How Did Lauren Conrad Manage To Stay Sane

September 10, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 41

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, out of all the reality stars it seems like Lauren Conrad is one of the few that has actually made it in life.  She doesn’t have any mental issues, she works her ass off, doesn’t try and be famous and yet is super famous and look up upon by many young girls.

Don’t forget she had family money. Lauren didn’t have to chase like the others.- nik



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Stay Away From Mark Haderlein Farmers Insurance Agency

September 8, 2014 Dirty Business, Newport 10

mksadfsadTHE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I would not recommend taking advice from Mark Haderlein. I found out that I was over-paying 50%. Once I called to tell him that I felt cheated, he rushed me off the phone and literary hung up on me. Mark knew I was on to their unfair practices. My advice is to do your own research when looking for the cheapest insurance premiums or else you will over-pay in the same way I did. Thanks for ruining my life Mark Haderlein.



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Virginia To Cali

September 7, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 88

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Imren Miskinyar moved from Virginia to Cali to “better” her marriage. Welp, that failed, and now she is slutting around claiming she lives in Newport when she lives in Costa Mesa in a 1 bedroom apartment. She works at a workers compensation firm and really sucks at her job, but she claims to work as a paralegal in Newport. Everything out of this girls mouth is a lie. It’s become a huge joke. She wakes up with and comes to work looking like she got railed fifteen minutes prior. Watch out for this lying piece of crud. She has so many issues. Check our her instagram, bazillion photos of herself, all the hashtags are #lies.

Does she smell like noodles?- nik



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Nik, Please Help

September 6, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 169

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl is from Newport and I follow her on Instagram. I know nothing about her except her name is Giselle and I think she is perfect. Does anyone in the dirty army know anything about her? Please help me! I’m dying to know!!!

Screw this guy.  Nik, I don’t ask for much.  Just get me a date with this girl. –  JV

JV she is like 45 years old in the face. You don’t want this life.- nik



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I Wish Times Were Different

September 1, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 80

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, remember back in the day when people would “freak” at dances/concerts?  It was so easy to get laid back then, the music would come on and everyone would start dancing and getting crazy. You would be able to get the girls so wet by grinding your boner on them… it was easy.  Now you go see a DJ, no one is dancing together, you are just rolling your f*cking balls off and raising your hands bouncing in one place… and if you wanna get laid?  You better be able to pony up 500 bucks or be ready for a long night of poppin molly and trying to stay up the latest with a girl and then maybe, maybe you get laid.

Bottle service ruined everything. I would freak on chicks so hard back in the day.- nik



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Spanish Nanny Is A Fake

August 30, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 59

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THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, despite all the implants and surgery Spanish Nanny has, she even wears padding in her clothing? Look at the padding on her hip. Maybe some of her Johns can fork out some money for some more real implants under the skin?

She needs to stop getting work done to her body… Spanish Nanny let the plastic breathe a little.- nik



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Potential Sugar Mama For JV

August 29, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 97

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(Click here to Enlarge and read Email)

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I wanted to inquire about your employee Junior Varsity. I have been looking for a boytoy for a while, but cannot find one that is sexual enough to handle what I need or should I say what we need. I need a young man to take me to dinners, be with me for shopping sprees and traveling on vacations when needed, because my husband at times is doing the same with his mistress, so therefore I need company too. I’m 44, have a petite figure and really nice and perky fake boobs. I’m willing to pay JV an allowance of 2,000 per week, some weeks I need him 2 or 3 nights and sometimes I will not need his presence at all. But he has to be ok with 1 thing and 1 thing only. He has to be ok with my husband video taping and watching JV and I have sex. My husband is a voyeur and wants to watch me having sex with JV and getting off. He doesn’t sit in the same room as us, he will be in the next room watching us having sex through a camera feed we have set up in our sex room. If JV can handle me and is ok with my husband pleasing himself to us having sex… then please give him my contact and set up an interview. Thank you and hope he is the one.

Cool, let me ask him. He’s into weird sh*t so I don’t see this being a problem.- nik



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It’s Cheaper Than Dating

August 26, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 360

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m sure my fellow “Dirty Army” brothers in Newport and surrounding areas can agree on just how BAD the traditional dating scene has become. I’m tired of meeting uneducated, minimum wage earning “6-7′s” (who think they’re dimes) from broken homes with no hope, no future. I’m tired of risking my life driving to the heart of Costa Mesa to pick them up, feeding them a meal they can’t afford, and watching them talk with their mouths open. So where have I been finding “release”? Meet Nathasha Knightly aka Naughty Natasha! For a mere $200 (for 30 minutes), she will fulfill your every desire! I used to loathe those who pay for love but in reality, what’s the difference? We ALL pay for meals, drinks, movies! We drop $200 on gas, dinner and a movie and if we’re lucky, we get to second base? Why not be assured of a grand slam on the VERY first meeting? It’s much more “cost effective” and the girls are WAY better looking on Humaniplex than Javier’s!

Her body is real though.- nik



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