Andrew Crippen the Douches Douche

March 3, 2014 Seattle 12 8,273 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Andrew Crippen is the douche of all douche bags. He makes being a douche bag look noble. This guy goes in the hall of fame for pieces of shit. Someone should contact Guinness and see if there’s a record somewhere for who can sleep with the most sub par women. This guy would win it by a landslide. He thinks he is such a huge player. Quality over quantity man. Something you know NOTHING about. The reason why you get to sleep with all of these chicks is because nobody else wants to and they are thirsty. You think you are SO cool. Nobody likes you bro. Literally NOBODY. Cool so you got all big and buff now from shooting up steroids in your ass and going to the gym every day. I wonder if you warn all of these chicks that yo’ve probably had unprotected sex with well over 200 women and that you most likely have A**S or drd before you stick it in them with no rubber. I seriously feel so bad for every chick who wakes up after being roofied in a bed next to you. Do you tell them how you have about 10 different women pregnant right now too. You are a disgusting piece of trash. The only reason I keep you as a friend on Facebook is to compare my life to yours every time I have a shitty day. It could be worse, I could be Crippen. You should be an anti drug commercial or a birth control ad. Wrap your package or end up giving birth to a dumb son of a bitch like Crippen. PS You never slept with me and if you did I was blacked out and don’t remember so you pretty much are a rapist. Stop telling people you did. I am waaaaay the hell out of your league. And keep your stupid selfies to yourself. Oh and all your stupid pictures of food on Instagram. Idiot.

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Valerie Pettersen: Post Pregnancy

February 26, 2014 Seattle 16 9,495 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: I ran across some article a few days ago on The Dirty about Valerie Pettersen that was most likely written by my boy Cripp. In those pictures, taken years ago, Valerie actually looks model status. She has since had a baby and according to him still breast feeds every night. Those tots are not what they used to be, she’s got no butt and the skin around her stomach is all stretched out and saggy. He’s sent me a handful of nudies and I’ve even seen the little sex tape they made on his cell phone a few times too. Between his shitty tattoos and her absent butt it’s enough to make someone sick. Crippen you are not a porn star brother and Valerie you are definitely not a model. It’s been a long time since you looked good enough to take pictures like these and for god’s sake please close your legs, get a job and stop seducing middle aged men in exchange for money. Crippen you are a good dude and you’re capable of doing much better than these low life chicks you seem to have a knack for drawing towards you. Time to put the bottle down and go back to being sober. You’re not going to find happiness at the bar, no matter how many 7′s you bring home. Don’t let him lie to you, he was very hurt when it didn’t work out with her. He’s on another one of his slut rampages that usually ends with him in the clinic telling the doctor it burns when he pees. Hate to blast you like this dude but you need to wake up and do something with your life. As far as Valerie goes… I don’t really know her well enough to have heard her side of this but I’m sure she isn’t caught up on him either. She seems to go between quite a few guys as well and I’ve seen her out at the bar the past few nights overly intoxicated leaving out with a different guy both times. Both of whom were well over her age and one of whom is married and has kids. Shame on you. You guys were both posting professional couple pictures you had taken on Facebook a few months back and swore you were in love. Valerie, you were telling him you wanted to marry him and he was telling everyone you were moving in together. If there wasn’t an innocent child involved I’d post the pictures of the three of you all snuggled up in bed together pretending to be a family. Crippen thats not your kid fool. Neither of you get to act cool now and put the other person down. I’m sure you’ve both said crazy things. I’ve witnessed a handful of them. It’s time for both of you to move on now. Goodness.

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Karolyn Wasilewski Is A Cheater

February 26, 2014 Seattle 6 7,534 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Karolyn Wasilewski is a cheating little slur. While she was over in Puyallup opening a new restaurant she decided to cheat on her boyfriend who she’s “head over heels in love with” with my boy Andrew Crippen. Apparently this has become somewhat of a pattern for her. Time for someone to do something about this chick so she can’t continue to lead her boyfriend on any further while she’s getting her cakes beat down on the side.

