Sydney

When’s It Gunna End

Posted in Sydney, The Dirty

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Bobbi, as you can see from the pics she is OLD…she has dreamed of making it for as long as I can remember.  She has done shameless acts of self promotion and wh*ring herself out for years, in hopes of some sort of modeling or acting career.  Unfortunately this is never gunna happen, everyone seems to know this but her.  Nik when should a girl give up on her dreams, I mean at some point it just becomes embarrassing, am I right?

I didn’t even know it was possible to have dimples there.- nik

Looks Great Until You Get Her Clothes Off

Posted in Los Angeles, Sydney, The Dirty

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I used to sleep with Darnah and lemme just tell you that that last post was definitely submitted by her manipulative self.  This girl is full of drama and ‘boy’ issues as she likes to call it, having guys bang on the door in the middle of the night is more than a lil bit of issues.  Guys who have been with her may or may not have noticed that she turns her phone off when she’s with you to avoid conflicts…which explains all the times you try and call and her phones ‘dead’.  Ya she looks great, until you get her clothes off then you can barely stand to look at her, constantly has bruised legs (she claims its cause she anemic) nasty tramp tat and butchered downstairs.  I’ll dig through my old phone for some pics, which I warn you may scare you.  I hope America spits her out, actually nevermind then she’d be back here.  Enjoy your new nasty tramp walking the streets in America, I think she’ll suit you nicely.

I told you she probably looked terrible naked. Worst heart tattoo ever.- nik

Also See: Coming To America

Gay As A Peacock

Posted in Sydney

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this is Matt.  I;ve met some oddballs in my life but this guy takes the cake.  Apparently being a promoter means that you’ve made it in life.  He hangs out with kids who are still in ighschool, Id say he was a pedo but he doesnt touch these girls vause of his forgy stick.  I don;’t know what it is about his fgace but I can’t help but laugh it, is it just me?

Answer: No, his face makes me laugh too, he looks like a gay big bird.  Whys he so pale, don’t you guys live in the sun.

Coming To America

Posted in Los Angeles, Sydney, The Dirty


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik you Yanks should consider yourself lucky.  This is Darnah Morgan, I’ve had a thing for this girl forever, unfortunately one of my best mates used to go steady with her so shes off limits.  She is now moving to america to do a bunch of modeling or some sort of work like that, obviously  just look at her.  I can no longer admire her beauty, but at least america can enjoy her now. So Nik what do you think of this ossie beauty? are you gunna try and make contact?

She is all eyes. If you cover them up with your finger on the computer screen she becomes all nose. I bet she looks terrible naked.- nik

I Need Your Help

Posted in Brisbane, Sydney, The Dirty

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik I need your help. I’m getting really concerned about some of the messages im getting lately.  This guy, James, keeps messages me online and asking me out.  He says im the most beautiful person he has ever seen, says im just his type yadi yada yada.  He keeps asking me to go out with him and to to give him a chance cause looks can be decieving?? He says he’s seen me around and that I look better in person, wtf!!!  He started to send me racy photos and I am not enjoying them.  His messages are starting to get more direct as well, I dunno what to do.  At first I thought this guy was fake, I mean he looks photoshopped, I thought it was my friends playing a trick on me but none of them will confess.  I really don’t know what to do anymore, I think I actually have a creepy old guy stalking me.  Tell me what to do nik.

I think you should sleep with him to see if that is his real head.- nik

Spoiled One

Posted in Brisbane, Sydney

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this spoiled little brat is Jacqueline Doran.  She always brags about how rich she is and aboutt all these phtoshoots shes doing or these roles in movies which shes gunna get.  Only thing is they never happened, her parents pay for all her modeling shoots and day to day expenses, all she does is sit around all day drinking n smokin claiming that shes a model/actor…get a real job, your face looks like a rock and you have the body of a 50yo.  Everybody used to call tyhis girl womba…andi agrre with them, how bout you nik?

I think she looks more like a worm with that flat face.- nik

Rising Star Walks Away From 48 Million Dollar Television Deal For Love

Posted in Hollywood, Sydney

Rising star walks away for Love

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Kate Wilson, daughter of Bob Choat, so far the youngest ever to be offered a multi million dollar production agreement has walked away from a 48 million dollar television deal for love. Kate walked away from the production agreement to tour with boyfriend Phil Mazo not long after splitting from celebrity neurosurgeon Andrew Law. Phil Mazo is continuing his tour throughout New Zealand and Australia with Kate by his side. Walking out of The Classic Comedy Club in Auckland, New Zealand Kate stated “I love Phil and his work, he makes me laugh, what more could I want, money and my tv career don’t. We both have crazy careers but I intend to stay by his side through out the tour and return to the U.S with him”.  Kate insists she is not switching work life for party life although has been linked to Alexis and Mikel Neiers, and often seen on the L.A scene. “I’m a smart girl, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I like to work hard and I support Phil 100 per cent” she states, just after months of being accused of abusing prescription drugs. Her representation neither confirmed or denied the drug rumors but since has dropped her as a client due to her drinking behavior.

I am moving to Australia if people who have no talent that look like this are offered 48 million dollars.- nik

Australia Loves TheDirty

Posted in Dirty Army Strong, Sydney, The Dirty

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hi Nik!  I saw your post regarding your episode just being played in Australia and how you are ignoring all hate mail. Well this is the complete opposite! I think you did an amazing job on the show, and people in Australia need to calm down because I know from 22 years of experience, we are the FIRST to talk dirty about the people we know! I know you already know this, but I thought it was hilarious that Dr Phil had no answers to anything you had to say and his repeating of the same statements over and over got really boring after the first two times he said it.  People need to accept the fact that The Dirty is entertainment only and you can tell that many of the submissions you recieve are more than likely from the individuals themselves who really just want to know if “You would” on them!  You are simply a business man who took an idea and ran with it and many people who do gossip and who do b*tch about people on a day to day basis (and we all know this is true of all of us) are just annoyed that they didn’t think of a concept like The Dirty first.  Keep up the good work! P.s. Your wife is so eloquent and well spoken and concise in what she is saying and should be proud of herself for how she presents herself, she was a complete lady about the whole issue unlike that other psycho who could only yell and stutter her way through a few rants and hand waves.

I can’t wait to come to Australia, the accents are a +1 in my book. If you haven’t noticed by now, I don’t care what people think.- nik

Nik, We Need Your Help Down Under

Posted in Brisbane, Sydney, The Dirty

Help this model wannabe!

Help this model wannabe!

Help this model wannabe!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I’m asking for your help all the way from Australia! There is this girl who goes around calling herself “Satania”, she pretends to be a nice person, then sleeps with everyone’s boyfriends! Her real name is Sheryl and she is a wannabe model who is really a prostitute! She will go behind people’s backs and sleep with anyone, whether for money or for free! Worst of all, she acts like she is hot sh*t when in fact everyone is laughing at her. I think everyone deserves to know the truth about her. What do you think?

I think she needs to wake up and understand that the Devil is not her friend and doesn’t find her attractive.- nik

**Dear Australia, I understand that my Dr. Phil episode just premiered down there… it is old news so please refrain from the hate email. I just delete them.

I Had To Share This After Throwing Up My Breakfast In My Mouth

Posted in Hollywood, Melbourne, Sydney

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, your boys over at TMZ posted these pictures of Ke$ha the monster.  After throwing up my breakfast in my mouth, I had no choice but to share these with you and thedirty and see what your thoughts about this whale were?

She looks like a Manatee.- nik