THE DIRTY ARMY: Ladies and gents, here’s an example of prime douche from Filthadelphia. He has horrendous spelling and some of the most atrocious grammar and preposterous run-on sentences for someone who claims to have an English major and a so-called Masters degree. He is also terrible at managing money; hence his self-described terrible credit score, and blowing all his money on booze and an overpriced apartment atop a sketchy presumed “cover business” instead of spending more of it on the daughter he hardly sees. Don’t expect him to provide the gentleman treatment of picking you up for dates, as he has no car. Furthermore, his complexion still resembles that of a hormonal teen and braces didn’t do nearly enough to correct his crooked teeth. But that’s not all, folks. Beneath the pseudo intellect and spacey teeth, we have a world class douche with raging immaturity, excessive drinking, and no concern for anyone but himself.Michael hails from the armpit ghetto of Kensington and is a wannabe Metropolitan hipster who THINKS he’s left his white trash roots behind. He drinks way too much gin, has terrible financial sense (Seriously, he purposely avoids buying an item if it’s on sale or can be discounted with a coupon?? Who does he think he’s trying to impress?), and likes to spam girls with random photos of his penis at late drunk hours of the night. If that isn’t enough to steer you in the other direction, he also has an alarming criminal record. He has a fiery temper and will stop at no level to make violent threats even if it’s in front of someone’s own children…hence his arrest for simple assault. Want proof? His criminal dockets are available online. Speaking of children, he has one of his own but can hardly be considered a true “parent” when his kid lives elsewhere 6 nights out of the week; thus freeing him to drink and party it up like a responsibility-free college student. He is a hypocrite who cries when custody court severely limits the time he spends with his daughter, yet he whines and pouts when people can’t hang out 24-7 at the drop of a hat due to having to care for their own kids. He sluts around unprotected and rumor has it that one of his recent exes has Hepatitis C.If that’s not enough, let it be known that he is a diehard racist and a chauvinist. He has directly called multiple friends of mine the n-word and condemns people for approving and/or participating in interracial dating. He has literally told me that he thinks all black girls smell bad and that their only benefits to him are their skills at giving head. Perhaps he is just jealous of what the black guys have “packing” down there LMAO. From what I’ve seen he also holds girls to sexist double standards and lacks respect for women beyond their bodies. Girls, if you are childless, then dating Michael M is a horrible idea because any money that doesn’t go to his alcohol binge will be siphoned to child support for the kid he doesn’t see enough. If you have kids and are seeking out a guy to possibly have a blended family with one day, you’re not going to find a compassionate family guy here. If you are just looking for sex, he puts out quite easily but make sure you ask him to see his most recent test results first. I say this only because he’s not one to always wrap it up in this day and age of incurable diseases.You can likely catch this loser at Dirty Franks, the M Room in Fishtown, or roaming around South Street. Bottom line, he’s a douche and better off avoided!
Why does it look like he’s sleeping on some dudes thigh..- nik