Gwen is the Ultimate Groupie

March 5, 2014 Seattle 10 8,553 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: This is Gwen Harpel, an almost 31 year old who’s life revolves around bands.Besides having chola eyebrows, emo girl black eyeshadow, nonexistent lips and a nose wider than texas, in her world she thinks shes a 10. Not even her implants could make her become a 3. She is the biggest groupie I have ever met. She tries to become friends with anyone and everyone who is in a band and will attend every show, and will hook up with anyone who is willing. The guys all talk shit about her and how “ugly and foul” she is but they pretend to stay friends with her cause whenever they are in town she will bring them weed and alcohol for free and get their cock sucked by her. She talks non stop about all her “musician friends” and how many she has slept with like its a good thing, while all the guys try to deny it. She is the definition of a cum dumpster. Hey Bradley Bell from Chiodos, you should probably go get tested.

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Auburn girl Katie

March 3, 2014 Auburn, Seattle 7 7,346 Views

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THE DIRTY ARMY: This girl katie lives in Auburn she will meet you at a hotel or your house any where to please you most likely has every drd there is

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Destiny Seattle’s Stripper

March 3, 2014 Seattle 5 9,673 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this girls name is Destiny and yeah she’s decent and has nice boobs but who pumped her extension filled head that she is a model now, and not just a stripper? She swears up and down that her “agent” is getting her tons of work in the modeling field but looks to me that some perv convinced her to take her clothes off and he’ll snap a few shots. Pretty sure if you still strip 5 times a week, your a full time STRIPPER, don’t ever forget where you started girl! Her crew includes that girl Kayla Mraz, I’m sure you remember her…sl*ts tend to flock together.

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Beware of Sussie Engelmann

March 3, 2014 Seattle 6 8,554 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Beware of Sussie Engelmann. I made the mistake of sleeping with this broad once and I hope that anyone who reads this will never make the same mistake.

On the outside she appears to be a sweet little harmless woman. As you get to know her and have more conversations you may start to notice that there is something seriously wrong with her. She has a history of substance abuse issues. She is in and out of court and in and out of rehab for her alcoholism and prescription drug abuse. Recently she has fallen off the horse again and is back using heavily.

Once upon a time she was your average suburban house wife. Married to a Veterinarian who is the father of her young daughter. After she got all strung out on drugs he left her. Now she gets paid spousal support and claims that she is unable to work due to mental health issues.

After I made the mistake of sleeping with this girl she wouldn’t take no for an answer and even though I didn’t respond to her she continued to send me non stop messages where she would go on rants for hours and hours and in the middle of the night sending me text messages that would have taken me hours to read. She then took to Facebook and started messaging people who I was friends with telling them false stories about me and when that didn’t get my attention she ended up threatening to contact my new girlfriend and tell her lies. When that didn’t work she ended up contacting my girlfriend and sending her a bunch of insane messages on Facebook, filled with false stories that portrayed an evil picture of me. This woman has done everything she can to slander me for the past few weeks, including pages that she most likely created about me on this site.

I hope that nobody makes the same mistake as I did. When you see this woman run. She is a psychopath and on a mission to make everyone as miserable as she is. What a loser. Nik please help me spread the word about her.

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Andrew Crippen the Douches Douche

March 3, 2014 Seattle 11 8,254 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Andrew Crippen is the douche of all douche bags. He makes being a douche bag look noble. This guy goes in the hall of fame for pieces of shit. Someone should contact Guinness and see if there’s a record somewhere for who can sleep with the most sub par women. This guy would win it by a landslide. He thinks he is such a huge player. Quality over quantity man. Something you know NOTHING about. The reason why you get to sleep with all of these chicks is because nobody else wants to and they are thirsty. You think you are SO cool. Nobody likes you bro. Literally NOBODY. Cool so you got all big and buff now from shooting up steroids in your ass and going to the gym every day. I wonder if you warn all of these chicks that yo’ve probably had unprotected sex with well over 200 women and that you most likely have A**S or drd before you stick it in them with no rubber. I seriously feel so bad for every chick who wakes up after being roofied in a bed next to you. Do you tell them how you have about 10 different women pregnant right now too. You are a disgusting piece of trash. The only reason I keep you as a friend on Facebook is to compare my life to yours every time I have a shitty day. It could be worse, I could be Crippen. You should be an anti drug commercial or a birth control ad. Wrap your package or end up giving birth to a dumb son of a bitch like Crippen. PS You never slept with me and if you did I was blacked out and don’t remember so you pretty much are a rapist. Stop telling people you did. I am waaaaay the hell out of your league. And keep your stupid selfies to yourself. Oh and all your stupid pictures of food on Instagram. Idiot.

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Valerie Pettersen: Post Pregnancy

February 26, 2014 Seattle 16 9,466 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: I ran across some article a few days ago on The Dirty about Valerie Pettersen that was most likely written by my boy Cripp. In those pictures, taken years ago, Valerie actually looks model status. She has since had a baby and according to him still breast feeds every night. Those tots are not what they used to be, she’s got no butt and the skin around her stomach is all stretched out and saggy. He’s sent me a handful of nudies and I’ve even seen the little sex tape they made on his cell phone a few times too. Between his shitty tattoos and her absent butt it’s enough to make someone sick. Crippen you are not a porn star brother and Valerie you are definitely not a model. It’s been a long time since you looked good enough to take pictures like these and for god’s sake please close your legs, get a job and stop seducing middle aged men in exchange for money. Crippen you are a good dude and you’re capable of doing much better than these low life chicks you seem to have a knack for drawing towards you. Time to put the bottle down and go back to being sober. You’re not going to find happiness at the bar, no matter how many 7′s you bring home. Don’t let him lie to you, he was very hurt when it didn’t work out with her. He’s on another one of his slut rampages that usually ends with him in the clinic telling the doctor it burns when he pees. Hate to blast you like this dude but you need to wake up and do something with your life. As far as Valerie goes… I don’t really know her well enough to have heard her side of this but I’m sure she isn’t caught up on him either. She seems to go between quite a few guys as well and I’ve seen her out at the bar the past few nights overly intoxicated leaving out with a different guy both times. Both of whom were well over her age and one of whom is married and has kids. Shame on you. You guys were both posting professional couple pictures you had taken on Facebook a few months back and swore you were in love. Valerie, you were telling him you wanted to marry him and he was telling everyone you were moving in together. If there wasn’t an innocent child involved I’d post the pictures of the three of you all snuggled up in bed together pretending to be a family. Crippen thats not your kid fool. Neither of you get to act cool now and put the other person down. I’m sure you’ve both said crazy things. I’ve witnessed a handful of them. It’s time for both of you to move on now. Goodness.

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Karolyn Wasilewski Is A Cheater

February 26, 2014 Seattle 6 7,527 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Karolyn Wasilewski is a cheating little slur. While she was over in Puyallup opening a new restaurant she decided to cheat on her boyfriend who she’s “head over heels in love with” with my boy Andrew Crippen. Apparently this has become somewhat of a pattern for her. Time for someone to do something about this chick so she can’t continue to lead her boyfriend on any further while she’s getting her cakes beat down on the side.

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Super Beautiful Man With The Nicest Body

February 26, 2014 Seattle, The Dirty 141 101,095 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this guy is from Seattle his name is VJ.  He has the most amazingly gorgeous body I have ever seen! He has just a great personality just as his body.  I’m a 9/10 girl I’ve tried to talk with him so many times but he will not just go for anyone unless you get to know him first.

VJ, you really think this post will get you laid?- nik

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