to ask how old it was (being a dad myself) and. She responded HE is a WEEK AND A HALF OLD….. I WAS SPEECHLESS…. and just walked away.

They forgot to take out the other one.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Citizens of Metairie, BEWARE. Behold, Sam Oxendine. This nasty, criminal skalliwag has dragged her leach-*ss down to your parts. Originating in Northern Idaho, this beast is a top-notch pathological liar, an expert thief, a wh*re of the highest degree. She will steal your money, she will f*ck randoms on your couch or in your bed, she will permeate and poison your life in any way she can. She once stole over $100 from a charity yard sale and spent it on a stripper manicure, she recently talked her lonely friend into moving her to Louisiana, then proceeded to beat the shit out of the girl who helped her move and call the cops on HER. The friend had to move back home to Idaho to get away from Sam’s psychosis. She once bunked with her best friends for a few weeks, in that time she stole numerous pairs of underwear, also the friend’s vibrator to be used on her nasty bleeding gash by some guy she met at Pita Pit, then shoved it into the couch cushions for a roommates mother to find. I could go on and on about this infected vermin. Feel so awful for her family that they have to deal with and be related to this walking pile of puke and garbage.

The couch must be difficult, she carries a lot of weight.- nik

I will see you Gentlemen at Wet Republic.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, so… Jeremy Shockey got engaged on April 9th to the girl he cheated on with Emily Maynard while he was in Charlotte. The wedding is this weekend (May 19) in Miami. They are registered at Neimans and everything. She is a 23 year old who recently dropped out of the Fashion Institute in Miami. The bachelor party was on a party bus in Miami last weekend, and was pretty wild. Most of his friends aren’t supporting him. And even heard that they had a “misunderstanding” when it came to the pre nup.  Do you think its true love?

It wont work. Jeremy Shockey is making a huge mistake, just look at her knuckles.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, this is Shae and her mongaloid bf Lawrence! He thinks that she is faithful but she has be screwin my boy and he just tested positive for a DRD!!! This girl thinks shes a gift to mankind but she had two abortions already that her mom talked her into because she can barely take care of herself!! P.S.- Her ol man’s tattoo looks like someone pooed on his arm!

Keep the hat on bud.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this guy Anthony is totally a stage 5 clinger. He is constantly messaging me and another girl on facebook asking us to chill. He obviously doesn’t get the point that he’s like 50 years old, has crows feet and needs to stay out of the clubs. He thinks he his a Dj because he worked at few hole in the wall clubs. I mean really stop trying to hook up with girls on facebook its so lame! Plus the fact that DeeDee Macer@ is your ex is gross.

He looks like he is stuck in 2006.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl’s name is Michelle McClendon. She is PSYCHO! My friend liked one of her boyfriends status updates and she started stalking her and messagin her harassing messages. My friend hasn’t talked to the guy since middle school! lol The bad part is my friend messaged the guy and he said that the girl is crazy and obsessed with him! Who looks like the idiot now? She thinks she’s all that but she looks like a dirty hood rat! It’s obvious she’s jealous of my friend! Please girl get a life and quit stalking people on facebook!!! Do you think she’s cute Nik?

Crazy beat some might say….nice rug burn.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Corey TheCompulsiveCheater Barrett & Michael TheNastyB*tch Cavaliere. They are the nastiest guys I’ve ever met. They wouldn’t know what being faithful meant if it hit them in the face. But I’m here to talk about Corey (the one with the blunt in his mouth) follows everything his friends do, which they aren’t even his real friends. They are all fake as f*ck to each other. Corey always thinks he can fight when he knows damn well he got his *ss beat by Michael his so called ‘best friend’. He’s also on probation for bringing weed to school, what an idiot right? But yet he smokes all the time knowing he gets drug tested and he wonders why he isn’t going anywhere with his life. He’s a compulsive liar and acts like a female. He cries over every little thing possible and fcks with girls who have DRD!

They were fighting for couch rights.  I decided.- nik