THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, what do you think of these two cheerleaders from Stanford? Would you?

Answer: No, ones got cheeks shaped like a box and the others chewing on her dimples.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, my older sister went to Stanford and her claim to fame was banging Andrew Luck.  Now, I truly love my sister but she is the ugly duckling in our family.  It started as a joke but all of us now, including my parents call her Khloe because she is twice as big as my sister and I.  You should see our family picture she looks so out of place.  She is 6 feet tall and on Christmas weighed in at 232 (we were all in tears laughing lol).  Now Andrew Luck slept with her several times over a 68 day period (she counted every day and has told this story 4893935 times).  Now it makes me wonder, when a guy like Andrew decides to stay in school and pass up on millions like he did last year it can only mean he did it for the beat chicks.  I couldn’t send my sister in but here are some Stanford cheerleaders for you.  Nothing against her but Andrew Luck is no one, like my other sister and I we have both slept with Cam Newton, Jamarcus Russell, Vince Young, Michael Vick, Big Ben(oh and is he big), Baron Davis, Josh Smith, Lil Wayne, Birdman, Mack Mane, Drake, Chad Johnson and Larry Johnson… just to name a few.  I’ve slept with my share of QBs and I really can tell Luck will be a phenomenal player, much as I want to… Not going to sleep with him, my sis would be distraught.

You can tell the two cheerleaders on the right are the mounts.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is the ugliest pageant queen ever. Where should we start with this pageant girl / wanna-be stanford undergraduate / wanna-be celebrity / wanna-be chinatown star (she thinks she will get famous making ridiculous appearances). There are plenty more “wanna-be” titles that we can award her with since she joined so many pageants and finally get this miss chinatown title in 2010, after she did all she could, bribed the judges, slept with the sponsors. LOL!! So after her pageant experiences, she now walked in stanford, everyone knows that she got in stanford because of her bitch chinatown title, not her 2.5 GPA! How do you expect her winning an asian hippo? We all know that she mopped the floor for the director in her 2007 miss teen chinatown pageant , and she washed the car for the director when she came back to run for miss chinatown in 2010. it’s a scam, that’s how she won. or elsewise, she couldn’t even had a chance. she’s very ugly both outside and inside, in fact, she’s evil, a monster. she stole her friends’ boyfriends; she copied other people’s work and put her name on the papers; she pretended to be nice but talk trash in the back; she could smile at you then chop your head off. this evil hearted girl, better confess before it gets too late.

Not with those gangrene pits of hers.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is “Dr” Jefferey Ullman, a professor at Stanford University who has been well known to be a racist. Now he has revealed that he hates all Iranians.. When asked about whether an Iranian student could join Stanford he said he couldn’t help him get admission to the university. But then went on to say “And even if I were in a position to help, I will not help Iranian students until Iran recognizes and respects Israel as the land of the Jewish people. If Iranians want the benefits of Stanford and other institutions in the U.S., they have to respect the values we hold in the U.S., including freedom of religion and respect for human rights.” LMAO this guy is hilariously stupid, then he has the cheek to claim he is not racist when everybody who has been taught by him knows he is a racist! He’s giving Stanford a really bad rep, haha it’s ridiculous that we have bigots like this in the 21st century.

He looks Iranian to me.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, can you believe Andrew Luck is skipping the NFL Draft and he would have been the #1 pick hands down.  What an idiot I think to myself, what if he gets hurt?  He is basically saying I don’t want 50 million dollars next year, id rather learn and be a nerd.  Like seriously what the hell is his problem?

He deserves to get injured now. The window of opportunity waits for no one.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik, I need your help putting this lying, retarded douchebag on blast! This is John Burns (if that’s his real name), the most sorry excuse for a penis I have ever seen. Me and a girl friend met him at a bar, and he started spitting all sorts of whack game at her. He started by saying he was the owner of a nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains (He eventually said he owned a third. That went from owning the restaurant on the resort, now he claims to be the kitchen manager). He then bragged that he owned 2 Jaguars (He owns one). What I don’t get is why would someone brag about owning a Jaguar? It’s a total old lady car!! He also originally told us he was married once before (turned out to be twice), and he owned a pot far (another total lie, as there were no crops to be found). All this douche does is throw whack ass parties at his resort (where underaged kids show up and get f*cked up on drugs), and use people for drugs. Worst of all, he claims to be 32 years old. COME ON!! He’s 45 if he’s a day! He allegedly slips roofies into girls drinks and sleeps with them.He promises people the world, and never delivers. He is currently under legal suspicion of raping a girl at the resort. Oh, and he’s 5’2. Anyhow, time to show the world what a sorry waste of a Y-Chromosone that John Burns is!!

I’m no tranny expert, but, that guy is definitely grabbing the pec of a large wigged man.  Go get’em sailor.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik, I think you would agree when  I say that california girls are the best, and better yet a brunette. This girl is all natural and cute as can be, so Nik would you?

Answer: no.  Her chin comes to a point and body is a little thick.

THE DIRTY ARMY: So Nik, just when I thought San Jose couldn’t get moe douchebaggy, I stumble across this at Westfield Valley Fair. Come spring, I’m thinking about renouncing my US citizenship and move abroad ( I was gonna say I’d move to France, but then I remembered Christian Audigay is from France).

These stores will be gone in a year from the opening date.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is a girl named Izzy (Izabella). She is crazy smart and are was a cheerleader at Morehead State University. She will be a Sophmore this school season and is 19 years old. Tell me if you think she is hott are not.

She has a decent body… but I give it 2 more seasons before she looks late 30′s.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I was thinking you should send out an official request to your army to begin sending in the dirt so we can see what this years freshman have to offer. Let College Season Begin???

Attention all college students, are you in a gay frat? Do you have a roommate who doesn’t shower? Do you know a new freshman who does the walk of shame as many times as they play “tonight is a good night”? The world needs to know and TheDirty.com is open for business. Studying is overrated… be my friend, it is cooler.- nik

Lets get a jump on College Season and Submit Your Dirt Here

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