THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, after what happened to me last night for the 7th time in the past 6 month… I have a theory and want to ask you what you think.  So I’m a good looking mid 20′s guy, I have no problem hooking up with chicks, especially all the 6′s and 7′s in Newport and Huntington Beach.  Its easy, and I’m single so why not right?  So in the past 6 or so months, I’ve slept with exactly 7 girls that have this mustache tattoo’d on their finger and they have all done the exact same thing to me in the bed…. and that is lick my asshole.  Every single one has done this too me. I had a huge problem the first time when the girl asked me and I was not down, but after a bunch of pepsi and getting bored… I was like f*ck it, if she wants to like my ass go for it.  I thought it was a little weird since no girl has asked me before.  So several weeks later, I’m banging another chick.. she is sucking my Greg and then all the sudden just goes to town on my ass… not till the 6th chick did I realize… they all have 1 thing in common… The damn mustache tattoo.  So finally I’m aware of it, last night this girl walks up to me and we start talking, taking shots and then she says something funny and puts up her finger and it hit me… this girl like to eat ass.  So I let her know my theory on it and she says… I guess you will find out tonight.  Well same damn tattoo and same result, her tongue all over my ass.   I wanted to ask the Dirty Army and you.. is this like some secret society that I have not been aware of?

Bro, are you from the Ice Age? Everyone knows what that tattoo stands for. That mustache is code for “I lick starfish, male or female.”. The whole cult started as an inside Lesbian thing back in the day.- nik

JUNIOR VARSITY:  Nik, we had all these big plans for the Superbowl and then you decided to move into your new house on Superbowl weekend, therefore leaving us stuck in SoCal watching the Superbowl.  This is what I got to do while watching you piss away 5K on the dumb ass bet you placed on the Patriots.  Anyway, Scooby needs to retire from the sport of Flip Cup.

Flip cup? What are you 12 years old?- nik

JUNIOR VARSITY: Nik, my phone has been going off all morning about how TMZ used me as a reference to describe Mitt Romney’s butchering of “America the Beautiful”.

It looks like plagiarism to me.- nik

SNIPER:  Messy hair, don’t care. Group of girls roll into Mutts, easy to spot out which ones got laid last night.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I have a question for you. Do you think that successful men are more likely to cheat on their spouses? Is there anything to do to stop that from happening? Thanks.

Yes, because successful mean buy objects.  The don’t treat females as people, they are sex toys.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was really skeptical about the Cellen stuff to begin with. Then I figured, what do I have to lose? I got 20 lbs above my ideal weight towards the end of summer (Beers, Burgers, Etc.). I wanted to ditch the excess, but didn’t have the time for the gym or any other workout. 27 days into Cellan and I was looking at my stomach today and realized how retarded it was of me not to start beginning of summer. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I have faith that by the time I’m done I’ll look like I did in ’06.

Everyone please keep submitting your Before and After images… love it.- nik

If you want to lose weight the lazy way like me or turn into a hot chick= CLICK HERE

**Click here to see my results and others successful weight loss.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, get a load of this TROUT, his name is TOM BOYER and he is married to his daughter! Seriously he is nearly 60 and she is in her 20′s. This guy hits on my girlfriend and I every time we walk by his crappy duplex he RENTS down in Newport. He acts all big and rich, but it turns out he is an electrician. What a joke! He is constantly inviting us in to do some lines, what a douchebag! At his age the c*ke will k*ll him if the viagra doesn’t first! His wife needs to grow up and find her self a new grandpa that actually has money!

His ‘Vans’ flannel shoulda given him away.  Only 30k’s wear those.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik, I saw this and had to post it on your site cause I believe that is the fate of all girls who read your site and take to heart everything that you say, mostly about needing plastic surgery, blonde hair, and perfect figures to be “beautiful”. Real Sexi Barbie posted a a picture of herself when she was a lot younger and a natural girl next door beauty. (first picture that is attached). Obviously she didn’t feel pretty enough (I blame society for this) and felt the need to transform into a Barbie sex doll. I feel your site promotes this very behavior among girls. Now that you have your own beautiful daughter I think this can be put more into perspective. What if your daughter grew up and wanted to look like this? Would you honestly be ok with that? And I am curious to your honest opinion about this. With a gun to your head, would you chose the before or the after?

She looks better now, but you can’t fix ugly sometimes. I am not a fan of excessive plastic surgery. Just fix the parts that men find attractive and move on in life.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Gretchen Rossi and Slade really live in Costa Mesa.  They probably don’t have enough money to afford to live in Newport. Lucky for me I am their next door neighbor and get to stare at her ugly baby blue car every day. About 3 weeks ago I even got to watch her drunkenly stumble out of the drivers seat with another ugly blonde.  Awesome.

I can’t wait until you download our iPhone Application so you can Sniper their asses.- nik

New Sniper Section Click Here

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’ve been wondering.  Now that you have a daughter of your own, how would you feel when your daughter gets older and got onto a site like this one?  With ppl bashing her and talking sh*t?  What would you do then?  Even tho I don’t believe any one should have to go through this. But I kinda hope something like this happens to your daughter so you can have a taste of your own medicine.  Have you ever wondered what she may think of you having a site like this?

“Site like this”, a website that has had over 100 million visitors last year. A website that has given a WAKE UP call to drug addicts and alcoholics. A website that has saved puppies. A website that found a dead student in the lake giving closure to his family. A website that preaches honesty. A website that believes in personal morals. A website that saved Ashton Kutcher’s life. A website that has an ARMY… I could go on. By the time Press gets older my website will be the norm and you will have bigger things to worry about.- nik