THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I read to story on your blog about “Coming Out Day” at high schools, and I felt the need to share my story. I was a 14 year old Freshman, I was very goofy but who isn’t at 14. I got picked on a lot and it really hurt. I ended up making friends with the “outcasts” and pretty much hated high school. We had “coming out day” and 2 kids I was friends with came out of the closet and all the sudden they went from getting picked on to being heroes. All that jocks that picked on them the week before, were high fiving them and inviting them to cool parties, while I kept on getting picked on. I saw how everyone treated the gay kids, so I decided my Sophmore year I would “come out” even though I wasn’t gay. I endured a lot more bullying but when I “came out” my sophomore year it was the best. Everyone that bullied me stopped and became my friend, everyone said I was so brave and so cool for admitting I was gay. I started hanging out with all the gay kids and the peer pressure got to me. I eventually ended up giving 3 blow jobs to senior guys even though I didn’t want to, but in my head blowing 3 guys was nothing compared to how lonely and bullied I was. To me it was worth it. My junior year I was sexually active and had sex with several other students, again, I didn’t want to but I was forced to, I didn’t wanna go back to eating lunch by myself and always staying at home because no one wanted to be my friend. During my senior year I really thought I was gay, I had a boyfriend. I had accepted it, I’m gay, I love me and I love penis but 2 years after high school, I’m so f*cked in the head. Everyone thinks I’m gay, but I’m not. I want to date girls in my town, but they all see me as their bestfriend and when I tell them I’m not gay, they tell me I’m confused. I just want to yell at them “No you stupid b*tch, I’m straight, I was gay so I could get through high school” at the end of the day, I would much rather have spent 4 years being irrelevant and picked on rather then where I am now. I don’t have gay bone in my body. So my take “Coming Out Day” should be banned from all schools, at 14 we are way too young to understand that concept.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. That takes a lot of courage.- nik
I Don’t Know How I Feel About “Coming Out Day”