Elwhora Notits

March 14, 2014 Seattle 29 8,778 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: Okay, so this ratchet beast has been ALL over the rave scene. Her rave name is Dyeer, but legal name is Elora Nobel. Everyone likes to call her Elwhora. By all over, I mean, ALL over. She has banged so many randoms in a small amount of two months, it’s beyond me. This crazy bitch will force you into a relationship with her, then when she’s got you, she will not only fake a pregnancy but fake s***e too. She will make you delete your contacts, block everybody on Facebook, and force you to only focus on her. She was banned from a popular rave venue (Studio 7) just a few months ago for threatening to bring a gun to a rave! She faked her own death in the same timeframe, making up this whole lie that she jumped in front of a moving car and was in critical condition in the hospital. She threatened a whole bunch of girls that were just talking to her ex (who was even her ex boyfriend at the time), saying she was going to stab them and run them over with her car. Now, this doesn’t even begin to sum up this “woman.” Beware, if you date her, she will also make up lies, such as that you beat her or abuse her. She will live in a fantasy that within the first two weeks of you guys dating, she thinks you\’ll get married and have kids together. And god forbid you try to end things, because she will threaten to run you over with her car or crash the car with both of you in it. If you actually succeed in leaving this crazy cunt, she will slander your name and tell people you have drd’s or that yore harassing her. Not to mention she will obsessively call you and drive to your house and place of work and sit there waiting for you to come out. She will pretty much stalk you. Also, if youre talking to people of the opposite gender, she will send them death threats. (There’s proof) Saying she will stab you, pepperspray you, run you over, beat you up, **ll you, shoot you, etc. This girl needs to be locked away, whether it’s in a loony bin or a cell, I don’t care! Beware of this girl, Elora Nobel.

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Sammie Jo the Prego Tuna

March 13, 2014 Seattle 36 10,427 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Samantha Jo Marchman is hands down the most disgusting creature walking the earth. Just the thought of seeing her again with no clothes on will probably haunt me the rest of my life. I met this chick on Tinder when she was about 100lbs lighter. At first I was thinking… ehhh she’s definitely not someone I’d hold hands with in public or even admit to sleeping with if any of my friends ask… but she’s do-able. Seemed like she might be fun to knock around a few times and end the little spell I was on. This was hands down the worst mistake of my life and seeing as I’m probably the biggest moron I know… that’s no small feat. So we did it… a few times… and my dumb ass made the mistake of listening to her when she said “I’m on birth control”. If you haven’t learned this lesson already, I hope my story inspires you to either A.) Master the art of pulling out or B.) Wear a rubber. And if you’re sleeping with her wear three or four simultaneously and check on them every 20 seconds or so to make sure everything is still intact. Well it only took this psycho about 5 days to drop the “I love you” line to me and at that point I started to realize that there was something SERIOUSLY not right going on inside of her head. I decided it was probably a pretty good idea to cut her off and stay away from her. I tried to be blunt with her but she simply would not take no for an answer. She would call me non stop (I’m talking 40+ missed calls in one hour) and send me these long text messages that would take me damn near hours to read. Me being the all around genius that I am I got bored/drunk and slept with her again, only to wake up in the morning and realize she had stolen a few hundred dollars from my wallet while I was asleep. In fact she did this twice. Finally I got her to stop calling and texting me for a few weeks and I thought she had moved on and I was in the clear until I get the I’m pregnant message. She then convinced me to give her money for an abortion and I never heard from her again… until a month or so later when she started sending me ultrasounds and telling me sob stories about how she just couldn’t go through with it. When I didn’t respond to those messages she proceeded to contact my new girlfriend and my dad to send them a bunch of crazy e-mails. When that failed she took being a crazy slur to a whole new level of bat shit craziness. She went down to the court house and somehow figured out how to set up a court date to get a no contact order/protection order against me and came up with some story about me stalking her (from two states away now mind you). I am legitimately afraid of this chick and I am putting this out there in the hope that no one will ever make the mistake of allowing this girl to screw with your life. If you are unfortunate enough to cross paths with her. RUN!

