The Not So Innocent Alabama Boy

July 24, 2013 Santa Monica, UCLA 22

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ok so a couple weeks ago we went to this party and a whole shit fest went down. We met Alexander outside on the balcony and he seemed so innocent and sweet! He moved here from Alabama I think 2 years ago and had the cute accent that made us want to give him a hug. We were so wrong. Behind those innocent eyes and accent was a cruel intentions bitch. Ok so my friend who shall remain nameless might have made out with Alexander’s really good friends boyfriend a few weeks ago at EDC. Alexander’s friend Amanda apparently enlisted Alexander’s help to bring chaos to my friends life. Everyone already had the idea that my friends boyfriend might have experimented with guys in the past but no one had any proof. I thought he was just metro and sensitive. I was so wrong. As the night went on we all got pretty drunk. Alexander kept talking to my friends boyfriend but she told me they were bonding over scuba diving stories. next thing i know I am watching my friends boyfriend sticking his tongue down Alexander’s throat!! A full on make out session in the bathroom!!! My friend starts freaking out and screaming at her boyfriend and Alexander (I can’t repeat what she said). Thats when we all got the biggest shock! Alexander the gay slut smiles and looks at my friend and said ” Doesn’t feel good when your boyfriend makes out with someone else, does it? Best regards from Amanda.” He then calmly walks out and leaves with a friend laughing and screaming “Mission accomplished.” Karma is a bitch. I guess evil really does come in all forms.

I’m confused.- nik



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Should I Give Him His Freedom Back

May 9, 2013 Santa Monica, The Dirty 52

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I started visiting your site when I found out my husband cheated. Filled with rage and devastation I thought about posting the other woman but then decided against it. My issue should be first with my husband, plus I fear she could always find my pic on FB and post me and make up some sort of garbage. Their affair was almost a year ago and consisted of a few encounters over 1.5 months (or so he says). At the time of the affair our marriage was a mess. We were putting our work and children first, leaving no time for us and I denied him sex!  I was also travelling cross country for work. Since then we have completed marriage counselling, reconnected and been attached to the hip. I have completely striped my husband of any freedom and for the first time he has asked me if I minded him going out with the guys for a few drinks. I nearly lost my marbles. After the affair, this middle aged couple, have been going to bars together (having a blast btw) and I’m floored by the flirtation aimed toward my husband in my presences. The woman are always a lot younger and my insecurity gets the best of me especially since I’m pushing 40 (plus did I mention the other woman was 30?). I want to give him some of his freedom back because I’m afraid my obsession with controlling every moment of his life will ultimately drive him away. I’m a successful, stunning (I have been told) and loyal wife. I don’t want to get divorced. I know I could easily take care of myself but I’m afraid of not finding someone I love as much as my husband plus it seems men my age are looking for woman much younger. I could wind up alone. Do you think I’m being ridiculous to act like a jail warden? Or you think I’m just asking for trouble by letting him make his own choices? Do you believe once a cheater always cheater and then would you advise I move on? I’m asking you because you see the garage out there everyday and you know 40 is like the new 60! Curious what you think!

You sound like a paranoid controller. If this is what your marriage has become why do you have one? Don’t worry about the age thing. No man wants to die alone, we are easily replaced. But finding the right man to put up with your/women’s bullsh*t and still love you is almost impossible (hunt don’t settle). He doesn’t sound like that man. He sounds like someone who lives in guilt.- nik



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Oklahoma Trash in Venice

April 15, 2013 Oklahoma, Santa Monica 14

THE DIRTY ARMY: Meet Ashley Danielle Taylor or as she calls herself ever since she started doing porn- Belle Noire. Hairdresser/stripper/hooker trash turned porn star. This girl will fuck anything for a few bucks seriously. She said she was lesbian for sometime and suddenly became mysteriously pregnant. She was very public about her pregnancy and seemed happy about her abortion. She has no shame at all. Her twitter has fully nude pics showing her saggy ugly tits and everyone knows she’s in porn now. She does a bunch of drugs and can be found bumming c*ke lines at any club in hollywood. She’s not curvy, she’s fat.

Pale skin looks trashy with dark hair.- nik



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What Do You Think Of Her Body

April 8, 2013 Santa Monica 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Kara Sadlik. She is a burner (goes to burning man), free love, loves to have orgies with multiple men and definitely has the gift that keeps on giving. Her face needs a lot of work and she does need +2′s. However, I do think she has an amazing body. I want my body to look like hers. I was wondering what you thought of it? Thanks Nik!