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Super Beautiful Man With The Nicest Body

February 26, 2014 Seattle, The Dirty 141 101,099 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, this guy is from Seattle his name is VJ.  He has the most amazingly gorgeous body I have ever seen! He has just a great personality just as his body.  I’m a 9/10 girl I’ve tried to talk with him so many times but he will not just go for anyone unless you get to know him first.

VJ, you really think this post will get you laid?- nik

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Baby Momma Sloot

February 24, 2014 Seattle 51 8,386 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Valerie Pettersen is a straight slut. You may remember her from her days at the local Cowgirls bikini stands. She was the one who would show you her big nice rack for $20. Or maybe from the KISW Calendar in 2011 where she slept with Steve the Producer to guarantee she made it in. Well since then she’s a had daughter with this really ugly dude who’s about 10 years older than her and continued to slut around as much as possible. She doesn’t work and just sits on her ass all day collecting money from her poor kid’s Dad. Andrew Crippen, who was dating her not too long ago, discovered that she has a few older gentlemen who she sleeps with in exchange for money and also that she provides sexual favors in exchange for more money from her kid’s dad. This chick is famous for saying “I don’t use condoms. Abortion is my birth control.” And for the record she has had 9 abortions to date. Somebody put this slut in her place. She’s a dirty predator. Perfect for this site.

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Port Orchard Homewrecker

February 19, 2014 Seattle, Washington 6 5,724 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, I want you to put this butch (not bitch but she is)JODI ECKLUND on blast. My first mistake I guess was getting into a relationship with a lesbian but in the end we got married and had 3 boys, all under 5 right now. For at least the last two years this Port Orchard homewrecker has been contacting my partner and professing her love for her, that she misses her, sappy bullshit really and in the end they’ve exchanged secretive emails, texts, phonecalls and even meeting. They are former “lovers” and I finally caught up …stupid me but the reason I want her put on blast is because she has hurt my three little boys through her meddling – she can have her ex (now mine) back but hurting my kids is unforgivable.

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Frostbite NoNo’s

February 19, 2014 Seattle 55 10,662 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Ok. First off these girls are fckin gross. Their leader is a mother of two children, Douglas and Natsha, Both have no father around as Dette (their gogo leader) is such an idiot she has sex with rapists and child molesters. She is like a size 12 and seems to think she’s a size 2…. She calls her team gogo’s…when in fact she has no formal training or experience with dancing. Instead she got turned down by every crew in Seattle…so she made one… behold frostbite gogo! She is a terrible person who leaves her kids with the men she’s dating…just to go get wasted at raves, pretend she’s a gogo and sleep with the first man the shows her affection. She thinks bashing on others is ok, she will tell u to your face … First time I ever met this girl, she was at inferno at el rev and she was 6months prego and high as a fckin kite while wearing gogo gear…mother of the year people! She blows marijuana and pill smoke in her babies faces when they don’t stop screaming. She beats on all of her boyfriends …you can ask these men : Tevor, sky, donnie and John. Everyone is tired of seeing this crew of tramps run themselves into raves thinking they are top shit…when in fact….they just look like shit. Biomorph nessie or Vanessa, is a whore. She will sleep with any man, I’ve seen it. Hailee meow is a drug addict…heroin and meth…yum She calls herself a boss and princess…and for some ungoldy reaon thinks she Ariel..bwhhahaa… She needs to get a job, stop living off the state and using its money to buy her crew gogo gear…and walmart panties that she glues childish sequins too and calls it a costume when it looks like something my grandma would make for herself. Did I mention most of her girls are under 18yrs of age… So with that said…this girl needs a reality she’s fuckin fat, mean, disgusting, a bad parent and horrid dancer. Watch out for frostbite gogo…they may just freeze your dick off. Someone needs to tell this girl to stop dancing b4 she falls on someone in a crowd and breaks them in half!

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F-Dub is Single

February 17, 2014 Seattle 14 6,481 Views

THE DIRTY ARMY: Lynsay is back on the market… Shocking. Not. She is out trolling the bars, casinos, and dating sites with her cleavage on display to try and hook herself a meal ticket. I managed to dodge this bullet a couple years ago, so this warning is a public service announcement for the Seattle-Tacoma area. If you’re going to pump & dump, strap up!

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