Joey Malone Is Back In Portland

February 20, 2014 Portland, The Dirty 111 96,441 Views


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, so freak Joey Malone had moved to Hawaii. Me and the rest of Portland were thrilled to be rid of it. Tried to warn the great people of Hawaii that it was among them by posting him on the Honolulu Dirty, but now it has just recently moved back to Portland. No!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joey Malone is a boner killer, a puke inducer, trash talking disgusting pile of vile and vomit who things it’s (he) is the best thing in the world. Hardly. And Joey, you can’t claim to be androgynous. Androgynous means you can’t determine the sex of a person on sight. You’re VERY clearly a mis-guided GUY in women’s clothing. You still look horrible, your personality is still trash, and PDX is disgusted that you’ve returned. Nobody wants to see that sh*t. You don’t look good. You have no class. Your IQ is makes you a short bus contender. Nik, please post it up here again to warn the unsuspecting Portlanders of its return. I would hate for anyone to be blind-sided and unnecessarily scarred further.

He looks better as a chick.- nik

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King “Puss N Boots” Mario

February 19, 2014 Portland 64 6,840 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Apparently this bum has been saying I’m a snitch!!! We all know mario snitched on his friends years ago to get time sliced off his sentence, stop crying boi. Nobody likes your fake raps on fb, garbage lyrics. Mario you don’t even drive, how old are you now? Im sick of him saying how BAD he is, no car, no place of his own, no money, you got it mixed up because you doing BAD!!! LMFAO sumbody tell these scrubs to stop e-posing, must be something in their soap, he washed up like adrien broner between the ropes.

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Drunken Band Sloot

February 19, 2014 Portland 16 9,683 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: This chick, Christian Slover, is thick, but still pretty hot. Rumor is she’ll drunkenly fuck any dude in a shitty hardcore band, even with their girlfriend in a different room of te same house, but I think that’s just kind of badass.

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Something Smells Fishy

February 18, 2014 Portland 7 6,069 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, so theres this girl that I met at a party not too long ago. What first turned me onto the sight of this girl was her terrible red dye job, then came her annoying voice and all the bullshit she spewed all night. Now I keep seeing her at parties or trying to hang on all the dudes from Portland to Clackamas. Anyways, Ive seen her at a few more parties and when I actually got a chance to talk to her I couldn’t believe how screwy she I looked into it further added her on IG and she has 3 fuggin kids although I couldnt find a picture of her with all of them at once and from the looks of it at least 2 of them have different fathers. She wears awful outfits that look like they came from a flea market and walks around like her ish don’t stink. Honey with those knuckle tats you aint got no room to tell anyone ish! Working in a stockroom at Freddys doesn’t seem like youre ballin that hard Jamie. After a few minutes I had to get away from her. Her personality and physical self both reeked of cigs, cancerous! Stay away from this one, shes no good. Probably can find her on backpages. What can you say about this one Nik? Lost cause in my opinion.

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Gresham Phony Baller

February 17, 2014 Oregon, Portland 218 10,610 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is shady Yasin. He is the owner of a alnarah hookah lounge in gresham Oregon. This guys thinks h’s a baller, but in reality, he uses his brothers dealership cars to show off. If he were a true baller, he wouldn’t care about the price tag right? He is cheap, ALWAYS worries about how much something is or worries how much a contractor will charge him for a job at his lounge. That’s why he does everything himself, which is illegal since there needs to be paper work behind everything. If the police did an investigation on this convict, yes he was in prison for man slaughter AKA he killed someone during a street race, his lounge would shut down! He pays his employees under the table because he is too cheap to pay for their taxes. I heard he smokes weed in his office with female employees he wants to bang. He sexually harasses his female employees, even though he has a pregnant 20 year old girlfriend, and he is 28 btw. He has sex with a bunch of girls on the side and those girls know he has a prego GF, they do it because he pays them since he’s a baller. This guy needs to be put on blast! He uses people and then throws them away after he is done with them.

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Nancy Garcia is a Whack Job

February 14, 2014 Portland 21 5,607 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: I met Nancy in December of 2013 through POF. She seemed like an all together good catch. However, as time went on it became clear she was a complete and utter whack job. Where to begin? Well, she is about the worst bedroom experience I have ever had. She is not all that intelligent. Actually not intelligent at all. She talks non stop about taking a dump, and her daughter will blow gas like some dude. They have no class. None at all. She lives in a big house, but she is broke, so in that regard she is no catch either. At first I wondered why her ex husband ran off with a much younger woman. Well, i didn’t take me long to figure out that it was because her and her family are the weirdest bunch of people I have ever met. I mean like weirdo. The only redeeming quality about Nancy is her two boys. Back to her though. She is no good in bed. She is always dry and a piece of sandpaper. So dry that she ripped my pecker. She smells funny if you know what I mean and while her tits are real, they look like an old wore out pair of socks when not wearing a bra.. For the record she is one of the dumbest bitches I have ever met and I have met a lot. When things ended she sicked her brother on me and made all sorts of crazy threats. I ended up having to get a restraining order against this psycho bitch. Her daughter is way hotter than mommy, until she opens her mouth and speaks like a fluid idiot. You would be well advised to stay far far away from Nancy Garcia. If she doesn’t turn you off to women for the rest of your life I don’t know what will.

Floss.- nik

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Ahmed “Ed” Sheikhly

February 13, 2014 Portland 5 9,855 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ahmed “Ed” Sheikhly, of Portland Student Movers, is racist against Latinos, racist against Asians, hates Jews, hates Christians, hates Hindus, and compared our US troops to the Taliban saying”…they’re both animals as far as I’m concerned. Same shit different color as far as I’m concerned.” He also uses a fake facebook profile(several) under the name Sam Koury and goes on review sites of his business to give it good reviews under his fake name. I want the entire world to know what a horrible person this guy is.

A lot a talk for somebody who moves couches for a living.- nik

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Sadie Fancy King

February 12, 2014 Portland 19 10,727 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: This is Sadie “Fancy” King.. Or should we say Sadie McKrusty King. First of all we know she is a prostitue. She says she doesn’t do happy endings, and that she just gives “Massages”. Hahaha. She is a dumb bitch, she is a thief. She got TWO dudes names tattooed on her and seriously, one of the names is ON her pussy. She likes to get rode hard and get put away wet.. Second that, can she even get wet anymore? She has squirted her juices on so many dicks she probably ain’t got none anymore. She likes to get beat up by guys.. If you see the girl coming, get to running. She once told me that her pussy smelled weird, and she put perfume in her underwear to mask the odor of it haha, Seriously? This girl got daddy issues out the wazoo. FOR REAL. This girl has a severe coke and heroin problem too. Love you Say Say.

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