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Golden Tate Finally Dumps His Dream Killer

March 11, 2014 Dirty Athletes, Seattle, The Dirty 191 114,222 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Golden Tate has finally kicked Elise P to the curb. Word is, he dumped her before the Super Bowl because his parents, (mainly his Mom), didn’t approve of him dating a white girl and they’ve been putting pressure on him to cut her off. I knew the end was near; he’s a Super Bowl champ, he can pull much better tail than this. The big question is, what do you think of Elise? Do you think she will recover and date a third football player, Roy Lewis being the first in her series? Everyone fawns over her because she has blonde hair and a toned body. Is that really all you need to be considered attractive today? She’s in desperate need of a nose job and her body is straight up masculine. Dye her hair brown and she’s a 3.5829481.

I wonder what her severance package looked like?- nik

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Professional Nanny Sarah Howard

March 7, 2014 Seattle, The Dirty 355 103,914 Views


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, here is Sarah Howard a professional nanny for the rich families in the Seattle metro area  skilled in children education and family affairs.  As you can see, she doesn’t think too much, very professional selfie right?

Cleaning mirrors is obviously not part of her services.- nik

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Eric Sheiman

March 7, 2014 Seattle 8 9,199 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: This lying manipulative man. lies about his goverment name. lies about his life. age, where he was born, literally everything. i got into a fast moving relationship with him. thinking he was one person. but ended up being someone totally diff. i found out his real name when he applied for a new job. all his lies never match up.. he meets all his friends/ girlfriends or anyone he dates/fucks online.. he continues to be in an on and of again relationship with a married women for over 4 years who does meth.. ewww… after i found out who he was i kicked this sorry loser out… ladies beware of all his lies… i think he does drugs. dont let him fool you.. like he fooled me..

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You’re a Joke

March 6, 2014 Seattle 0 6,925 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ratchet Ratchet Ratchet. Anyone living in Ellensburg will know who this human colostomy bag is. But in case you’d like to put a name to a face, her name is Madivie Blonde Ambieny . She’s been posted on here so I thought I would share the dirt I have. Not only has she ballooned to borderline obesity, she still claims she weighs 125. Clearly she has never been anywhere close to that. lol My issue with her is she is so damn delusional. I attached screenshots of her self posts on “Central Washington Confessions”, it’s almost sad how much she hates herself. I would probably feel bad for her if she wasn’t so damn annoying. Maybe instead of trying to pump up her self-esteem by making fake posts and shaking her ass for randoms, she should work on being a better mother. Blast this pile of shit.

Also See: Pathetic
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Seattle’s Most Wanted Adriana

March 6, 2014 Seattle, The Dirty 40 103,155 Views


THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this girls name is Adriana you will find her all over Seattle and Portland.  She acts likes there’s no other like her because she has these giants boobs and has no problem sending naked pics to everyone.  Wanted to see what you think about her?  And maybe she can see that she is just like every other big breasted girl.

Warning: “more photos click here” is not safe for work or white men.- nik

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Gwen is the Ultimate Groupie

March 5, 2014 Seattle 10 8,547 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: This is Gwen Harpel, an almost 31 year old who’s life revolves around bands.Besides having chola eyebrows, emo girl black eyeshadow, nonexistent lips and a nose wider than texas, in her world she thinks shes a 10. Not even her implants could make her become a 3. She is the biggest groupie I have ever met. She tries to become friends with anyone and everyone who is in a band and will attend every show, and will hook up with anyone who is willing. The guys all talk shit about her and how “ugly and foul” she is but they pretend to stay friends with her cause whenever they are in town she will bring them weed and alcohol for free and get their cock sucked by her. She talks non stop about all her “musician friends” and how many she has slept with like its a good thing, while all the guys try to deny it. She is the definition of a cum dumpster. Hey Bradley Bell from Chiodos, you should probably go get tested.

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