The most common statements I have heard over the years:

Year 1: “This will never work.”

Year 2: “Someone is going to kill you.”

Year 3: “You are going to get AIDS.”

Year 4: “Can I be your friend?”

Year 5: “You made it.”

Come join me May 25th as we continue to make history.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this new layout looks OK at first glance but it is awkward (i’m on a desktop) the CAPTCHA thing has GOT to go! Captchas will make people not bother posting comments and the comments are what drive the fun and controversy… Brock Landers comments made the news and all the others from Canada to Nashville. Drop the captcha bro. PS Fire JV for being a douche-canoe The Barebacker.

I still can’t believe JV hooked up with that random fatty (the arms looked bigger in person). Yeah, the new format switch will have some bugs which we are trying to figure out. Dirty Army, please comment with notes and suggestions… Hack’s life is on the line right now.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, theres not much to say about this girl that pictures can’t explain themselves.  Low life OC girl who tries to act badass when she’s really a p*ssy and lets every girl and so called friends f*ck her ex which aka she probably is still in love with even though he treats her like sh*t and cheated on her for years… apparently she’s also turned into a stripper aka KITTY hahaha Miss. jserra catholic school girl has turned into a nasty attention grubbing wh*re running around with her friends and being the trash of the town……Christine Maggie Demi grow up.

Note to self: Never send my child to Jserra Catholic School.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, just some photos of the gap to brighten you and theDirty army’s day. BOOM! If that is not the best inner thigh gap, than I don’t know what is.

Who is the chick?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, stupid sl*t aka Julia Wolf… with and without makeup. Tell me what you think, Nik? Because if I woke up next to that, I would be highly disappointed in myself.

Why would you want to wake up next to that either way?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, tonight is CSUF’s annual “undie run”. Personally, I think this is just an excuse for sl*tty girls to have an excuse to run around in their underwear, and for creepy guys to look at them. Everybody says its a sober event but half the people are wasted the whole time. What are your thoughts on colleges having annual “undie runs”? These pictures are from last year’s run.

I think these events are pointless because chicks don’t even wear their real underwear.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I need a +2′s expert advice, so naturally I’m coming to you. My girlfriend is going to get a boob job in the next month or so and I want to steer her in the best direction. I’m not gonna submit her on the dirty, but she’s 5’7 weighs about 100-105lbs and has a good body frame. She’s over 18 but she’s not 21 yet, so I know there’s only certain materials and procedures she can do until she’s 21. Preferably she wants a big C low D. What should I tell her to get? Should she get it through the armpit, through the nipple? How many cc’s. Should she get silicone? Best doctors to go to in the OC area? Thanks for your help, put some pictures of Brock’s chick up for inspiration.

Email me Nik@TheDirty.com. You have to take this sh*t seriously because a hack job it will ruin your sex life and relationship.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! Meet Jennifer Viele’s latest victim Bryan Klemm! They’ve been together for a while and he’s totally whipped on her fish lips down below. Who raised her? Got any dirt on the situation?? Last week was her birthday, I am sure he got her something FAB to boost her confidence. The guy in the pic with her and PlayBoy slore Corinne Morrill is none other than RICH PALA!!! These girls sure do make their rounds!

She is not aging well at all. All of OC was obsessed with J-Veal back in the day… I had a feeling her high mileage would catch up with her.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Realsexibarbie posted this pic on Twitter the other night and I immediately thought of you. She posted this pic with the caption “Really want to get my lips done this big, what do you guys think?” Would a sane, mentally stable person really have to ask what others think of this? Do you ever wonder what chicks like this actually think when they look in the mirror? How can someone look at that and actually think it looks good? I just don’t get it. What on earth is going on in her head?

She needs to ask her doctor to reduce her dosage.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Hey Nik.  Wanted to do a follow up to the douchtards who hit my car and ran.  Saved the best picture for last, figured these felons deserved 2 posts–anyone know who they are???  This all coulda been avoided with a simple apology, who’d expect a ginger to storm off in a minivan.

That is going to be one ugly kid, hopefully he will have hops like Blake Griffin so people will ignore the cross-eyed ugliness.- nik

Also See: Hit and Run