Portland | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities - Part 4

Dallas Heard

November 5, 2014 Portland 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik. Running for Oregon House of Representatives is the most awful man I know. His name is Dallas Heard and he is so far winning. I am not sure if this is the right platform for this, but I have to get these secrets out. When I was in high school I dated this man. He was in his early twenties. Long story short, he did these things: publicly monitored my weight, told me what to eat, what brands of clothing to wear, wouldnt let me be seen with him unless my makeup was applied heavily, told me he wanted to be a virgin until he got married but would FORCE me to kiss and touch him to give him an erection – and then go in the bathroom for a minute, come back out and tell me WE were so sinful. He made me use foul language because that too turned him on, he said. He told me homosexuals were horrible evil people, and I once saw him call a homosexual man out in church telling him he didn’t belong there (publicly during the class). The list goes on, but I have to say he is a horrible man, and though these seem petty, there are so many Oregonians voting for him when all hebis is a manipulative, judgemental man. I’m glad I escaped him after only a few months. His charisma is fooling everyone but not me.

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Monica Thot Banuelos

November 5, 2014 Eugene, Portland, Sacramento 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Monica Banuelos This thot of a mother is out in the bar every weekend with her ugly ass crew!! She has been around and it’s time someone called this skank out! She has the worst boob job I have ever seen and I feel bad for her son and her felon baby daddy! This girl runs through guys like crazy! She has the shape of a 13 year old boy those boobs need to be redone and her sleeping around is madness! She puts everyone on here so now karma is a bitch!

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Cheating Husband

November 4, 2014 Portland 11

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Simon is a loser husband who confined to lie to his wife about taking to other women behind herback. He soullessly just like a woman he cheated on her with on iInstagram (smokin_panda) on Instagram on the day of his wife’s brother’s wedding (freshmeximelt) when they were in California lettng his wife’s dad pay for his and his family’s entire trip.

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The Perfect Nose

November 4, 2014 Portland, The Dirty 81


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’ve been a big fan for years now and have began to see women through “Nik colored glasses”. Over the years I’ve developed an obsession with women’s noses and the standards I have for them become increasingly high. After this chick was posted awhile back I started following her on Instagram. Her nose quickly is moving to the top of my list. What do you think? I want to be sure I’m judging them harshly enough. Here is a straight on and side view.

Good female noses have small peanut shape nostrils, stay away from the circular nostrils. It just means they have picked their nose through childhood and the body adapted to the shape based on the width of their index finger.- nik

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Beaverton Sloot

November 3, 2014 Portland 2

THE DIRTY ARMY: She works at a car dealer in Beaverton. I hear she tips well if you buy a car from her. Not only is she a drug addicted slut, her teeth are so fcked up she could chew through concrete. She is a home wrecked and hides felons from the police as well. Just turned 21 and already wasted her life. The newest guy she was found with is a woman beater…nice catch Monika. She caught him and he caught something from her. Good thing jails have antibiotics to help a bro out!

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Look Out for Loah

October 26, 2014 Portland 34


THE DIRTY ARMY: nik This girl name is Loah rosales and she an extra big whore. She sleeps with everyone but seems to enjoy sleeping with people in relationships behind there partners back. She’ll then turn around and blame there partner or the guy she slept with, it’s never her fault. She also doesn’t believe in birth control so be extra careful. She lives in portland Oregon so make sure you don’t make friends with this girl she will sleep with your man to make herself feel pretty.

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Disgusting Loring

October 22, 2014 Portland 40



THE DIRTY ARMY: Christian Loring. This guy is a great example of why some people should not breed. He is ugly as shit, absolutely useless, pathetic & sad… yet somehow has developed this complex of being like an adonis and a gift to the world around him… that is, a fantasy world he has created for himself. He hasn’t had a job since he got canned from Aloft in March (it’s the end of October. Pathetic.), and somehow manages to survive by leeching off others. Just look at his tumblr and the ‘Donate’ button. These pictures speak for themselves. The guy is delusional, pathetic, and a terrible person. I’m pretty sure he’s also bi-polar… You’re almost 21, Christian. It is time to dislodge yourself from kiddie land and start acting like an adult with responsibilities. And in closing, I fully expect an onslaught of supporters telling me I’m bad, and mean, and wrong that are all hanging out with Christian in his fantasy world. Bring it. Just because 10…20…30…people might say/think something doesn’t mean they’re correct. Christian is trash.

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Worthless Greg

October 15, 2014 Eugene, Portland 29


THE DIRTY ARMY: Michael Smith is a worthless old man. He is pushing 40 now and has nothing to show for it but a young stupid girl and a bag of meth and maybe a few pills. He preys on young women i am not sure how he gets them considering he has a pot belling and seriously bad decaying tweeker teeth HE THREATENS females online with nothing to back up what he is saying, then blocks them like a bitch! He thinks he some kinda bad ass because he sells drugs. You can find him at local eugene high school looking for his next victim, oops i mean girlfriend. He is obsessive. He will text and call his girl every name in the book and then immediately text how much he loves her then send another text talking about “all the bitches he fcks” seriously a sick sad bi polar meth head pedophile. His only means of income is selling drugs and living off people. He is the definition of a scrub. He is always hanging out the passenger side of his friend ride…. Cuz he does’t drive and never has as long as i have known him nor has he every held a real job. He didn’t even take care of his kids. Don’t get me wrong kids get taken by dhs all the time and sometimes it isnt right but in this case it was and he didn’t do shit to get them back. Thank goodness tho because they are way better off without him. He will probably use girls and drugs and be a waste of human life until the day he dies. He will continue to beat his gfs and use them. I am not afraid of you!!! Come at me bro. YOU ARE AND WILL ALWAYS BE NOTHING.

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