Make It Rain On Him And You Might Get Lucky

August 15, 2014 Houston, Newport, The Dirty 161

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this gay deserves to be called out who goes by the name of Rain Perez. You can find him on Instagram @RainPerez. His name alone gives off what I’m about to tell you. He is Houston’s most popular gay gold digger. He thinks everyone is jealous of him. You’re 19 years old, why do you have fake ass lips and botox like a Real Housewife? He doesn’t work or go to school but insists he’s a “trophy husband” and is constantly traveling back and forth between Houston, Los Angeles, and Miami. Hmmm, we all know what that means. Starting young… He’s linked with Nicolette Shea and Khloe “Scars” Terae. He would be nothing without his French sugar daddies. He dates all these foreign men because they’re the only ones dumb enough to fall for his bullsh*t. He’ll f*ck anything with money. Someone had to say this. No one is jealous of you.

His life is exactly what I want JV to do, but without the Gay parts. If there are any rich older women in the Newport Beach area looking for a late 20′s boy toy… Junior Varsity is ready.  Email me [email protected] so I can approve.- nik



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Paris Dylan Is Smart

August 13, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 72

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I don’t get why everyone is talking sh*t about by girl Paris.  She is a genius if you ask me.  While I go to school and most of our friends do, she is living the life, hanging out with rich people and getting paid for sex… I have sex all the time, but its for free, at least she is making money.  I live at home, she lives on her own and drives a dope car.  How can anyway say he is not smart?  2 years into to college and I feel like the dumb ass, thats what I get.. freshman 15 ruined any chance I ever had of being a working girl.

What a seedy looking motel/apartment complex. Is that her office?- nik



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Leanna Bartlett Was Not Happy With Me

August 12, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 75

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Leanna Bartlett has her booking email on IG and since she is not a paid model, I assumed the email was for hooking. I asked her about her hourly rates and she went ape sh*t on me and blah… Doesn’t she know why girls leave their emails on IG? How do you think I booked Chewy’s friend JoJo?

The only reason these women take selfies is to promote their ‘product’.- nik



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Kate Garfield Is The Photoshop Queen Of Instagram

August 8, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 45

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl Kate Garfield thinks she’s Ms. Erotica, who recently got fired from SlickForce Studio and is the Photoshop queen of Instagram. Her old boss Nick Saglimbeni found out that she’s been escorting on the side and had to fire her. Kate or Katherine been catfishing every guy she runs across on Instagram. She lures them in with her erotic stories claiming she’s sensual and she’s hot and they fly her out only to find out how disappointed they are. Nik, you should read some of the comments these guys leave on her Instagram @KatGarfield it’s HILARIOUS! She thinks she has some Hollywood friends just because they follow her back on Instagram. All her real friends are either super ugly or crazy like her. Kate also has a very dysfunctional family where her brother Samuel Garfield is a closet gay and her sister Johanna Garfield is a pothead lesbian. She claims to travel around the country but only to different parts of the states that her catfished “John’s” fly her out. The DA army needs to know about this fugly girl. I give her a solid 2.7362828.

Is that Instagram pic supposed to be sexy? I don’t see it.- nik



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Better Than Adderall

August 8, 2014 ASU, Chicago, Dallas, Hollywood, Las Vegas, Newport, Scottsdale, The Dirty, Vancouver 348

I have been testing this product for a while now and it is LIMITLESS. It is the first ever over the counter Adderall (I am not supposed to be saying that, but I have to be honest). This stuff is better than Addies because it doesn’t give you the cracked out meth feeling associated with Adderall. Anyway, to make a long story short… I am 2 for 2 in the advancing life products department. DON’T BUY ADDERALL ILLEGALLY. If you want to focus, here is the safe solution that is actually better for you. Half of the white kids at UCI are taking this stuff and they are kicking the Asians asses. Buy one bottle and if you have ADD/ADHD you will love it!! And for you college kids who are “entrepreneurs” I JUST MADE YOU RICH!

**Click here to buy over the counter Adderall**

FYI: This is my personal opinion and individual results may vary. I always advise you consult with your physician first.

**Now that I got the legal fun out of the way… Click here to buy over the counter Adderall.**

 



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How Do I Land A Girl Like Tiffany Toth

July 31, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 326

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I’m a regular guy.  I have a degree, I work 50 hours week and make 50k per year.  I drive a nice 2009 BMW 325, I have a great condo, I workout and don’t smoke cigarettes.  I’m in my early thirties and all I want to do is land a girl like Tiffany Toth.  She is my ideal SoCal blonde that I would die to find… but I can’t.  I haven’t had sex in years and I feel its because I have no money.  I spend every penny I have at Fig and Olive trying to court a girl, but they are always looking for men with money.  Is there any key to getting a woman that will love you for you?

You need to be smart about your game. Find girls in other states and import them. You aren’t going to be able to afford a real SoCal girl anyway so stop wasting your time and youth. You should have women on rotation and be doing pickups from John Wayne airport every two weeks.- nik



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How to get your car out of impound

July 30, 2014 Newport 78

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, meet Lauren Gioiello. Lauren is a lost soul who drinks and abuses to excess. She was arrested back in December for DUI (check her mugshot profile on the net) and had her car impounded. With no money and no idea how to pay to get her car OUT, Lauren needed a quick check. Any suggestions? I have one… PORN? Check her out on a “casting couch” site under the alias “CORA” taking on a MASSIVE purple CRAYON! lol!



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I Thought Navy SEALS Were Smarter

July 29, 2014 Newport, The Dirty 130

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Dip Sh*t FE posted this pic saying “LA girls blah blah from far away”. Well in his quest to always stay relevant and get his quota of likes he looks like an idiot. He is clearly over Newport and he is looking South towards San Diego so not sure how he can see LA anything. A sense of direction is pretty important in the SEAL world. He’s such a chick. Don’t get me wrong I would kill to have his money…. just would live a little more discreet …..

I don’t believe he was ever in the Navy Seal’s program. Someone please prove it.- nik



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