THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, when I came to UCSB 2 years ago, I was expecting to see the hottest sorority girls. Blonde, skinny, big tits, and for the most part that’s what I get every night. So imagine my surprise when I see this thing sporting Tri Delta wear, tryna slut it up like she’s a pornstar. There are a lot of ugly girls like her here, but this one takes the cake for being an absolute bitch to her sisters and anyone else that looks too long at her barrel waist and monkey face. Some of my guy friends say they would still hit it (after several dozen shots), so I guess I’m asking, would you with this sista?

Answer: No, noodles look odd with dimples, even more so when they look like they play soccer.

THE DIRTY ARMY: nIK this know hooker in Santa Barbara married that douche bag she’s in the picture with simply because he is the known guy to go to in town to get pills like Oxycontin etc. She’s always had a horrible rep. but whats fcked up is she has a child now to take care of yet at anytime of the day you can walk into her shack of a house and see her passed out on pills while her baby roams around freely. CPS needs to step in but the system is so slow god only know when they’ll even do a damn thing..

What does she do?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: MELISSA MIKO AKA DIRTYGIRL22 – IS A TRUE FCKING WHORE. SHE CAME TO SANTA BARBARA, MET ME, AND DECIDED TO USE ME FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING SHE COULD WHILE THE ENTIRE TIME WAS FCKING MY BROS. NOT ONCE DID SHE TRY TO GET A JOB. SHE TRIED TO BEFRIEND ALL MY BUDDIES GIRLFRIENDS JUST TO GET INFORMATION ON ME AND SHE HAS THE WORST BOOB JOB ON EARTH WHICH SHE GOT BY STEALING HER MOMMIES CREDIT CARDS!!! NEXT SHE’S GETTING A NOSE JOB AND THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PAY FOR IT! YEAH RIGHT SLUT! I LOVE HOW SHE SAYS SHE’S SOME MODEL WHEN I NEVER ONCE SAW HER GET A JOB AND ONLY BOUGHT A BIKE TO LOOK COOL TO ME AND NOW SHE HAS TATTOOS ALL OVER HER ARMS ONE OF WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HORSE BUT LOOKS LIKE A FCKED UP DOG. SHE IS AS DUMB AS SHE LOOKS AND FINALLY GOT THE HINT THAT NO ONE IN SANTA BARBARA GAVE A SHIT ABOUT HER SO SHE MOVED BACK WITH HER MOMMY IN CONNECTICUT. WORD TO THE WISE STAY AWAY FROM THIS TRAMP SHE’S A FUCKING NUT CASE THAT TRIED TO SAY I BEAT HER. MY FRIENDS ALL TRIED TO WORN ME BUT HEY I NEEDED SOMETHING TO FCK!!! SHE THINKS SHE’S A BIG TIME WEED DEALER TOO WHICH I FIND FUNNY SEEING THAT AS SOON AS SHE LEFT THE DEA CAME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR. I’M GETTING AN A**S TEST TOMORROW DUDE. PRAY FOR ME!!!

She’s too fond of her tweezers.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Kyla Trigueiro. She’s a freshman at UCSB, and yet has had sex with over 20 guys in the past month. My boy was so drunk he had sex with her, and ended up getting ch***dia. Be careful guys, this girl is definitely not one to fck, and has the fattest pssy ever.

I don’t think some guys will have a choice…she looks powerful.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl Ashley has became an obnoxious c*nt that seems to be doing more drugs than the usual sl*t can handle. She use to be a good girl with some morals that use to actually go to school, and now has seem to lost it. She goes around blowing dudes left and right, claiming them as their “F*CKS” for the night. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll get your chance at this penis flytrap. Rumor has it that shes been double teamed by a guy version of her and his friend. What class this E-tard has. Shes even been known to beg for ecstasy and will basically do anything for a roll. Gentlemen have at it, shes just going to be a great to add for stats and ladies don’t leave your man around her unless you want a threesome. Nik give me some advice on this little IV wh*re who seems to leave her squish mitten open for all, and how we should approach this girl if we see her on dp.

Baby voice but a big girl belly.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, DISRESPECTFUL TO WOMEN FIRST AND FOREMOST UNACCEPTABLE IF THIS GUY EVER GROWS UP HIS FULL TIME JOB WILL BE A WIFE BEATER. This Alcoholic douche is Such a p*ssy he gets into physical and verbal fights with girls at parties and wont even leave when he gets kicked out! Sexist maggot infested c*nt-rag who also gets bitch slapped by girls after calling them wh*res. Disrespects people and chicks in their own house and will not leave when he is kicked out. Almost gets his ass beat by dudes everywhere he is then once confronted by guys who finally step in to break the fight OR tell him the classic phrase; “lets take a walk outside buddy” soon after this he has the saddest pussy face of a f*cking hopeless selfish pig faced oinklet with big red eyes cause he’s f*cking scared… and yet this still doesn’t stop his obnoxious behavior of calling every one in his sight a wh*re a bitch etc…. to their face. everyone hates this dude hes the bad seed of every scene… the black sheep of the white crowd he clings onto girls who are passed out like a f*cking predator.. He had the nerve to scream at a girl while she was asleep in her own house at her own party in an effort to humiliate her calling her a wh*re and trying to lie that he f*cked her, what a narcissistic mother f*cker. He must have had his *ss beat by his mom growing up since he clearly resents all female beings anything with a pssy or vagina he absolutely hates women. He must be a true f*ggot and is just afraid to admit it. Arrogant c*cky drunk and even soberly retarded ~ this dudes got to f*cking leave isla vista already.

You know you can pay to lose your virginity…- nik