How Do I Land A Girl Like Tiffany Toth

July 31, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 326

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I’m a regular guy.  I have a degree, I work 50 hours week and make 50k per year.  I drive a nice 2009 BMW 325, I have a great condo, I workout and don’t smoke cigarettes.  I’m in my early thirties and all I want to do is land a girl like Tiffany Toth.  She is my ideal SoCal blonde that I would die to find… but I can’t.  I haven’t had sex in years and I feel its because I have no money.  I spend every penny I have at Fig and Olive trying to court a girl, but they are always looking for men with money.  Is there any key to getting a woman that will love you for you?

You need to be smart about your game. Find girls in other states and import them. You aren’t going to be able to afford a real SoCal girl anyway so stop wasting your time and youth. You should have women on rotation and be doing pickups from John Wayne airport every two weeks.- nik



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How to get your car out of impound

July 30, 2014 Newport 78

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, meet Lauren Gioiello. Lauren is a lost soul who drinks and abuses to excess. She was arrested back in December for DUI (check her mugshot profile on the net) and had her car impounded. With no money and no idea how to pay to get her car OUT, Lauren needed a quick check. Any suggestions? I have one… PORN? Check her out on a “casting couch” site under the alias “CORA” taking on a MASSIVE purple CRAYON! lol!



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I Thought Navy SEALS Were Smarter

July 29, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 130

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Dip Sh*t FE posted this pic saying “LA girls blah blah from far away”. Well in his quest to always stay relevant and get his quota of likes he looks like an idiot. He is clearly over Newport and he is looking South towards San Diego so not sure how he can see LA anything. A sense of direction is pretty important in the SEAL world. He’s such a chick. Don’t get me wrong I would kill to have his money…. just would live a little more discreet …..

I don’t believe he was ever in the Navy Seal’s program. Someone please prove it.- nik



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Robin Needs To Get Her Life Together

July 29, 2014 Newport 9

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl has been going around Orange County pretending to be a damsel in distress, when she is really a good lying whore, that steals from her friends, family, and government with insurance fraud. She needs to be exposed. Please put this bitch on blast. Robbing whore of the hood … She only sleeps with buff tan older losers that do meth with her. She is in a hotel right now twisting the night away calling everyone in OC looking for a hand out.



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Kaysha Lawrence Has A UniBoob

July 28, 2014 Hollywood, Newport 4

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, you need to expose Kaysha Lawrence’s boob job. Her two breasts are glued to together. She does a good job of hiding her uniBoob but everyone knows.



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Leanna Bartlett Fakes Her Instagram Pictures

July 22, 2014 Las Vegas, Newport, The Dirty 11

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, a lot of girls have been doing this lately on Instagram. They make it seem like they have an ITG when they don’t.  I don’t get it, just get in the gym and work on it like the rest of us.

I follow this chick. She is really good with the airbrush tool on Adobe.- nik



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Beware Of This Douche

July 21, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 58

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this douche is Scott VanDeusen. He posts all day on pinterest (more than most girls), instagram, snapchat, and the Book. He is on every single hook-up app you could imagine (OKCupid, Tinder, POF, you name it). He is a cheating, lying, steroid-using, loser who thinks he is sooo hot, when in reality we all know he has cheated on every gf he has ever had. Even the ones he was “engaged” to. Sorry to disappoint you girls…but he has some trouble keeping his small greg hard! Girls in Newport, HB, Laguna…beware of this lying cheating scumbag before you’re next!

Scott don’t break your back bro, that chick is HEAVY. If I had to guess…152 lbs.- nik



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Mike Bibby, Not the Basketball Player

July 21, 2014 Anaheim, Newport 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik This guy calls himself Mike Bibby. Perfect example of a 30k millionaire burn out. Not only did he get his little brother smoking meth at age 15, he repeatedly dates junkies (one of which died and he started dating her friend). Maybe by posting this he’ll realize that by being 27 and addicted to drugs wo’t get you anywhere. Most people snap out of drug use if any after done being a teenager. This guy took it to a whole nother level. He thinks people are shapeshifters and “big brother” is watching him all the time. Before getting kicked out of his house, his little brother went on a rage and beat him in the head with a crowbar (definitely deserved it). After getting kicked out of his house, his mommy is now paying for a luxurious apartment off Ball Road in Anaheim (ya know, where all the tweek and h*roin and hookers are sold) for him and his fellow “baseball team” members can twist up the pipe. He is the epitome of El Toro Highschool graduates. Smoking mth and hanging out on Facebook for 16 hours at a time is NOT a career. Snap out of it and make your mother proud. Not that she cares obviously.



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