THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Miguel (my brother) was intentionally hit and run over by this Jeep Commander, November 13, 2011 at Falls Night Club located 226 West Bitters Road 78216 San Antonio, Texas. There was a male mexican driver and a female passenger. If you have any information call crime stoppers at (210) 224-7867. $10,000 REWARD. He was only 24 and just graduated from the police academy back in July 2011. My brothers friend started an argument with the driver in the parking lot but it was my brother (who had nothing to do with the argument) that ended up getting killed. The driver intentionally sped up, aim for my brother, ran him over and took off. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition where he later died 3 hours later. This Jeep Commander was last seen going down Bitters to 281. We miss him more than words can describe.

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl’s name is TYLER PRUITT. She is currently expecting a baby girl with a 40 something year old guy. She was one of the biggest wh*res in my high school.. she sucked up anyone and everyone she could.  She goes out and gets wasted every night at clubs when she isn’t even 21. Sources say that she is an expert queefer and is sloppy on the greg.  She needs a huge wake up call if she is going to be a mother.

She has a lot of the same body features as Khloe Kardashian. The amazon jungle would be proud.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this b*tch is Dakota Nicole Moering. She devotes her time to pretending to know fashion, trying to take pictures that make the acne explosion on her face less noticeable, and pretending to play guitar. She is the hairiest b*tch I have ever had the misfortune of meeting and smells like CHEESE. After graduating high school she moved to Austin to attend UT and attempt to sl*t it up. But she can’t even do that right. I have spoken to quite a few people she’s f*cked and they all say the same thing: she lays there like a dead fish, is super awkward, and when they manage to get her on top, she freezes up like a prude and has NO f*cking clue what to do. It’s not rocket science sweetheart.

Skater shoes and panties…where were you going?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, obsessed with your site. Soooo I’m a student at UT in Austin and I’ve been trippin the last 2 years about what I want to do with my life. My dream job is to become the next Erin Andrews or Pam Oliver. I was born and raised a Dallas Cowboys fan and LOVE America’s sport and I think it would be so awesome just to be able to watch the games from the sideline. The problem is, I know I’m far from perfect (nose issues, dark eyes, narrow hips, no inner thigh gap, over weight, etc.) and it would be super hard to make it if you don’t have what it takes (good looks). I keep up with school and I worked my ass off to buy myself some new tots a few months ago. Anyways, my question to you is; do you think I have what it takes to make it? All my friends and family of course have said, “do what makes you happy…I think you could do it” but lets be real, I know you’ll tell me the truth. If not, I’m bomb with numbers and I will just become an accountant or something. Thanks my dude!

The nose and teeth need fixing, but you don’t want to look too hot. Female sportscasters need to have a butch lesbian flair to them so guys actually trust their sports knowledge.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this b**** is a dirty skank she f**** everybody she knows then realizes that what she did was a mistake and tells everyone they raped her! she thinks she is fine but in reality she knows that her personality is f****** ugly an that stuffing her bra wont make guys like her. she’s a straight up b**** to everyone because she’s to damn insecure. She leaves her friends hangin and while they need her she’s straight up getting trained by cholos who are dirty. she has genital warts. i feel bad for any guy who has slept with her. shes like a disease she keeps coming back when no one f****** wants her there please someone find a cure for this s***!.

She looks better as a man…no homo.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, I got hit up by this chick on FB, Brittany M*Coy.  She seems pretty cool I guess, but I noticed some of her pics didn’t match up and still trying to put my finger on whether or not she’s legit or if it’s another fake “model” page before taking her up on any of her offers, let me know what’s up.

You will want to associate yourself with that weathered face?- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Well welll Jeremiah Martiniez the most Concitied person I have ever.seen but u better thank those cloths on ur body only thing you have is style ur so fcken ugly and all of your post on Facebook are I want a Gf! no one loves me! Sex sex how about u stop worrying about wanting a fcken girlfriend and wanting to stick ur dick in someone and worry about the loss u had but no that dont stop u either right u sick fuck ur out at clubs all the Time and think ur so fly fcken young girls please and u every girl u get with u got.a whole album of them u physco ugly Fck ! worry about urself to and ur corrupted life before u worry about other people and bashing them ! dead beat father no goood uselesss in this world .

His next tattoo will be a rainbow. I decided.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Ross Phillips. I met him on myspace years ago and we started talking. We lived on opposite sides of the country but we liked each other and sent n00dz. we stopped talking for a while cuz of school but when he was with his most recent ex we started talking again. He told me how he always cheated on her and he caught DRD from this one girl he banged out at a party. He made me swear not to tell anyone. We agreed that whenever he will break up with his now ex gf that i was gonna fly out there and stay with him for a week. Last i heard he broke up with that girl and f*cks a bunch of sl*ts that he kicks out of his sh*tty apartment right after. Nik its time to put this dbag on blast and get the karma he deserves. He tries to be a hipster but hardcore at the same time. He thinks hes better than everyone else cause he plays hockey for tx state. I talked to some of the girls he banged out and they said he cant even keep it up for longer than a minute plus he has a short d*ck.

So you would fly out to see a guy who told you he cheats on all his girlfriends and has the drd…what the hell were you thinking.  You didn’t even fly in on his dime.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, I work for a licensed Starbucks store in a very affluent area in Frisco. I pay full price for any drink or food I want during, before, and after my shift. No free coffee. Turns out Texas (and California) Law just approved something or another that qualifies Starbucks’ Frappuccinos and all cold drinks as OK for buying with food stamps. This means that you can buy an $8 drink with food stamps instead of hamburger helper for your kids. Why does this country encourage broke a** idiots and let them just loaf around being lazy? Some people really do need the help of food stamps, and it allows them to get ahead and all that. I understand. But, I don’t understand why two girls in my line (carrying designer handbags, NOT knock offs) were talking about how they had to quit their new job because they no longer were eligible for food stamps and other government assisting. I don’t understand why this is allowed and no one is putting up any kind of fuss about this sh*t. I am extremely irritated about the fact that if I quit my job at Starbucks maybe I could qualify for free frappuccinos too. I didn’t know where else to go other than here to get the word out about this injustice. Nik, if you want more details, email me or whatnot and I can get you the bulletins & emails I’ve been sent about this, also one of my higher ups is starting a petition online and I will send you the link if you want to post it. contact me and let me know if you want the extra info.

I would love to post the petition. Food stamps is to help hungry/starving people and families, not to purchase Vanity coffees.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Shara, she has f*cked just about everybody in Waco. If you need a one night stand..hit her up on facebook “Shara Parrish” or here’s her number [removed] she is ALWAYS willling. she loves to get down and dirty with anyone.

Her stuffing is falling in the first pic.  Try duct tape…- nik