Her body is nothing without +2′s. Right now she looks masculine with that chest.- nik



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Are Looks Everything

April 7, 2013 Santa Monica, The Dirty 152

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, first of all, I love your sight. I definitely don’t agree with everything you say but I find it entertaining and I love your honesty. I just have a questions for you. I am a 23 year old girl who recently graduated with honors from a top 10 university in California. I have a full time job, I pay my own bills, and I have a lot of drive and ambition. While I enjoy your website, reading it makes me feel pretty insecure. I consider myself far from a “yes”, I know I’m not ugly. I’m 5’7, 115lbs, blonde hair, and I’ve had a nose job (you while would say I should get a boob job but I’m not into that). I know looks can get you further, but I’d rather be recognized for my brain. Basically, I just wanted to know what you think about that? Would you prefer a pretty girl who has personality, brains, and ambition, or a 10 who gets by just on their looks? Does a brain add any more points to the equation? I mean, we all get old and ugly at some point.

I can’t f*ck a brain and whispering math equations in my ear during intercourse doesn’t turn me on. Guy don’t sleep with mental, they sleep with physical. I decided.- nik



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Nates Past Due

March 21, 2013 Santa Monica, UCLA 18

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Meet Nate Rodriquez aka IG Imatrex,( Im a Trex) Yes hes obsessed with dinosaurs, Wannabe DJ Jurassic. He’s originally from Fremont, Bay area, and now is a graphic designer for big films in LA. He has a huge fan base of females crawling on all his websites, which he promotes on everything. Maybe to make up for his small man issues because yes he is a very very short man. While I’m positive I’m not the only female he’s pursued, he needs to be put on blast. He takes woman into his apartment for days on end to use them. Nate seems like a very genuine guy but let me assure you, hes a scumbag. He preaches about god and sleeps with a bible next to his bed. While not following anything godly like sex before marriage, tattoos, including cheating on your girlfriend of 4 years plus. Oh wait, did I forgot to mention that?! Yeaah, I found out all on my own. While I was visiting him, the mention of Disneyland came up considering its only miles away. A few days later Nate goes to Disneyland, no pictures of people show up. But one of his recent “followers” went to Disneyland too. Only to find out its his girlfriend!! Where was she for 4 days when I was there?! check this out, she moved from SF, to LA to become a makeup artist for films. They had to of planned it, moving there together cause they haven’t lived in LA very long. Ms. Lovebumkin is very proud of her “man” “boo thang”, with her always & forever posts, trips to the beach, pictures of their stuffed animals together. She seems to take him in alot of stuff but never with approval on his pages. With enough looking into it, you’ll find pictures of him wearing his clothes, comments back and fourth of I love you babes, you know me so well. Yeah right, girl! Your “boo thang” cheats on you with every chance he gets. He’s out being a trifflin’ hoe. Don’t worry about confronting him on it because he will deny it to the death of him. Nik, please warn any ladies in the LA to Bay Area from this douchebag guy. And don’t we all feel bad for his girlfriend. Not that shes that cute anyways. This is a pic of his girlfriend and here are a few of his many “selfies”, which no man should have this many of.

Only an predator would spend this much time on his pics.  People need to find better use of their time rather then photoshopping themselves.- nik



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Would You

March 15, 2013 Santa Monica 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! This blond skinny chick is Kara. She is one of those Burning Man, beach bum type of girls. However, she does have a great job working as a Aerospace engineer. Any who, I just wanted to know what you thought about her body. Her face needs a nose job, chin implant and you could probably name some more. But her body is in great shape (she does need + 2′s). Anyway, would you Nik?

Answer: No, I don’t mess around with chicks who play with snakes.  Snake charmers my ass.



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Would You With This Beauty

March 12, 2013 Santa Monica, The Dirty, Would You? 54

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik! I love trying to find girls you would say yes to. I think I may have found one. I don’t know anything about her! I just saw her on some photographers page. Her lips are amazing, cheeks are cute, and her eyes are gorgeous! Let’s get to it… Would you?!

Answer:  No, not even close.  Her head is not a hard sell for me.  I need to see more than a dominant nose.  She looks like the type that would make you take shower twice a day because she has power nostrils.- nik



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